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I’ve been told by a few people that they can’t relate to people that don’t have kids. I notice my friends will go out with me as a couple when they have a babysitter but if a night with a just women they only invite moms, not me or other people without kids. And these aren’t kid related events. Some people almost seem shocked if I tell them I don’t have kids. It makes me feel worthless sometimes. I notice how they portray women in movies or tv that don’t or can’t have kids as crazy also.
I’m a man, but I can tell you that having kids because of social pressure is nonsensical. The “because everybody else is doing it, I should too!” is a childish way of thinking, and definitely should NOT be applied to something as serious as deciding to have children. I’m simply shocked at how cavalier some people are about creating children, as if it’s a fad or something of which their participation is required for social acceptance.
I'm a mother to 12 and 9 year old girls and my two closest friends are other women also in their late 40s who are both single and child free. I am still close to both of them and they both have excellent observations and suggestions about issues with my kids and my relationship with my husband. My MIL, who is in her mid 60s has no children of her own, but she spent years as an L&D nurse, so I took all of her advice about the care of my infants to heart. She knew a lot more than I did.
I personally don't subscribe to the notion that only people with direct personal experience with something, including parenting, have something positive to add. I think everyone has something positive to add.
It sounds like you need to find some better people to hang out with if they are that judgmental about someone not having kids. That's not the norm., although some people can be more prejudiced towards people who don't fit their way of thinking or lifestyle, or be cliquish and only want to hang out with people that they think are like them.
Now I will say that people with kids do tend to be busier with going here and there for various reasons with them, so their other friendships take a back seat to the kids.
I’ve been told by a few people that they can’t relate to people that don’t have kids. I notice my friends will go out with me as a couple when they have a babysitter but if a night with a just women they only invite moms, not me or other people without kids. And these aren’t kid related events. Some people almost seem shocked if I tell them I don’t have kids. It makes me feel worthless sometimes. I notice how they portray women in movies or tv that don’t or can’t have kids as crazy also.
Society revolves around kids these days. If you don't have them you're almost a pariah. Not sure why but this seems to be the case.
I've never limited my friends based on the number or lack of children, marital status, age, religion, hobbies or how they vote. None of those items encompass the full picture of a person. It's nice to have a wide range of friends and not be so prejudiced and close minded.
And it's okay to do some things with some friends and other things with others.
I would not be friends with a child free person who had a chip on their shoulder about it.
We are friends with a millennial who doesn't have kids. There are plenty of things we don't invite him to because he's not a parent. We remain friends, and his attitude about not being invited to stuff is on him.
We are certainly more wrapped up in raising our children and staying sane while facing all the challenges of parenting than we are worried about the fragility of our adult child-free friend's feelings.
I would not be friends with a child free person who had a chip on their shoulder about it.
We are friends with a millennial who doesn't have kids. There are plenty of things we don't invite him to because he's not a parent. We remain friends, and his attitude about not being invited to stuff is on him.
We are certainly more wrapped up in raising our children and staying sane while facing all the challenges of parenting than we are worried about the fragility of our adult child-free friend's feelings.
Does he really have a chip on his shoulder about it?
I'd be curious to know what he has said or done that's given you that impression.
It's always possible I'm misreading this since I don't know the situation personally, but something about the tone of this post comes across in a way that makes me wonder whether he is the one with the chip on the shoulder.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wac_432
I would not be friends with a child free person who had a chip on their shoulder about it.
We are friends with a millennial who doesn't have kids. There are plenty of things we don't invite him to because he's not a parent. We remain friends, and his attitude about not being invited to stuff is on him.
We are certainly more wrapped up in raising our children and staying sane while facing all the challenges of parenting than we are worried about the fragility of our adult child-free friend's feelings.
Define “a chip on their shoulder.”
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