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Old 12-30-2019, 11:46 AM
 
4,473 posts, read 4,075,765 times
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As has been said, do NOT lead the witness! Let him be. Instead, SHOW him in your everyday lives tolerance of all peoples, gay, straight, trans, rich, poor, all races and religions, etc. If you have any opportunity to befriend families with a different background from yours, do so. If you have friends who are of different sexual orientations, that tells your children that you will accept them if they are gay, trans, whatever.

That being said, even in households which show tolerance, it's a very difficult thing for a child to believe that his parents would accept his being other than straight. As he gets a little older, about 12/13/14, make it obviously clear that you would love, accept, and support your children no matter what.
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Old 12-30-2019, 12:26 PM
CGQ CGQ started this thread
 
7 posts, read 2,772 times
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Honestly, I work very hard to tear down walls with my son and to let him know that he call talk to me about anything. I’m proud to say that we talk a lot about thoughts and feeling and that I am an emotionally safe place for him to come when he needs someone. In this particular conversation, I really don’t think any harm was done. He was excited and happy and hugged me before he went back to play with his brother.

As far as teaching goes... as with almost anything else, handling topics like these with students is much different than it is with your own children. It’s a different type of relationship and responsibilities of a parent are different than those of a teacher. I take both roles very seriously but they are not the same.
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Old 12-30-2019, 12:55 PM
 
13,935 posts, read 13,280,685 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CGQ View Post
My 6 year old son told me last night the he wanted to marry his younger sister. I told him he couldn’t marry anyone in his family. He would have to choose a girl or boy outside of his family. He said he wanted to marry a boy. When I asked him about this again in the morning, he got excited and said yes, I want to marry a boy. I asked him if he wanted to hold hands and kiss boys. He looked puzzled and said „no“. I asked the same about girls. He got kiddy and said “No!”. I then asked what made him think he would want to marry a boy and he said he didn’t know what made him think that. I told him it’s okay he doesn’t know, yet. And once he figured it out I would love him all the Same, either way.

Does anyone have any experience with this? My son is mostly interested in typical boy things... dinosaurs, science and nature, playing ninja, digging in the dirt.. He chooses to dress in a typical boy style, as well. He’s currently in a phase where he has little interest in playing with girls... most of his friends are boys. So his Response did surprise me.

My question is, is it typical for children his age to have thoughts like these? I am trying to figure out whether I need to talk to him some more to make sure he never feels like there is anything wrong with him, if he is gay. But if that’s the case I also don’t want to push him too far and make him feel uncomfortable. Or is this just innocent talk of 6 year old who is learning about the different ways people love each other and I should just take it lightly and drop it?
I would guess that it's just innocent talk. When I was a kid, I was watching a music video of a certain female popstar who I thought was pretty, and I clearly remember saying to my mom "I would go gay for her." Well, that was like 30 years ago and I haven't "gone gay" yet.
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:59 PM
 
7,143 posts, read 3,377,595 times
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I can't corner the age method that at 6..."all" of them understand xyz. In your case you are asking intuitively if we the folks who have zero interaction with your child can surmise his inquiry was a direct correlation to his future sexual orientation. It's an unknown .

Far too many factors will come into play as your child progress's in stages/phases.
Age six is not the time to package them. Aka:label.
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Old 12-30-2019, 07:48 PM
 
1,586 posts, read 504,509 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CGQ View Post
Honestly, I work very hard to tear down walls with my son and to let him know that he call talk to me about anything. I’m proud to say that we talk a lot about thoughts and feeling and that I am an emotionally safe place for him to come when he needs someone. In this particular conversation, I really don’t think any harm was done. He was excited and happy and hugged me before he went back to play with his brother.
As a mom of twenty something kids, remember boundaries are important. You are his parent, not his friend.
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Old 12-30-2019, 08:33 PM
 
1,096 posts, read 1,383,826 times
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Apparently the topic of homosexuality reaches the brain computer of everyone. Possibly because we're not completely okay with the lifestyle or choice. At least not to the extent many suggest.

Candidly speaking, I'm not okay with the idea of a homosexual child. Certainly I would get over myself and love my child but the initial thought would be tough.

6 years young quite impressionable... many adults have a hard time with sexual orientation/ gender/ body dysmorphia.
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Old 12-31-2019, 06:37 AM
 
Location: Former LI'er Now Rehoboth Beach, DE
8,328 posts, read 11,206,253 times
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Relax, he is at the age now that in my day on the Little Rascals was called the "he man women hater's club". He is a boy and loves jsut what he knows. Girls are probably just yuck now. I would take what he says now with less than a grain of salt.
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Old 12-31-2019, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
12,095 posts, read 8,639,699 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You are jumping WAY ahead.

Let HIM lead the questioning from now on, because you are imposing all kinds of adult thoughts on him that he isn't ready for.
Agreed, it is against psychological principles to ask leading questions like the ones the op seems to be asking.
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Old 12-31-2019, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
15,013 posts, read 8,336,104 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CGQ View Post
Thank you for your helpful response. We don’t interact often with gay couples but we have certainly always been a vocal supporter of equal rights for everyone. We do have several adult cousins that are in homosexual relationships and our family has always been welcoming and supportive.
The world needs more people like you. I have a 7 year old and an 8 year old, both girls, in my life. I've also had 4 of the neighborhood boys in my life since they were babies. They're in high school and college now. One of the little boys wanted to paint everything pink. He now has a girlfriend. In all I've had about 17 kids in my life that I've spent a lot of time with, some with grand kids of their own.

If there's any advice I can give you it's to just let them be kids. No 6 year old knows what they want to be when they grow up. It's common for them to say they want to marry their mom or dad. For yours to say that he wants to marry his sister probably just means that he's very close to her, and that's sweet.
I've had a couple of them say that they wish I was their mom. That doesn't mean it's true. It's just their young way of expressing their warm feelings for me.
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Old 12-31-2019, 10:30 AM
 
27,403 posts, read 34,299,458 times
Reputation: 35286
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGQ View Post
My 6 year old son told me last night the he wanted to marry his younger sister. I told him he couldn’t marry anyone in his family. He would have to choose a girl or boy outside of his family. He said he wanted to marry a boy. When I asked him about this again in the morning, he got excited and said yes, I want to marry a boy. I asked him if he wanted to hold hands and kiss boys. He looked puzzled and said „no“. I asked the same about girls. He got kiddy and said “No!”. I then asked what made him think he would want to marry a boy and he said he didn’t know what made him think that. I told him it’s okay he doesn’t know, yet. And once he figured it out I would love him all the Same, either way.

Does anyone have any experience with this? My son is mostly interested in typical boy things... dinosaurs, science and nature, playing ninja, digging in the dirt.. He chooses to dress in a typical boy style, as well. He’s currently in a phase where he has little interest in playing with girls... most of his friends are boys. So his Response did surprise me.

My question is, is it typical for children his age to have thoughts like these? I am trying to figure out whether I need to talk to him some more to make sure he never feels like there is anything wrong with him, if he is gay. But if that’s the case I also don’t want to push him too far and make him feel uncomfortable. Or is this just innocent talk of 6 year old who is learning about the different ways people love each other and I should just take it lightly and drop it?
Drop it. Never understand why parents want to delve into this now at such tender ages. Stop trying to confuse them. Let THEM figure it out.
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