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This marriage isnt going to make it. She had an affair then left him now they are together. Its not his child. This is not a fairy tale. Abandoning this unborn child means that possibly this child will have NO father instead of the 2 she has now. When they get divorced the husband may have to pay for the child but he probably wont want to keep a relationship with the child that isnt his. So this child now has no father. Good men (no matter how poor their decisions up to this point) dont abandon their children.
I find it so bizarre that people are telling this man to walk away from his unborn child and pretend she never existed.
Impregnating a woman when she is married to someone else changes the rules. It is the wife and her husband's call on how they want to handle this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LO28SWM
This marriage isnt going to make it. She had an affair then left him now they are together. Its not his child. This is not a fairy tale. Abandoning this unborn child means that possibly this child will have NO father instead of the 2 she has now. When they get divorced the husband may have to pay for the child but he probably wont want to keep a relationship with the child that isnt his. So this child now has no father. Good men (no matter how poor their decisions up to this point) dont abandon their children.
Actually had a somewhat similar situation in my family. My grandparents split up and my grandmother got pregnant to someone else. My grandfather agreed to get back together, but refused to raise the baby (my aunt). My great grandmother and great uncle raised my aunt. My grandparents stayed together for awhile, but eventually divorced. This took place in the early 1930s.
Last edited by villageidiot1; 12-10-2019 at 03:14 PM..
Interesting way of putting it - absolves you of responsibility (in the wording you chose).
Not at all. "Fell pregnant" is a Briticism.
It's one of several differences between British and American English. Two countries separated by a common language, as the old saying goes.
Something similar is the way Americans say "Joe is in the hospital" while most British say "Joe is in hospital."
"Fell pregnant" has nothing to do with accepting or rejecting responsibility, it's just a usage difference versus the way we in the US say "got pregnant."
I disagree with everyone on here. Leave her alone. Let them raise the child. The woman is not worth having anything to do with. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Attend the labor? Are you kidding? She doesn't want you there. Let their family have a chance at success and walk away.
If her husband is willing to raise the child, as his own, let them at it. Offer child support. Do not barge into the hospital, if she invites you to the birth, Ok, but if not, steer clear.
It's HIS child. He has every right to be a part of the baby's life. The child will grow up and want to know who her "real" father is. I think consulting an attorney is the best route.
It's one of several differences between British and American English. Two countries separated by a common language, as the old saying goes.
Something similar is the way Americans say "Joe is in the hospital" while most British say "Joe is in hospital."
"Fell pregnant" has nothing to do with accepting or rejecting responsibility, it's just a usage difference versus the way we in the US say "got pregnant."
Whether or not it is a saying in Britain or elsewhere, the words have particular meaning.
Women do not "fall pregnant." That's not how it works. It's antiquated language, at least, and extremely irresponsible at most (and language shapes culture, so it's an important detail).
If the OP actually says and thinks she "fell pregnant," it absolves him of responsibility.
The proper, responsible phrase would be: "I got her pregnant." Because that's what happened.
Don't try to take yourself out of the equation.
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