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Old 12-10-2019, 03:11 PM
 
14,852 posts, read 4,556,594 times
Reputation: 4615

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
This marriage isnt going to make it. She had an affair then left him now they are together. Its not his child. This is not a fairy tale. Abandoning this unborn child means that possibly this child will have NO father instead of the 2 she has now. When they get divorced the husband may have to pay for the child but he probably wont want to keep a relationship with the child that isnt his. So this child now has no father. Good men (no matter how poor their decisions up to this point) dont abandon their children.
That's what I think will end up happening.
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Old 12-10-2019, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Northern Appalachia
5,426 posts, read 6,677,827 times
Reputation: 6534
Quote:
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
I find it so bizarre that people are telling this man to walk away from his unborn child and pretend she never existed.
Impregnating a woman when she is married to someone else changes the rules. It is the wife and her husband's call on how they want to handle this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
This marriage isnt going to make it. She had an affair then left him now they are together. Its not his child. This is not a fairy tale. Abandoning this unborn child means that possibly this child will have NO father instead of the 2 she has now. When they get divorced the husband may have to pay for the child but he probably wont want to keep a relationship with the child that isnt his. So this child now has no father. Good men (no matter how poor their decisions up to this point) dont abandon their children.
Actually had a somewhat similar situation in my family. My grandparents split up and my grandmother got pregnant to someone else. My grandfather agreed to get back together, but refused to raise the baby (my aunt). My great grandmother and great uncle raised my aunt. My grandparents stayed together for awhile, but eventually divorced. This took place in the early 1930s.

Last edited by villageidiot1; 12-10-2019 at 04:14 PM..
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Old 12-10-2019, 04:10 PM
 
4,602 posts, read 3,097,513 times
Reputation: 9158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Bizarre yes.

Yeah ppl are a skewed lot. Bash deadbeat dads' then tell the bio dad to walk away. Bizarre indeed.
He knowingly cheated with a married woman who already had a child.

He should've walked away months ago before this happened, but he didn't.

The family has reconciled, they don't need any additional pressure while trying to survive this infidelity.

I'm surprised you can't see the difference.
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Old 12-10-2019, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,350 posts, read 44,684,857 times
Reputation: 90654
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG View Post
I'm surprised you can't see the difference.
The wife wasn't thinking about "the family" when she slept with and supposedly planned a future with this guy.

I agree with LO28. It sounds like some people here believe in selective paternity.
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Old 12-10-2019, 04:59 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,925 posts, read 13,678,820 times
Reputation: 33546
Quote:
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
I find it so bizarre that people are telling this man to walk away from his unborn child and pretend she never existed.
It's the best for the child. Not bizarre at all.

Anything else would be selfish.
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Old 12-10-2019, 05:03 PM
 
Location: planet earth
6,165 posts, read 2,410,694 times
Reputation: 13671
She "fell pregnant?"

Interesting way of putting it - absolves you of responsibility (in the wording you chose).
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Old 12-10-2019, 05:54 PM
 
2,258 posts, read 825,668 times
Reputation: 4126
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
She "fell pregnant?"

Interesting way of putting it - absolves you of responsibility (in the wording you chose).
Not at all. "Fell pregnant" is a Briticism.

It's one of several differences between British and American English. Two countries separated by a common language, as the old saying goes.

Something similar is the way Americans say "Joe is in the hospital" while most British say "Joe is in hospital."

"Fell pregnant" has nothing to do with accepting or rejecting responsibility, it's just a usage difference versus the way we in the US say "got pregnant."
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:22 PM
 
23 posts, read 4,228 times
Reputation: 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
I disagree with everyone on here. Leave her alone. Let them raise the child. The woman is not worth having anything to do with. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Attend the labor? Are you kidding? She doesn't want you there. Let their family have a chance at success and walk away.

I agree with this 100%.
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:35 PM
 
1,417 posts, read 1,189,369 times
Reputation: 2278
Quote:
Originally Posted by evening sun View Post


If her husband is willing to raise the child, as his own, let them at it. Offer child support. Do not barge into the hospital, if she invites you to the birth, Ok, but if not, steer clear.
It's HIS child. He has every right to be a part of the baby's life. The child will grow up and want to know who her "real" father is. I think consulting an attorney is the best route.
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:46 PM
 
Location: planet earth
6,165 posts, read 2,410,694 times
Reputation: 13671
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBCjunkie View Post
Not at all. "Fell pregnant" is a Briticism.

It's one of several differences between British and American English. Two countries separated by a common language, as the old saying goes.

Something similar is the way Americans say "Joe is in the hospital" while most British say "Joe is in hospital."

"Fell pregnant" has nothing to do with accepting or rejecting responsibility, it's just a usage difference versus the way we in the US say "got pregnant."
Whether or not it is a saying in Britain or elsewhere, the words have particular meaning.

Women do not "fall pregnant." That's not how it works. It's antiquated language, at least, and extremely irresponsible at most (and language shapes culture, so it's an important detail).

If the OP actually says and thinks she "fell pregnant," it absolves him of responsibility.

The proper, responsible phrase would be: "I got her pregnant." Because that's what happened.

Don't try to take yourself out of the equation.
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