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Old 10-29-2019, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Southern Most New Jersey
1,421 posts, read 955,072 times
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I worked at McDonald's when I was young. Learned a lot about working with others. Learned a lot about working with proven systems / methods. Did not like it at the time but as I looked back, time very well spent..
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Old 10-29-2019, 08:03 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,014 posts, read 18,437,414 times
Reputation: 44787
Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedparent1 View Post
(snip)

her chores consist of taking out the kitchen trash every 2 days, and putting the dishes in the dishwasher and emptying them ..

Are the chores too much ?
"Are the chores too much ?"

Well, our kids, and the kids of most of our friends & relatives, had more chores than that when they were 9 or 10 years old.
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Old 10-29-2019, 08:25 PM
 
7,620 posts, read 4,225,225 times
Reputation: 15833
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
"Are the chores too much ?"

Well, our kids, and the kids of most of our friends & relatives, had more chores than that when they were 9 or 10 years old.
Well, the teen has a job where she gets paid, and high school work is much more challenging and takes more time w/homework than elementary school.

I was one of 5 kids. We had chores. We washed the dishes (no dw), helped with vacuuming when we got old enough. I don't remember if I had the same chores when I got a job. I had 3 sisters, so it's possible we split up the vacuuming. I wouldn't have been around for loading dw & such, necessarily.
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Old 10-29-2019, 11:07 PM
 
12,807 posts, read 5,128,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
"Are the chores too much ?"

Well, our kids, and the kids of most of our friends & relatives, had more chores than that when they were 9 or 10 years old.
Who ran the household in those families? My kids didn't have chores, unless they were specifically asked to help out with something. "Hey guys, dad needs help with unloading and spreading that mulch". "Can you come here and help me drag the couch across the room?" That sort of thing. And my kids did it willingly and cheerfully. UNLESS, they had a term paper due tomorrow, and asked to beg off of spreading the mulch that would take a couple hours.

I was a stay at home mom, and I did the "chores" in the household. My kids were expected to do well in school, study, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, and when they were 16 they held down part time jobs to finance their social life and "extras".

They were NOT expected to always be cheerful and pleasant. They had ups and downs. If they sulked off and stayed in their rooms and didn't cheerfully respond to questions, well, that's a teenager.

I didn't need help with vacuuming and taking out the trash, or doing the laundry, thanks. That was my job.

And they've grown into very successful, joyful, lovely men. Who like to come home and enjoy family events.
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Old 10-30-2019, 12:08 AM
 
677 posts, read 230,394 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedparent1 View Post
I'm so confused ... I always hear about how parents let their teenagers run the household, and ignore all the rules ..


Now I tried some basic rules, and asked to be treated normal, like not being yelled at, the teenager didn't listen, and now I'm the horrible parent ?


So I should be like all the "COOL" parents, and smoke pot with them,, let them have friends over and get drunk ... give them money so they don't have to work, be a cool parent with no rules ??
Actually, parents have become stricter over time. It was more common for parents in the 70s to host drunken parties for their kids and to smoke pot with their kids than it is for parents today to do those things. Schools have become stricter over time, not more permissive. Teen crimes rates, teen drinking rates, and teen pot-smoking rates are the lowest they’ve ever been since the 1950s.
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Old 10-30-2019, 12:24 AM
 
12,807 posts, read 5,128,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redguitar77111 View Post
Actually, parents have become stricter over time. It was more common for parents in the 70s to host drunken parties for their kids and to smoke pot with their kids than it is for parents today to do those things. Schools have become stricter over time, not more permissive. Teen crimes rates, teen drinking rates, and teen pot-smoking rates are the lowest they’ve ever been since the 1950s.
Parents have become STRICTER? You are unaware of history, RedGuitar.

In YOUR world, I guess. I wonder where in the world you live.

Kids were paddled black and blue at school, kids were forced to present their hands to be whacked by a ruler in school for missing math questions, and kids were beaten black and blue at home because they were beaten black and blue in school.

Red guitar, you lived in a bubble world where your parents smoked pot with you, which wasn't everyone else's experience. In fact, it was almost no one's experience. Parents were MUCH, MUCH stricter in the past. Although you didn't experience it.
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Old 10-30-2019, 06:46 AM
 
14,346 posts, read 10,604,115 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedparent1 View Post
16 year old got her first job at McDonalds, we were excited for her and told her how proud we were for her to start her first job. Gladly offered to give rides since she does great in school, and does chores around the house.

She instantly developed an attitude, and stopped doing 50% of her chores. When asked why she didn't bring the trash out, we got a nasty response.

Given the change in tides, I feel maybe she is too immature to have a job, and maybe she can find her own ride, or ride her bike, or have to quit ...

this isn't the first time she has went on these attitude swings.


we get the impression she feels like she's an "adult" now and doesn't need us now, and doesn't need to listen or do chores because she's going to have her own money now ...


thoughts ? Shes 16, has hasn't started drivers ed, and doesn't have her permit. McDonalds is 9 miles away ...
You get the impression? What does she SAY?
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Old 10-30-2019, 08:45 AM
 
13,085 posts, read 10,431,657 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redguitar77111 View Post
Actually, parents have become stricter over time. It was more common for parents in the 70s to host drunken parties for their kids and to smoke pot with their kids than it is for parents today to do those things. Schools have become stricter over time, not more permissive. Teen crimes rates, teen drinking rates, and teen pot-smoking rates are the lowest they’ve ever been since the 1950s.
But also the more authoritarian parenting has declined -specifically the kind of parents that would use corporal punishment on kids for mere “ back talk”.
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Old 10-30-2019, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
33,656 posts, read 21,343,380 times
Reputation: 48902
Aside from all the other good comments, if this attitude is sporadic, is it possible it is PMS?
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Old 10-30-2019, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
33,656 posts, read 21,343,380 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedparent1 View Post
Whelp nope, she'll be moving out the day she turns 18, or sooner.

She can see how slamming doors, screaming, yelling, freaking out works out for her in real life.

So you have no interest in actual parenting? You know, teaching communication, discussing problems......
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