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Old 12-29-2019, 11:25 AM
CGQ CGQ started this thread
 
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Thank you! I don’t think that being gay is abnormal. I was seeking advise and opinions because I don’t have any experience with this and parenting is hard sometimes. I have a masters degree in special education but we live in a rural community with little diversity... and although I fully believe in equal rights for everyone and I am very supportive of the lgbtq community, I was not prepared for him respond to my son. And as with anything else regarding my children, I want to be their biggest supporter. It’s just in this case, I reached out because I worried I didn’t know how to beat support him. I think letting him lead the conversation is the best advise. Thank you!
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Old 12-29-2019, 11:35 AM
 
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I doubt they understand sexual orientation.

There is data to suggest some understand sexual identity.
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Old 12-29-2019, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,372 posts, read 44,704,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CGQ View Post

And as with anything else regarding my children, I want to be their biggest supporter. It’s just in this case, I reached out because I worried I didn’t know how to beat support him.
The things kids say don't always mean what we think they do.

You're jumping off on the gay tangent when he 1) doesn't know what sex is, and 2) doesn't know what gay is.

That's why it's best to let kids lead these kinds of conversations, and just ask questions that follow up on what they've already said, not introduce new concepts to the conversation. If a little girl says, "What if I don't want to marry a boy?" it's best to ask her who she would want to marry instead of assuming she's talking about homosexuality because she might just say she wants to marry chocolate.
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Old 12-29-2019, 12:12 PM
 
11,582 posts, read 16,697,404 times
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Sexual development goes in 7 years cycles.
Sexual orientation formation is done during the 3rd cycle - 14>21.

Will be challenging though, considering extensive propaganda in everywhere going on and picking more and more momentum. by the time your son grows up....
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Old 12-29-2019, 12:14 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 26,289,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
... If a little girl says, "What if I don't want to marry a boy?" it's best to ask her who she would want to marry instead of assuming she's talking about homosexuality because she might just say she wants to marry chocolate.
Heh. When I was that age, I told my parents I wanted to marry the dog and have puppies.

Just showed who I loved (and not too long later, that I didn't want to be a parent). And here I am at 66, never married, hopelessly straight, never had or wanted kids, and living with multiple senior dogs.
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Old 12-29-2019, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,610 posts, read 22,040,923 times
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A six year who wants to marry someone he is very close to is not talking about "sexual orientation" he is talking about someone he likes very well, and feels comfortable around, has fun with and safe like a best friend, sibling, teacher even mommy.
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Old 12-29-2019, 12:48 PM
 
Location: planet earth
6,178 posts, read 2,415,401 times
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Originally Posted by CGQ View Post
My 6 year old son told me last night the he wanted to marry his younger sister. I told him he couldn’t marry anyone in his family. He would have to choose a girl or boy outside of his family. He said he wanted to marry a boy. When I asked him about this again in the morning, he got excited and said yes, I want to marry a boy. I asked him if he wanted to hold hands and kiss boys. He looked puzzled and said „no“. I asked the same about girls. He got kiddy and said “No!”. I then asked what made him think he would want to marry a boy and he said he didn’t know what made him think that. I told him it’s okay he doesn’t know, yet. And once he figured it out I would love him all the Same, either way.

Does anyone have any experience with this? My son is mostly interested in typical boy things... dinosaurs, science and nature, playing ninja, digging in the dirt.. He chooses to dress in a typical boy style, as well. He’s currently in a phase where he has little interest in playing with girls... most of his friends are boys. So his Response did surprise me.

My question is, is it typical for children his age to have thoughts like these? I am trying to figure out whether I need to talk to him some more to make sure he never feels like there is anything wrong with him, if he is gay. But if that’s the case I also don’t want to push him too far and make him feel uncomfortable. Or is this just innocent talk of 6 year old who is learning about the different ways people love each other and I should just take it lightly and drop it?
Young children should not be questioned like this. He might have just said the first thing that came into his head and now the focus is going to be on your fear of him being gay.

I personally do not think a person makes a firm commitment to sexual orientation until teenage years (because in younger years there could be innocent experimentation).
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Old 12-29-2019, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Laurentia
3,177 posts, read 1,472,194 times
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At 6 years old, my daughter said that she wanted to marry The Wiggles and live in a big ship on the ocean

She is now 20 and came out as a lesbian 3 years ago.

From personal experience with friends that are transgender I do think that gender identity does surface pretty early though even if sexual orientation takes longer.
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Old 12-29-2019, 03:55 PM
 
1,576 posts, read 499,215 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Young children should not be questioned like this. He might have just said the first thing that came into his head and now the focus is going to be on your fear of him being gay.

I personally do not think a person makes a firm commitment to sexual orientation until teenage years (because in younger years there could be innocent experimentation).
I agree. A friend said her daughter identified as gay during six grade and is now straight.

With my own children, I never discussed their sexual orientation nor did I ever discuss my sex life with them. Boundaries are a good thing.
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Old 12-29-2019, 07:56 PM
 
Location: NYC
14,304 posts, read 9,558,982 times
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I don't think it matters, sexuality is biological. Even if you are forced to marry the opposite sex and you are biologically gay you will free yourself from your own conflict.
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