Giving teenager ride to work (dinner, parent, girl, fighting)
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Hopefully she gets the job at Subway but tbh having to walk 2 miles to work isn't ideal, either. That's like a 30 min walk both ways, so an hour out of her day. How long will her shifts be, how late? Is the route safe? My job was about 2 miles away when I was in high school and I never walked there, nor did my parents think that was a good option for me.
My first job was about a mile and a quarter away. I rode my bike.
Two miles will be easy for parents to drive, and hopefully the daughter has learned something from losing the first job. I think the other job wouldn't have worked out well, anyway, because 9 miles each way, done twice, takes at least an hour out of the parent's day.
If the girl does sometimes have to walk, at least it's her hour, since it is her job.
How are you going to teach your daughter to honor her commitments and responsibilities?
You committed to driving her. Your fell down on your commitment as a form of punishment. But you didn't just punish her - you punished her coworkers who had to deal with an understaffed team, her managers who had to figure out how to fill her shift with no warning and then had to call her to fire her.
Why didn't you have her call her work to quit when it became clear she wouldn't have consistent transportation? That's on you.
How are you going to teach your daughter to honor her commitments and responsibilities?
You committed to driving her. Your fell down on your commitment as a form of punishment. But you didn't just punish her - you punished her coworkers who had to deal with an understaffed team, her managers who had to figure out how to fill her shift with no warning and then had to call her to fire her..
He (and she) who makes the rules can break them at will.
So, the OP is the one who's making the rules for her daughter to be responsible and what-have-you. That means she has the luxury to break those rules and her daughter does not. For a point of comparison, think about how cops turn on their flashers to cut through a red light.
She quit her job at subway yesterday ! and threw a lit candle at me when we were fighting about it.
We are going to counseling when she gets out of Juvenile detention . I turned her in to the police . The candle hit me square in the face.
Why were you fighting with her about this? Why did she quit the job? Do you talk to her without fighting with her about what she should do?
I am sorry she threw a lit candle at you. Were you burned? I understand wanting her to stop throwing things. I hope that the counseling works for you both.
She quit her job at subway yesterday ! and threw a lit candle at me when we were fighting about it.
We are going to counseling when she gets out of Juvienile detention . I turned her in to the police . The candle hit me square in the face.
Damn! I admit, I wasn't exactly sympathetic to you earlier. But this changes things. It sounds like your stepdaughter needs outside help sorting out whatever's troubling her. And turning her in to the police was for the best. If anything, it may scare her straight. Because attacking you physically was wrong beyond wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053
Why were you fighting with her about this? Why did she quit the job? Do you talk to her without fighting with her about what she should do?
Good questions. We look forward to finding out, so we can give more informed advice.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 12-08-2019 at 10:09 AM..
Yeah that matchstick size birthday candle being tossed is indeed a major hazard.
Not.
The step parent does need counseling so let's hope she finally "gets" to see the light of her exacerbating the teens rebuke.
Why were you fighting with her about this? Why did she quit the job? Do you talk to her without fighting with her about what she should do?
I am sorry she threw a lit candle at you. Were you burned? I understand wanting her to stop throwing things. I hope that the counseling works for you both.
She said she quit because "her boss is an A-Hole"
We were eating dinner.. I said that's ok, there is always other places she can apply for. Maybe after the holiday.
I wasn't arguing , she was ranting, I was calmly talking, then she stood up from the table, grabbed the candle, and WHAM.
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I admit, I wasn't exactly sympathetic to you earlier. But this changes things. It sounds like your stepdaughter needs outside help sorting out whatever's troubling her. And turning her in to the police was for the best. If anything, it may scare her straight. Because attacking you physically was wrong beyond wrong.
