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Old 12-10-2019, 06:52 PM
 
17,586 posts, read 14,523,166 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Whether or not it is a saying in Britain or elsewhere, the words have particular meaning.

Women do not "fall pregnant." That's not how it works. It's antiquated language, at least, and extremely irresponsible at most (and language shapes culture, so it's an important detail).

If the OP actually says and thinks she "fell pregnant," it absolves him of responsibility.

The proper, responsible phrase would be: "I got her pregnant." Because that's what happened.

Don't try to take yourself out of the equation.
And in this case the words were explained to you, but for some reason you still do not want to get it.

Sort of like "that car is cool", well, it does not literally mean the car has a temperature that is "cool".
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:58 PM
 
Location: planet earth
6,169 posts, read 2,410,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boxus View Post
And in this case the words were explained to you, but for some reason you still do not want to get it.

Sort of like "that car is cool", well, it does not literally mean the car has a temperature that is "cool".
Except "fell" is not slang, and in this case, it is a very important selection of a word. It wasn't used by accident. The title of the thread is "Got a married woman pregnant," but then we see the absence of responsibility in the future explanation that "SHE" "FELL" "Pregnant" - like it was just some random thing that happened to her out-of-the-blue - or maybe her fault for "FALLING."
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,421 posts, read 8,959,289 times
Reputation: 6980
Default I agree with this

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
I disagree with everyone on here. Leave her alone. Let them raise the child. The woman is not worth having anything to do with. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Attend the labor? Are you kidding? She doesn't want you there. Let their family have a chance at success and walk away.
Agreed - the child will have a much more stable life. Hopefully, the mom learns something.
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:18 PM
 
2,272 posts, read 825,668 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Except "fell" is not slang, and in this case, it is a very important selection of a word. It wasn't used by accident. The title of the thread is "Got a married woman pregnant," but then we see the absence of responsibility in the future explanation that "SHE" "FELL" "Pregnant" - like it was just some random thing that happened to her out-of-the-blue - or maybe her fault for "FALLING."
This short discussion about the phrase may shed some more light on it. Especially the final two posts/comments there.

https://forum.wordreference.com/thre...gnant.1930395/

As one poster there points out, the phrase is more common in certain parts of England than in others, and it's certainly uncommon to American ears/readers. I'd equate it to the patterns of speech typical of, say, New England versus the South (the phrase "bless your heart" is a good example of that; a person who is unfamiliar with the regional difference will probably not realize that it can absolutely be meant as a put-down.)

I don't think it's fair to infer a specific mindset simply from the OP's use of one word/phrase that may be very common in his geographical region and/or family background without any pejorative context attached to it there. Even though you or I might instead say "she got pregnant" or "she became pregnant", it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with how the OP expressed it.

Last edited by BBCjunkie; 12-10-2019 at 07:29 PM..
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,360 posts, read 44,684,857 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Except "fell" is not slang, and in this case, it is a very important selection of a word. It wasn't used by accident. The title of the thread is "Got a married woman pregnant," but then we see the absence of responsibility in the future explanation that "SHE" "FELL" "Pregnant" - like it was just some random thing that happened to her out-of-the-blue - or maybe her fault for "FALLING."
No. This is not accurate, given the fact that the OP is British and it doesn't mean the same thing any more than "biscuit" means the same thing here and there.
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Old 12-10-2019, 08:57 PM
 
41,191 posts, read 16,327,238 times
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It was all fun and games until she got pregnant.

Perhaps she realized that raising two kids with the OP in the OP's parents' basement was a poor idea. Who knows?

But if she and the husband want to give it another go, I don't see where the OP has much to say about it.
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Old 12-11-2019, 11:09 AM
 
2,416 posts, read 1,707,240 times
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you don't need to go talk to them about the husband adopting the child. If you don't make a fuss, then the husband becomes the father automatically. there is no need for adoption. According to hospital & society, this is the husband's child. It doesn't sound like you really want to be part of the child but you feel obligated to be part of the child & heart broken because the dream you had of family is broken.

There is not going to be any issue now in this babies life because she will grow up with a mother and father (who is not her biological father but in all other aspect he will be her father). Now few years down the line, this women could be cheating again causing her family to break apart or the husband realize he can't love this child as his own. something issues could come which makes your baby's life harder few years down the line. That is when you need to step up. For that you need copy of the paternity test results & speak to a lawyer now to find out what are your options in future should you choose to exercise your right to fatherhood.

I highly suggest, don't mess up their family now. Don't force yourself to be involved unless you really want to be part of the baby's life. Talk to lawyer, watch from distance & step in if there is ever a need
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Old 12-11-2019, 11:15 AM
 
Location: planet earth
6,169 posts, read 2,410,694 times
Reputation: 13676
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBCjunkie View Post
This short discussion about the phrase may shed some more light on it. Especially the final two posts/comments there.

https://forum.wordreference.com/thre...gnant.1930395/

As one poster there points out, the phrase is more common in certain parts of England than in others, and it's certainly uncommon to American ears/readers. I'd equate it to the patterns of speech typical of, say, New England versus the South (the phrase "bless your heart" is a good example of that; a person who is unfamiliar with the regional difference will probably not realize that it can absolutely be meant as a put-down.)

I don't think it's fair to infer a specific mindset simply from the OP's use of one word/phrase that may be very common in his geographical region and/or family background without any pejorative context attached to it there. Even though you or I might instead say "she got pregnant" or "she became pregnant", it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with how the OP expressed it.
I read every word of the link you provided, and the responses agree with me - it is a term that is interpreted to mean an "unfortunate" circumstance to which the impregnator has relieved himself of responsibility. I could quote actual responses, but don't have time. It's all in there for anyone who cares to read it. It is a "pejorative" term, indicating blame on the woman.
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Old 12-11-2019, 11:16 AM
 
Location: planet earth
6,169 posts, read 2,410,694 times
Reputation: 13676
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
No. This is not accurate, given the fact that the OP is British and it doesn't mean the same thing any more than "biscuit" means the same thing here and there.
Not if you read the link that another poster included.

Words actually do have particular meaning in any country.
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Old 12-11-2019, 12:25 PM
 
10,487 posts, read 14,121,484 times
Reputation: 6580
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I think you need to consult an attorney so you know exactly what your paternal rights are, because you DO have some.

Start there, and that will help you know how to approach any future interactions with her and her husband.
True, but I don't think he lives in the US.


def get with an attorney.


great advice, Birdie.
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