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Old 12-27-2019, 08:30 PM
 
16,469 posts, read 18,496,785 times
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I had to go back and look. Since we don't really do Christmas (their mom is Hindu and they celebrate Diwali in November usually). The first pictures with Santa were when my grandson was 5 and he is all smiles. His sister was 7 and she is smiling as well. We did see Santa at the mall before that, but they never did pictures.
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Old 12-27-2019, 11:56 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
6,111 posts, read 2,709,324 times
Reputation: 19262
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy View Post
Yes I agree; lighten up!

The whole world does not revolve around your child.

Most people are not bad people.

Some people are very bad people.

There is an advantage to knowing the difference.

I was taken to sit on Santa's lap & I loved it but when I didn't want to anymore; my parents were fine with that & they didn't force the issue. As a child 'on the spectrum', I wasn't a really touchy-feely kid & by the time I was 9 years old I was almost 5 foot 6 inches tall. Everything felt awkward. This pic was taken in 1977 & it was the last time I sat on Santa's lap. Can you see my body-language?



Awkward! But I like this picture. This was a nice & intuitive Santa. Look at his hands. It's like somehow he knew & he didn't touch me at all. I learned my own boundaries. By the next year I had entered puberty & unwanted attention from grown men had become a thing. Talk about creepy. This picture isn't creepy to me & Santa never has been.

Thank God my parents never made me feel like Santa was creepy.
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Old 12-28-2019, 12:11 AM
 
7,325 posts, read 2,658,087 times
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I treasure an old photo of myself sitting on Santa's lap. It was taken in the mid-60s, I think. It's kind of sad that something that is a Christmas tradition in many families, taking pics with Santa, now holds a creepiness for some people.
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Old 12-28-2019, 05:00 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,310 posts, read 21,393,878 times
Reputation: 26965
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Practically every kid pic I see on Facebook is with the kid screaming or crying so dumbo parents can get a picture.

It's asinine.
When mine said no, I didn't force the issue. She was 4 and she told me that wasn't Santa, that was a stranger in a costume and she wasn't putting her butt on his knee. That was the end of Santa photos for us. But then again, I don't make her hug relatives, or undress at the doctor's office (tried making her do that once, it was horrible).
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Old 12-28-2019, 06:47 AM
 
18,897 posts, read 24,303,733 times
Reputation: 36157
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
Yes I agree; lighten up!

The whole world does not revolve around your child.

Most people are not bad people.

Some people are very bad people.

There is an advantage to knowing the difference.

I was taken to sit on Santa's lap & I loved it but when I didn't want to anymore; my parents were fine with that & they didn't force the issue. As a child 'on the spectrum', I wasn't a really touchy-feely kid & by the time I was 9 years old I was almost 5 foot 6 inches tall. Everything felt awkward. This pic was taken in 1977 & it was the last time I sat on Santa's lap. Can you see my body-language?



Awkward! But I like this picture. This was a nice & intuitive Santa. Look at his hands. It's like somehow he knew & he didn't touch me at all. I learned my own boundaries. By the next year I had entered puberty & unwanted attention from grown men had become a thing. Talk about creepy. This picture isn't creepy to me & Santa never has been.

Thank God my parents never made me feel like Santa was creepy.

thank you for posting this .
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Old 12-28-2019, 07:54 AM
 
2,108 posts, read 797,768 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
When mine said no, I didn't force the issue. She was 4 and she told me that wasn't Santa, that was a stranger in a costume and she wasn't putting her butt on his knee. That was the end of Santa photos for us. But then again, I don't make her hug relatives, or undress at the doctor's office (tried making her do that once, it was horrible).

When I was little my parents did the department-store-Santa (and Easter Bunny!) photos thing every year, and I hated it. Wasn't given any choice in the matter until one year I threw a hissy fit while waiting in line and my parents finally gave up on the practice. But not before managing to making me feel as if I'd done something wrong/unreasonable for objecting ("look how nicely all the other children are behaving", "you're going to hurt Santa's feelings if you don't sit on his lap", etc.)

I also hated being told to kiss or hug relatives. As a result, I never inflicted those experiences on my son. My opinion is that if a child wants to have physical contact with a person, the child should be the one to initiate it. If not, he/she shouldn't be instructed or even encouraged to. Otherwise it's meaningless in terms of affection, and also sets a precedent in the child's mind that they are supposed to do what adults tell them in that particular regard. "No means no" should apply to even the youngest children as well as to older ones and adults.
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Old 12-28-2019, 08:28 AM
 
751 posts, read 201,729 times
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My kids sat on Santa’s lap as babies but at 3 and 5 when they saw him this year I noticed they just stood next to him. They did that on their own. I also am not sure Santa would want both of them on his lap.

I really don’t get the big deal with the Santa lap thing??
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Old 12-28-2019, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,395 posts, read 5,789,569 times
Reputation: 10305
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
When mine said no, I didn't force the issue. She was 4 and she told me that wasn't Santa, that was a stranger in a costume and she wasn't putting her butt on his knee. That was the end of Santa photos for us. But then again, I don't make her hug relatives, or undress at the doctor's office (tried making her do that once, it was horrible).
This I struggle with. What do you do when they need to undress for the doctor to examine them? Undressing for the doctor is not a normal thing here so it's only done when a specific examination is needed and twice my daughter has been asked to undress and said no and I've not pushed it but this is not ideal health wise.
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Old 12-28-2019, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
4,049 posts, read 1,845,755 times
Reputation: 5242
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
This I struggle with. What do you do when they need to undress for the doctor to examine them? Undressing for the doctor is not a normal thing here so it's only done when a specific examination is needed and twice my daughter has been asked to undress and said no and I've not pushed it but this is not ideal health wise.
Undressing for the doctor isn't necessary for all procedures, but it's not entirely unavoidable, either. And what constitutes "undressing", and where do you draw the line? Like, a boy taking off his shirt, so a doctor can check his chest with a stethoscope; is that "undressing" or no? What about a girl doing the same? Or a full-body physical, where you undress to your undergarments, which isn't much different than going swimming? Or procedures that require work on sex organs, like a hernia check (boy) or a pap smear (girl)? Even then, you're not fully undressing; you're only removing the piece of clothing that covers the body part to be worked on. And what if checking that body part is necessary to preempt or treat a dangerous illness? What takes priority: physical health or personal comfort/boundaries?

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 12-28-2019 at 05:49 PM..
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Old 12-28-2019, 05:50 PM
 
2,977 posts, read 1,139,702 times
Reputation: 7855
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBCjunkie View Post
I also hated being told to kiss or hug relatives. As a result, I never inflicted those experiences on my son. My opinion is that if a child wants to have physical contact with a person, the child should be the one to initiate it. If not, he/she shouldn't be instructed or even encouraged to. Otherwise it's meaningless in terms of affection, and also sets a precedent in the child's mind that they are supposed to do what adults tell them in that particular regard. "No means no" should apply to even the youngest children as well as to older ones and adults.
Yep- I've cheerfully handed little babies back to their parents when they made it clear they did NOT want me holding them. They get to decide.

I think I have one picture of DS with Santa and he's smiling. Pictures of little kids screaming on Santa's or the Easter Bunny's lap make me cringe. Why force them?
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