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LOL, he's already gotten detention two or three times, usually dress code violations....no belt, shirt not tucked in (he goes to a private school).
We can discipline any way we want, we have taken away his phone, we could block his bank account (we had it jointly added to ours so we could watch his spending). We don't have video games so we can't take that away..
He would never say "not my job", he's not that kid, he's a good egg just LAZY and has no concept of time management.
I like where you're headed.....
Wait ... what? You added him to your bank account as a joint owner? So he can withdraw your money from the account if he wants to?
Mean mom went over pretty well, I wasn't really mean I just explained that it stressed us out that he was not consistently followed the rules which caused us to nag which we HATE. I explained what the non-negotiable rules were and are, that he needs to do them consistently (outlined daily, weekly and monthly chores along with expectations such as going out plans and having return plans made IN ADVANCE of leaving the house because my chauffeuring service is closed to last minute rides effective immediately). I also outlined consequences and just told him we were not going to nag anymore and if he doesn't follow the rules we'll just take away his phone or some other punishment. He took it pretty well and I congratulated him on becoming a real American teenager with the threat of being grounded and everything!
Wait ... what? You added him to your bank account as a joint owner? So he can withdraw your money from the account if he wants to?
I added him to my account as another account, he is not a signer on my account nor have access. He can't steal money (which he would never do anyway) but I could steal his
I would encourage you to try to connect him/get him involved in group/family activities with families that have kids his age who are good examples and not party fiends.
Yes an activity, something really cool like rock climbing, dirt biking or trail riding.
Pick something for a goal - keep reasonably tidy and do homework and
1.there's a concert you can invite a friend to.
2. We'll enroll you in a motorcycle safety course
3. Some local attraction: zoo, aquarium, axe throwing
Is there a local facilitator for the exchange program? They should be providing assistance here and there should be some specific guidelines for some of this stuff that both you and he would have agreed to by agreeing to participate in the program
I meant adult, as in how his future life will work out not as in today, I also don't know what IMHO means.
So the house rules are where the problem comes in, he just doesn't do them, period. We have a program counselor involved and the regional advisor, frankly we don't like them very much.....
We did not rat him out of the pot which I think was a good thing. Surprisingly we were able to come out ahead on that one after some lengthy conversations and arguments.
So what should we do, just draw a line in the sand and say do this or else? I hate ultimatums! Any good punishment options??
He's not your child to punish. Set boundaries, if he crosses them, he goes back home. That simple. Actions have consequences. Let him learn that.
What country is he from? Sometimes you need to take culture into account.
Maybe pot is legal in his country and he is used to smoking it with his parents or friends all the time and no one thinks anything of it.
I'm not saying it's right … I mean he has to respect and listen to your rules, but he is likely the way he is because of his environment where he came from. You can't really change it.
Also, most teens are lazy. My boy for example will leave his sheets in the dryer for 2 weeks and just sleep on the mattress without the sheet b/c he is too lazy to grab it from the dryer. He consistently forgets his keys and I have to leave the doors unlocked for him. That's teens. It's frustrating but they are not quite adults yet so we can't expect them to always behave like one.
What country is he from? Sometimes you need to take culture into account.
Maybe pot is legal in his country and he is used to smoking it with his parents or friends all the time and no one thinks anything of it.
I'm not saying it's right … I mean he has to respect and listen to your rules, but he is likely the way he is because of his environment where he came from. You can't really change it.
Also, most teens are lazy. My boy for example will leave his sheets in the dryer for 2 weeks and just sleep on the mattress without the sheet b/c he is too lazy to grab it from the dryer. He consistently forgets his keys and I have to leave the doors unlocked for him. That's teens. It's frustrating but they are not quite adults yet so we can't expect them to always behave like one.
There's a reason they call it parenting. These things wouldn't happen if you established rules and boundaries for your home and held your son to them.
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