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Old 12-10-2019, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
5,385 posts, read 5,769,411 times
Reputation: 13694

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dazzler09 View Post
Thank you for your reply I agree this is a good option and I should consider this massively.

Do you think I should attend labour?
You should respect the mother's wishes on who is at the hospital during labor. If she doesn't want you there, then don't go. The best thing for baby is that mom is not stressed and so you need to view it that way.

Going forward, you should determine what you want to do about this child - be a part of its life or give up parental rights so her husband can adopt the child. Either way, you should consult with an attorney as you do have rights.
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:55 AM
 
6,839 posts, read 1,851,496 times
Reputation: 5768
I disagree with everyone on here. Leave her alone. Let them raise the child. The woman is not worth having anything to do with. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Attend the labor? Are you kidding? She doesn't want you there. Let their family have a chance at success and walk away.
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Old 12-10-2019, 08:24 AM
 
8,372 posts, read 3,048,550 times
Reputation: 19173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dazzler09 View Post
Good evening,

Right by the name of the title you will all probably judge me as I shouldn’t be going anywhere near a married women which I totally agree with now, so please hear me out.

I met a girl at my work place we clicked instantly, I knew she was taken and at the time I was in a relationship also. It became to much for us both so we started sneaking off together after work and meeting pretty regular. I really did fall for this girl she has a son who I haven’t met by the way and as I perviously stated she is married. Anyway cut the long story short, I broke up with my girlfriend as I didn’t wanna betray her anymore as she deserves so much better than me and to this day now I feel so so guilty and probably deserve what’s coming. Around March time she fell pregnant (married women) at first we didn’t know who the father was as she still was sleeping with her fella but she told him it was his child, and for 7 months he believed this was his. About 2-3 months ago we got a prenatal paternity test done and the results came back as I’m the biological father and at the time me and her was delighted. We started planning our future together and how she was gonna break up from him etc etc. They actually did separate and lived apart and this was my green light so I left the flat I was in, went back home to my parents to save money and clear some debts and also changed my job as it wasn’t paying enough .... so few months down the line she tells him the truth about everything the affair the pregnancy everything, and honestly I cannot believe this, after he took it all in he still wants to stay together with her after all the lies and cheating and carrying another mans baby and letting to think it’s his when he told his whole family just don’t understand. And now she is telling me she wants the same and wants absolutely nothing to do with me. Also telling I cannot meet her for the MAT B1 form so I can give to work and this is from her words ... “I’m sick of the lying and I believe it’s not appropriate to meet” .... excuse me after everything we been through, all I asked for was a copy of the form so I can support you and baby. I cannot believe this and I’m in this mess this is what you get for crossing the line but still It’s pretty heartbreaking and disgusting by her, she led me on all this time for over one year we was seeing each other and now we are having a child and he will be bringing up my daughter and also he has told me I can’t go to the her house as he wants me no where near his son which I totally get but it’s still my child and I have every right to be there no matter the circumstances. To be honest I’m just so scared that they will move very far from me and I will not see her at all. The behaviour from this girl is absolutely mind blowing it’s like she is totally a different women but this is life I spouse, all my actions and decisions I made for nothing.

Hard for anyone to probably answer this but I’m really confused on what to do.

Do I go to labour with her? And support her which if I’m honest with you I don’t really want to as she is evil and doesn’t deserve nothing from me.

Should I speak to her husband? Even tho he probably wants to kick my head in.

I even thought if this is really what they both want maybe he can adopt her and then they can still have there “happy family” because the way I’m feeling right now I don’t want anything to do with this women anymore she has broken me completely.

Please don’t judge me on the last one but I thought deeply about it and yes it’s one hell of a decision to make but in a situation like this maybe it would be better for the child to brought up in the family and he to adopt her as I think things will get really messy and as i said I’m so scared to be not involved and it will kill me so if that’s the case then I’d prefer him to take full custody of her and let me live my life.

I have not made any decisions as of yet just wanted to hear some people’s opinions and thoughts.

Thanks for reading it’s a long one.
First of all...I think it's kind of funny that you're so blown away by her 'disgusting' behavior. It takes 2 to tango.


Second, how do you think being at the hospital when she's in labor is going to be "supporting" her in any way, shape or form? NO ONE is going to want you there.


What do you hope to gain by speaking to the husband? I think if it were me, all I'd want to know at this point, is who's name will go on the birth certificate. If it's your name, you will have some paternal rights, but also pay child support. If it's his, you could probably contest it I guess, but it'll be a life time of pain and bitterness for you.
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:20 AM
 
Location: North State (California)
49,321 posts, read 3,613,788 times
Reputation: 15531
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
I disagree with everyone on here. Leave her alone. Let them raise the child. The woman is not worth having anything to do with. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Attend the labor? Are you kidding? She doesn't want you there. Let their family have a chance at success and walk away.


If her husband is willing to raise the child, as his own, let them at it. Offer child support. Do not barge into the hospital, if she invites you to the birth, Ok, but if not, steer clear.
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:34 AM
 
1,253 posts, read 1,103,412 times
Reputation: 1852
From your spelling and mention of the MAT B1 form, you're apparently in the UK. In the US you'd have no legal rights regarding the child, but it may be different there.
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:43 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,925 posts, read 13,683,858 times
Reputation: 33546
You dropped your sperm in her, that's it. Leave her alone. That child has parents. Don't be selfish, and just go away. You got what you deserved. Let that child be happy with her parents and be glad you won't have to pay support.
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:48 AM
 
4,606 posts, read 3,099,607 times
Reputation: 9163
She wants to keep her family together. Walk away.

Go find a nice single woman to date.

Do not talk to the husband. Do not think that you will be invited in during her labor.
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:50 AM
 
Location: NJ
670 posts, read 221,600 times
Reputation: 2519
Quote:
Originally Posted by j7r6s View Post
From your spelling and mention of the MAT B1 form, you're apparently in the UK. In the US you'd have no legal rights regarding the child, but it may be different there.
Thats not true.


Laws vary from state to state. If you decide to parent your child you probably have that right. If you dont, you better sign your rights away because in 5 years when they divorce which they will, she will come after you for support.
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Old 12-10-2019, 10:26 AM
 
2,344 posts, read 1,833,713 times
Reputation: 4040
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
I disagree with everyone on here. Leave her alone. Let them raise the child. The woman is not worth having anything to do with. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Attend the labor? Are you kidding? She doesn't want you there. Let their family have a chance at success and walk away.
Agreed. It's already a DISGUSTING situation to have put himself and so many others---including an innocent CHILD and an innocent husband---in to begin with. But he sounds pretty delusional about the whole thing on top of it all.
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Old 12-10-2019, 10:33 AM
 
7,138 posts, read 3,373,216 times
Reputation: 18726
United kingdom allows for "biological" paternity to be established.
Unlike the USA laws that hold matrimony as the precedence of parental rights.

OP, I am old school. Where biology carries some weight in heritage. Sounds like your country land does to.
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