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Old 12-09-2019, 10:01 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,491 times
Reputation: 16

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Good evening,

Right by the name of the title you will all probably judge me as I shouldn’t be going anywhere near a married women which I totally agree with now, so please hear me out.

I met a girl at my work place we clicked instantly, I knew she was taken and at the time I was in a relationship also. It became to much for us both so we started sneaking off together after work and meeting pretty regular. I really did fall for this girl she has a son who I haven’t met by the way and as I perviously stated she is married. Anyway cut the long story short, I broke up with my girlfriend as I didn’t wanna betray her anymore as she deserves so much better than me and to this day now I feel so so guilty and probably deserve what’s coming. Around March time she fell pregnant (married women) at first we didn’t know who the father was as she still was sleeping with her fella but she told him it was his child, and for 7 months he believed this was his. About 2-3 months ago we got a prenatal paternity test done and the results came back as I’m the biological father and at the time me and her was delighted. We started planning our future together and how she was gonna break up from him etc etc. They actually did separate and lived apart and this was my green light so I left the flat I was in, went back home to my parents to save money and clear some debts and also changed my job as it wasn’t paying enough .... so few months down the line she tells him the truth about everything the affair the pregnancy everything, and honestly I cannot believe this, after he took it all in he still wants to stay together with her after all the lies and cheating and carrying another mans baby and letting to think it’s his when he told his whole family just don’t understand. And now she is telling me she wants the same and wants absolutely nothing to do with me. Also telling I cannot meet her for the MAT B1 form so I can give to work and this is from her words ... “I’m sick of the lying and I believe it’s not appropriate to meet” .... excuse me after everything we been through, all I asked for was a copy of the form so I can support you and baby. I cannot believe this and I’m in this mess this is what you get for crossing the line but still It’s pretty heartbreaking and disgusting by her, she led me on all this time for over one year we was seeing each other and now we are having a child and he will be bringing up my daughter and also he has told me I can’t go to the her house as he wants me no where near his son which I totally get but it’s still my child and I have every right to be there no matter the circumstances. To be honest I’m just so scared that they will move very far from me and I will not see her at all. The behaviour from this girl is absolutely mind blowing it’s like she is totally a different women but this is life I spouse, all my actions and decisions I made for nothing.

Hard for anyone to probably answer this but I’m really confused on what to do.

Do I go to labour with her? And support her which if I’m honest with you I don’t really want to as she is evil and doesn’t deserve nothing from me.

Should I speak to her husband? Even tho he probably wants to kick my head in.

I even thought if this is really what they both want maybe he can adopt her and then they can still have there “happy family” because the way I’m feeling right now I don’t want anything to do with this women anymore she has broken me completely.

Please don’t judge me on the last one but I thought deeply about it and yes it’s one hell of a decision to make but in a situation like this maybe it would be better for the child to brought up in the family and he to adopt her as I think things will get really messy and as i said I’m so scared to be not involved and it will kill me so if that’s the case then I’d prefer him to take full custody of her and let me live my life.

I have not made any decisions as of yet just wanted to hear some people’s opinions and thoughts.

Thanks for reading it’s a long one.
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Old 12-09-2019, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,351 posts, read 44,684,857 times
Reputation: 90654
I think you need to consult an attorney so you know exactly what your paternal rights are, because you DO have some.

Start there, and that will help you know how to approach any future interactions with her and her husband.
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Old 12-09-2019, 10:43 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,491 times
Reputation: 16
Thank you for your reply I agree this is a good option and I should consider this massively.

Do you think I should attend labour?
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Old 12-09-2019, 10:52 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,351 posts, read 44,684,857 times
Reputation: 90654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dazzler09 View Post

Do you think I should attend labour?
Do you want to?? If not, no, I don't think you should. I also don't think you should go around calling the mom of your child "evil."

Start thinking like a parent instead of a jilted lover. Hatred and resentment between parents is not healthy for the child.
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Old 12-09-2019, 10:56 PM
 
1,375 posts, read 908,306 times
Reputation: 4991
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dazzler09 View Post
Thank you for your reply I agree this is a good option and I should consider this massively.

Do you think I should attend labour?
I would recommend contacting a lawyer first. My opinion is she is going to be dealing with enough delivering a baby without the stress of a ex lover being there along with her husband.
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Old 12-09-2019, 10:57 PM
 
1,375 posts, read 908,306 times
Reputation: 4991
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Do you want to?? If not, no, I don't think you should. I also don't think you should go around calling the mom of your child "evil."

Start thinking like a parent instead of a jilted lover. Hatred and resentment between parents is not healthy for the child.
Agree with everything BirdieBelle said
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:04 AM
 
100 posts, read 54,920 times
Reputation: 334
This is why affairs are never good. Like another poster said, get a lawyer. As far as attending the birth, that is going to depend on the mother. The birthing place is going to abide by their patients request and safety first.
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:10 AM
Status: "I believe in reincarnation" (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
12,177 posts, read 4,643,223 times
Reputation: 23562
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weenie66 View Post
The birthing place is going to abide by their patients request and safety first.
Yes.
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Redneckville, NJ
7,124 posts, read 10,425,029 times
Reputation: 3532
Definitely get a lawyer. You have a right to be part of your daughter's life.
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Central Florida
2,294 posts, read 2,861,001 times
Reputation: 9492
You definitely need to consult an attorney. Because the child's parents are married, the husband may be legally considered to be the child's father, and you may not have any legal right to interact with the child. It all depends on the law in your state.
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