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My kids definitely feel anxiety and a lot of pressure from school. My oldest is a senior, and as she gets ready to apply to colleges, she's so stressed that she's in the bathroom every ten minutes. She didn't score well on the SAT, but she says she has too much anxiety to take it again, and besides she wants to do her first two years at the community college to cut costs, and her score is good enough for that. She had to pick an endorsement her freshman year, and her career goals have changed multiple times, so she's actually taken enough science and math to get the STEM endorsement, which was a pleasant surprise.
My younger daughter has a chronic illness that causes fatigue and brain fog, among other symptoms. She wants to be a lawyer, but realizes with her health problem it will probably be impossible to sit in a classroom with other students, which will make college more complicated. (She goes to online public school now.) She's putting in the bare minimum of effort right now because she feels like her illness is robbing her of the future she wants. I don't know how to fix that or how to make high school less stressful for either of my kids.
I feel there's a great deal of validity to it, considering the HS students I've worked with. Kids fully understand how their success, or lack of thereof, in specific classes and tests will influence their opportunities for college and career choices in the near future. They also seem far more scheduled with extracurricular activities than my generation was. However, it didn't seem that my school was making an effort to push kids into career choices in the least. I actually tried to steer a few kids into learning a trade, rather than heading to college, to no avail. Everyone seems to want college. It's sad that kids are already worrying about being saddled with student debt during their teen years. I wasn't aware of that but it makes sense.
Of course there remains a certain percentage of kids who don't apply themselves, really couldn't care less about their achievement. Or perhaps that's how they cope with earlier perceived failures by adopting a "what the hell" attitude for their remaining years in school.
I'm not in agreement regarding the electronic feedback on tests and assignments adding stress though. What's the difference? Scores aren't available until the teacher finishes grading them, just as in the past. I believe most assignments are posted in both formats, electronic and paper. Technology well applied, IMO.
My kid, now 21, had an easy time with HS and was an excellent test taker, fortunately. She didn't schedule herself so much as most of her peers.
I'm wondering what has changed so drastically since my last child graduated high school, less than 9 years ago. All three of ours applied to the colleges they wanted to attend, got into some, but not all of them, and graduated with degrees. They have all found good jobs, and I don't remember any of the angst the article implies, from them or their friends. So, what happened?
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In the original article, I was struck by the comment that children are constantly being reminded to optimize their future.
A local elementary school I was working with last year had a near CONSTANT pressure to attend college. This was k-5. There were permanent billboards on the walls showing which college the teachers had graduated from, and on Fridays the teachers all wore spirit wear from their college and kids were encouraged to declare what colleges they were interested in.
Outside the door, in a huge poster, was an advertisement for the college the teacher attended or one he/she would recommend.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
I'm wondering what has changed so drastically since my last child graduated high school, less than 9 years ago. All three of ours applied to the colleges they wanted to attend, got into some, but not all of them, and graduated with degrees. They have all found good jobs, and I don't remember any of the angst the article implies, from them or their friends. So, what happened?
My kids went to a very high performing high school in Texas. The pressure to be in the top 10 percent, or failing that, into the top 25 per cent was drummed into them constantly.
There was a clear feeling that if they weren't in the top 25 per cent, there would be no college that would accept them, which is an outrageous lie.
Diagnosed anxiety disorders were common, and parents were pulling their hair out trying to get their kids to please, please stop worrying! Kids were vomiting before going to school or before taking tests.
In the original article, I was struck by the comment that children are constantly being reminded to optimize their future.
A local elementary school I was working with last year had a near CONSTANT pressure to attend college. This was k-5. There were permanent billboards on the walls showing which college the teachers had graduated from, and on Fridays the teachers all wore spirit wear from their college and kids were encouraged to declare what colleges they were interested in.
Outside the door, in a huge poster, was an advertisement for the college the teacher attended or one he/she would recommend.
To first graders.
Talking about college is not the problem. Lack of balance is the problem. Kids that age shouldn’t be pressured to spend so much time on academics and not have any time left for free play, physical activity, and spontaneous socialization. It isn’t the kids that are making the logical leap from “college desires” to “spending all one’s time on academics”. It is the adults that are doing it, and the kids are just experiencing too much pressure at too early an age.
When kids are a bit older , perhaps in the 12-14 age range, some more detailed academic guidance can be given to students who are interested. But I have never heard of a 7- year-old voluntarily choosing, without adult pressure, to sacrifice all their play time so they can go to MIT or Harvard...
But I have never heard of a 7- year-old voluntarily choosing, without adult pressure, to sacrifice all their play time so they can go to MIT or Harvard...
Come here to Mass. and you will get a good dose. Many of the people we know are grads of top universities or teach there or have some affiliation. In the academically minded towns, it is embedded in the culture. Kid's consider the activities that help get them to a good place academically (e.g. learning the violin is a fun activity), going to tutoring is fun because their friends go too. Competing academically is considered a fun challenge, much like competing and achieving in football is considered a fun challenge in States like TX. When a player doesn't make a catch, they are down and disappointed. When a student doesn't get the A, she is down and disappointed. People put athletic pressure on their kids in the States that value those things, it is similar in Mass where the pressure is on academic achievement. I am not arguing it is a good thing, but it is a thing. Schools here are top notch.
I've told my kids if they don't want to go to college, they don't have to. But they need to plan on finding a job that will allow them to live independently within a year after high school.
Both of mine have said they want to go to college. I then told them they could only go to in-state schools because they will need to cash-flow and figure out how to pay for it without graduating with debt. My daughter (a junior) has a plan in place - she'll go to community college for 2 years and transfer to a local 4-year university and finish out the last two years, all while living at home. Her first two years will be paid for by state scholarships and an annual scholarship from my company. Her third year will be paid for by her state scholarships, my company's scholarship, and her 529. She'll have to cash-flow any part of her senior year that is not covered by the state scholarship and my company's scholarship.
My son (a sophomore) has not made a concrete plan, but is planning to attend community college for the first two years and then figure out if he wants to keep going or settle for an associate's degree.
I do not pressure them to make straight As or join every club/committee/team in order to build a better transcript. My daughter has done a few clubs in high school, strictly for fun. My son does not do clubs at all. The only time they get lectured is when they get Cs or lower. Bs or higher are completely acceptable in our house.
As a result they are not stressed, but they are still actively planning their futures. But they know I'll be happy with whatever they decide, as long as they have a well-researched plan. As a result, my kids have almost no stress and are not worried at all about their futures, which makes me very happy (and them, too).
I'm wondering what has changed so drastically since my last child graduated high school, less than 9 years ago. All three of ours applied to the colleges they wanted to attend, got into some, but not all of them, and graduated with degrees. They have all found good jobs, and I don't remember any of the angst the article implies, from them or their friends. So, what happened?
This. Mine graduated from USC, USC, East Carolina, and Georgia Tech.
I don't remember any of them over stressed. My last graduated college in 2009.
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