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Um, no. It’s the opposite, especially among the younger and more educated population. While I have a lot of friends with 4+ kids (none are religious), and navigate spaces that attract big families, I also have a lot of friends with three, sometimes two kids, and a sprinkling of friends that have one or don’t want kids at all. If you’re seeing a lot of big families, consider where you live (certain regions have a higher population of large families) and cognitive biases (you see it because that’s what you’re focusing on). When you leave the house, there are a lot of women sans kids going about their lives. Chances are, many of them do not have kids, and this is especially true in certain areas.
I knew I wanted a big family early on. I ended up having three girls and three boys. Most of my peers in my family have two kids. I’m the outlier. My mother was leaning toward only having one child. She ended up having two. She has four brothers. My father has three siblings. My stepmother is one of 15.
In my neighborhood, two to three kids is the most common. My kids’ friends typically have a sibling or two. It isn’t until I venture into homeschooling and local childbirth/breastfeeding groups that I start to see bigger families. As a birth worker, I see a lot of big families, but that has more to do with the specific “niche” demographic and is not representative of the population as a whole.
It isn’t until I venture into homeschooling and local childbirth/breastfeeding groups that I start to see bigger families.
Even this depends on the locality. I homeschooled each of my children through seventh or eighth grade, and we were involved in a couple of Christian-based homeschooling support groups. Contrary to the stereotype, most of these families were small. The usual number of children was two or three (we have three). There were quite a few only children, and not a single family had more than five.
But this is Southern California, where you have to be a solid millionaire to afford a house that can hold more than five or six people. Family size is are limited by the environment. I have friends who live in other states (Ohio, Georgia, Tennessee) who have 7+ kids, and they tell me that big families are much more common there.
Even this depends on the locality. I homeschooled each of my children through seventh or eighth grade, and we were involved in a couple of Christian-based homeschooling support groups. Contrary to the stereotype, most of these families were small. The usual number of children was two or three (we have three). There were quite a few only children, and not a single family had more than five.
But this is Southern California, where you have to be a solid millionaire to afford a house that can hold more than five or six people. Family size is are limited by the environment. I have friends who live in other states (Ohio, Georgia, Tennessee) who have 7+ kids, and they tell me that big families are much more common there.
I live in NorCal. There seems to be a mix of average sized and big families among the homeschooling groups I navigate. It really depends on the type of group. Here, a family of six is considered a big family. It’s rare to see 5+ in my area, though when I lived in parts of VA, NC, and GA, big families were more common. My family size is still an outlier for this area. It was the same when I lived in SoCal.
Even this depends on the locality. I homeschooled each of my children through seventh or eighth grade, and we were involved in a couple of Christian-based homeschooling support groups. Contrary to the stereotype, most of these families were small. The usual number of children was two or three (we have three). There were quite a few only children, and not a single family had more than five.
But this is Southern California, where you have to be a solid millionaire to afford a house that can hold more than five or six people. Family size is are limited by the environment. I have friends who live in other states (Ohio, Georgia, Tennessee) who have 7+ kids, and they tell me that big families are much more common there.
Ohio and Tennessee have a smaller percentage of the total population under age 18 than California. Total fertility rates are declining at a far greater rate at the state level than your specific ultra conservative friend group you know.
Ohio and Tennessee have a smaller percentage of the total population under age 18 than California. Total fertility rates are declining at a far greater rate at the state level than your specific ultra conservative friend group you know.
All I have to say is that your stereotype of people who homeschool and/or have a lot of kids as "ultra conservative" is considerably out of date.
Two of the three large families I know (each has 7 kids) don't homeschool at all, and the third only homeschools the little ones, then sends them to school when they get to about fifth grade. I wouldn't call any of them "ultra conservative."
All I have to say is that your stereotype of people who homeschool and/or have a lot of kids as "ultra conservative" is considerably out of date.
Two of the three large families I know (each has 7 kids) don't homeschool at all, and the third only homeschools the little ones, then sends them to school when they get to about fifth grade. I wouldn't call any of them "ultra conservative."
They must be wealthy to afford that many kids considering a number of sources that state current costs of $200-250K per kid from birth to age 18+
They must be wealthy to afford that many kids considering a number of sources that state current costs of $200-250K per kid from birth to age 18+
Pffff. Those sources are making a lot of assumptions about what people are spending money on and giving a worst case scenario. I really think they are trying to scare people away from having kids by making them think you have to be millionaires to raise a child.
Just for laughs, I looked up one of those websites. It says the cost of raising one child is $233,610 from birth to age 18. My kids are now 20, 17, and 15. So let's see how we managed with what they call the major expenses:
Housing. We're still living in the same house we had before kids, so $0 was for special housing for kids. Technically our kids must raise the electric and water bills a bit, but those bills together are only about $100/mo so I doubt we'd be saving a ton of money if they weren't living here.
Childcare. If you have a stay-at-home parent (we did) or other family members to watch the child for free, $0 is for childcare. We never spent a penny on childcare. Wait, I did ask a neighbor girl to watch my sleeping baby for a couple of hours once when Grandma wasn't available. So I guess I spent $20 on childcare.
Food. Supposedly a teenager (since this cost increases with age) eats about $250-$300 worth of food per month. For a family of five like ours, that's $1500/month. Guess what, our total food budget is $600/month and we easily eat well on this amount. So I'm calculating about $120 per child per month, or less than half the suggested amount.
Schooling--practically free from K through 12th grade. We didn't send our kids to pricey preschools; I was home with them and taught them at home for free for the first few years. My oldest is now at community college. It's under $500 a semester, since she is living at home. Second daughter is planning to go this route also. Don't know yet about our son.
Clothing--when they were babies and toddlers, we got a lot of hand-me-downs from family and friends as well as gifts from Grandma. I hardly bought a thing. I don't have any interest in clothes shopping, and babies and toddlers really don't care if they are wearing new clothes or not. Now, my daughters have been buying their own clothes for years. Starting around age 13, we gave each girl $50/month for clothes and just bought things for our son when he needed them, which was not often. Now both girls have part-time jobs and we have stopped the clothing allowance.
Transportation IS expensive for us, not the cars themselves (we drive older, used cars and have never paid more than $5000 for a car), but gas (...California $$$...) and car insurance for teens ($$$). Health insurance is also an increasing expense. But once our youngest is 18, which is three more years, I really doubt we will have spent anywhere near $600,000 or $750,000 on the three of them. That's absurd.
We have "3" but it's a mixed family. One each from previous relationship, and one together. But usually at holiday parties or bday parties and such, we are the only family that has 3 kids. Everyone else is 1 or 2.
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