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Old 12-20-2019, 10:41 AM
 
312 posts, read 70,022 times
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How long should an adult child be allowed to keep trophies, awards etc from various activities years ago on display all over the place especially when not living in the parents home. Or how long should the parents hold on to or store them? It's as much a theoretical question in that wouldn't storing or removing them be another step in the maturation process? Would the parent be considered as shunning their child if they take them down?
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Old 12-20-2019, 10:44 AM
Status: "I believe in reincarnation" (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
11,900 posts, read 4,581,636 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anononcty View Post
How long should an adult child be allowed to keep trophies, awards etc from various activities years ago on display all over the place especially when not living in the parents home.
If they aren't living with their parents and they are an adult, they can do whatever they want. They can display trophies if they want to. Why is this a question?
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Old 12-20-2019, 10:59 AM
 
312 posts, read 70,022 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
If they aren't living with their parents and they are an adult, they can do whatever they want. They can display trophies if they want to. Why is this a question?

They can do what they want but the parent here basically spoiled them. When it came to move the 'adult' even got upset the pictures were packed before moving day. That's why I think the issue should've addressed years earlier regardless of anyone's circumstances.



But as a matter of routine or recommended practice once the child stops living at home should their personal previous life go with them? Not talking about photographs. In some family homes their kids childhood is plastered all over the place until their dying days. On the other hand even when their child goes off the college alot of personal stuff goes into storage or their room almost right away. In the end that's the answer depends on the family I guess.
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Old 12-20-2019, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
7,846 posts, read 4,551,958 times
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If the adult child is no longer living in their parents' home, why don't the parents simply give the trophies and other childhood memorabilia to the adult child? Then the kid can decide for himself/herself what to do with it.

Parents are under no obligation to keep all of their adult children's stuff on display forever - but it does take some kids time to understand that now that they have a home of their own, Mom and Dad's house isn't 'home" in the same way that it was when they were little and actually living there. That's normal, but it's not a reason not to redecorate, just a reason to be aware that unexpected emotions may be stirred up by the process, and the now-adult kid may feel the need to talk about them.
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Old 12-20-2019, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Pacific Northwest
387 posts, read 172,706 times
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I know it was my parents decision to display my siblings and mine trophies and various achievements around the home. Personally I never cared about showing them off, I would rather throw them in a box or stuff them in a closet, but it was important and special to them so they stayed out. Once I moved away I didn't care nor did I even remember about them until my parents asked if I wanted them in my new home. Even now, I could care less about my sport trophies, but my husband insists we display them in our front room because he's proud of my past achievements.

Honestly I don't think there's much to read into trophy displays. Some people care and desire to display their achievements in the open as it's their right. Others don't care as much and sometimes will leave the displays to those who care more. I don't see it as a sign that someone isn't maturing or too stuck in the past. If a parent doesn't want stuff of their child's regardless of the content they should ask them to take it. I would think (yet I'm still surprised daily) that 95% of people would have absolutely no issue with trophies being taken down, most would take them back and some would even toss them aside.

By the time one reaches adulthood your items are your responsibility and if you don't like the way people treat your things that's your own problem. If there are added problems or hurt feeling about a trophy getting taken down or such then there are other issues at play besides a simple trophy that needs worked on.
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Old 12-20-2019, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,000 posts, read 18,431,888 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anononcty View Post
How long should an adult child be allowed to keep trophies, awards etc from various activities years ago on display all over the place especially when not living in the parents home. Or how long should the parents hold on to or store them? It's as much a theoretical question in that wouldn't storing or removing them be another step in the maturation process? Would the parent be considered as shunning their child if they take them down?
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
If they aren't living with their parents and they are an adult, they can do whatever they want. They can display trophies if they want to. Why is this a question?
I think that you may have misunderstood. The OP was talking about a 25 or 35 or 45 year old adult child expecting the parents to keep their (the child's) trophys up in the parent's house (not in the adult child's home).

Last edited by germaine2626; 12-20-2019 at 11:30 AM..
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Old 12-20-2019, 11:47 AM
 
312 posts, read 70,022 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aredhel View Post
If the adult child is no longer living in their parents' home, why don't the parents simply give the trophies and other childhood memorabilia to the adult child? Then the kid can decide for himself/herself what to do with it.

Parents are under no obligation to keep all of their adult children's stuff on display forever - but it does take some kids time to understand that now that they have a home of their own, Mom and Dad's house isn't 'home" in the same way that it was when they were little and actually living there. That's normal, but it's not a reason not to redecorate, just a reason to be aware that unexpected emotions may be stirred up by the process, and the now-adult kid may feel the need to talk about them.

I think that's where the mistake was made. The parent let the adult child treat their home as a second home and live there like when they were a child. They set no boundaries. But this well over 10 years after the fact. The child alway promised to throw stuff out one day but even moving stuff with in the house got the child upset. But again no boundaries.
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Old 12-20-2019, 12:15 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
31,169 posts, read 56,785,610 times
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We were clearing out some things and when our oldest daughter came over with the grandkids I told her that we had a box full of her trophies. She said "dump them, I don't want 'em." I guess for the millennials that kind of thing is not important. I still have a trophy from a car rally that I won in 1971!
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Old 12-20-2019, 12:18 PM
 
1,960 posts, read 1,034,257 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemlock140 View Post
We were clearing out some things and when our oldest daughter came over with the grandkids I told her that we had a box full of her trophies. She said "dump them, I don't want 'em." I guess for the millennials that kind of thing is not important. I still have a trophy from a car rally that I won in 1971!
Age has nothing to do with it. Its based on the individual.
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Old 12-20-2019, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,115 posts, read 23,708,442 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anononcty View Post
They can do what they want but the parent here basically spoiled them.
That may well be true but why is it your concern?
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