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I just hung an antique blown-glass ornament on my Christmas tree. It represents Santa Claus, with a flowing white beard and red suit and hat, holding a small evergreen. It's likely German or maybe from the old Czechoslovakia, and dates back to ten years either side of 1900.
I doubt if all the true child-believers from that time, 1890 to 1910, were harmed in any way by their faithful belief in and awe of Santa Claus. Those children are long gone now, but the fragile but cherished Santa Claus ornament remains, and as long as I can, I will continue to hang it on my tree each year.
Actually before 1931, Santa did not look at all like the modern day image.
The Santa Claus we all know and love — that big, jolly man in the red suit with a white beard — didn’t always look that way. In fact, many people are surprised to learn that prior to 1931, Santa was depicted as everything from a tall gaunt man to a spooky-looking elf. He has donned a bishop's robe and a Norse huntsman's animal skin. In fact, when Civil War cartoonist Thomas Nast drew Santa Claus for Harper's Weekly in 1862, Santa was a small elflike figure who supported the Union. Nast continued to draw Santa for 30 years, changing the color of his coat from tan to the red he’s known for today.
This is something I think a lot about every year. My wife and I have two children, ages 6 and 3 (close to 4).
To give a bit of background information in case it is useful, my wife and I are atheists. Despite that, we are very into celebrating many of the secular aspects of Christmas, because we love the family gatherings, decorations, traditions, music, etc. This is partially because I have a very close family and enjoy in sharing in these celebrations with them.
When our oldest child was born my wife and I debated on whether or not to perpetuate the Santa myth with him. At that time we decided to go with it because we thought it was fun, relatively harmless, and because his cousins, who he would be seeing often, have Santa in their household. Now that he is older, I regret that decision.
Our son absolutely loves Santa, and he is mesmerized by him. He gets incredibly excited to see him in the store, talk to him, and has a twinkle in his eye when he goes to sleep on Christmas Eve. Part of me finds this endearing, but another part of me feels incredibly guilty about it.
I have a few main concerns, some short term, and some long term. In the short term I am afraid that when my son realizes that Santa isn't real he will be crushed. What I find more concerning are my longer term worries. I'm afraid that perpetuating this myth will erode his trust in the people he should be able to trust most. I am also concerned that we may be damaging his critical thinking skills. It is our goal to raise children who are skeptical and rely on logic and reason to come to conclusions. I keep hoping to see our son debunk Santa by using those skills, but it hasn't happened yet!
My wife and I do not go out of our way to make Santa seem real. We don't do Elf on the Shelf, don't send letters from Santa, and we do not leave any tangible evidence that he visited other than gifts under the tree. When my son asks how Santa does this or that, we turn the question back on him and try to have him think through it. We never give a concrete answer. I was hoping this would be the year where he might come to the conclusion that Santa isn't real, but it doesn't appear to be the case. I very clearly remember coming to the realization on my own at his age, but I guess he isn't 100% his father's son.
I'm really hoping that by next year he is over it. I feel like if he is not by then, we may have to be proactive and figure out a way to let him down gently while still preserving trust. I didn't write much about his younger sister. She isn't nearly as enamored with Santa as he was at her age, right now I'm hoping she never is! I really wish we had told our children Santa was pretend from the beginning.
I'm sure others out there have faced a similar dilemma.
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It is simple. Santa gives children some thing understandable about the holiday until it doesn't. The way I explained it to my daughter, Santa is real for little kids and makes Christmas more fun. Once you grow up, keep the spirit of Christmas in your heart for your own kids.
It is simple. Santa gives children some thing understandable about the holiday until it doesn't. The way I explained it to my daughter, Santa is real for little kids and makes Christmas more fun. Once you grow up, keep the spirit of Christmas in your heart for your own kids.
This. We never experienced any "damage" or disappointment or anything negative at ALL when we figured it out as little kids. Neither did my son.
Let your son enjoy the magic of Christmas while he can. Stop overthinking.
I'm an atheist, too. I love Christmas decorations and music and parties and food.
Most of them aren't religious, so I don't feel it's a problem. Actually, I even like my neighbor's blo-mold nativity scene.
I don't think Santa is religious at all. He's about anticipation and surprises. Wonderful.
To me, the people who get angriest about Santa, Christmas and calling it a materialistic holiday are invariably cheap people who hate spending money on others. Hence, any holidays that involve giving presents make them angry.
To me, the people who get angriest about Santa, Christmas and calling it a materialistic holiday are invariably cheap people who hate spending money on others. Hence, any holidays that involve giving presents make them angry.
Well, we've heard from people who didn't get much from Santa who questioned why S. delivered expensive gifts to some kids and not so much to others. I think that was part of the reason behind my mother's hesitancy with Santa. Her family had to make up a story about Santa dropping a pair of mittens my grandmother had knit for my aunt out of his sleigh so she could go to church one Christmas Eve. That's poor, very poor. I think that was my aunt's only gift that year, too.
To me, the people who get angriest about Santa, Christmas and calling it a materialistic holiday are invariably cheap people who hate spending money on others. Hence, any holidays that involve giving presents make them angry.
Well I for one do think we have become too materialistic as a society. I enjoy the holidays because of the family gatherings and traditions, not because of the presents. It's one thing to buy someone a gift to show love and appreciation. It's quite another to do it because of obligation. Kids are different from adults in this respect. I do look forward to giving gifts to my children. It's so nice to see how their eyes light up on Christmas morning. Still, we have moved to a place as a society where children expect to see a huge pile of presents, and not just a few nice gifts.
I think your comment is a bit insensitive. I'm lucky enough to be in a position where holiday gifts are not a financial burden. There are plenty of people for whom this is not the case. They do feel that social pressure referred to earlier, and it can really cause someone a lot of stress if money is tight. I really sympathize with those folks. Growing up my parents weren't poor, but they were also in a place where making Christmas happen did strain their finances. They made Christmas special for us, but as I got older I definitely noticed the stress it put my dad under.
I don't think she was necessarily aiming that at you. If the shoe doesn't fit ....
I didn't think she was aiming it at me actually. I meant that it could be insensitive towards those who don't have a lot of cash to spend on Christmas gifts.
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Over thinking it
