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Old 01-03-2020, 07:04 PM
 
Location: BBC
695 posts, read 86,485 times
Reputation: 576

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Beating? Goodness me, I hope not. I raised 6 kids, and beat not-a-one, but I did spank them when needed.


I see not a thing wrong with administering a good, proper, old-fashioned spanking when needed. Spanking, is not beating, it's spanking.
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Old 01-03-2020, 09:08 PM
 
1,417 posts, read 1,190,879 times
Reputation: 2278
Quote:
Originally Posted by xPlorer48 View Post
I was literally whipped with a police belt. It taught me to hate the abuser. That belt was laying on a couch on the way to my bedroom. It resembled a snake coiled and ready to strike. It also severely traumatized me: I was diagnosed as suffering from Severe Chikdhood Trauma and also PTSD. I still have nightmares about it. Please consider another form of punishment other than physical. Please don’t beat your kids.
Same with me. But, I was whipped with extension cords that left multiple welts on my body. This was a regular occurence in my home, and I was only 4 or 5 years old at the time. My mother was the offender and I think she just didn't like me. I'd get beaten for doing normal kid stuff. It's heartbreaking when I think about what was done to me. The adults in my life back then failed me. Nobody came to rescue me from that horrid treatment. Today, I'm a huge critic of physical discipline to children. The scars from my beatings are still on my body today. Spanking is cute compared to what was done to me.
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Old 01-03-2020, 09:27 PM
Status: " This is the way." (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: Staten Island, NY
174 posts, read 24,091 times
Reputation: 202
Everyone needs a good beating now and then.
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Old 01-03-2020, 09:29 PM
Status: " This is the way." (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: Staten Island, NY
174 posts, read 24,091 times
Reputation: 202
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovely40 View Post
Same with me. But, I was whipped with extension cords that left multiple welts on my body. This was a regular occurence in my home, and I was only 4 or 5 years old at the time. My mother was the offender and I think she just didn't like me. I'd get beaten for doing normal kid stuff. It's heartbreaking when I think about what was done to me. The adults in my life back then failed me. Nobody came to rescue me from that horrid treatment. Today, I'm a huge critic of physical discipline to children. The scars from my beatings are still on my body today. Spanking is cute compared to what was done to me.
My mother used to beat me with a loaded whiffle ball bat. It made a man out of me. Now I don't feel anything anymore and haven't for 40 years.
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Old 01-03-2020, 09:49 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
21,099 posts, read 20,021,104 times
Reputation: 36657
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
It really doesn't. It does not actually cause anyone to know what is actually wrong, or why it is wrong. As for unsafe, it really just kicks the can down the road. A teenager who fears their parent will simply turn to other sources for their "guidance" including peers. And if that does not scare YOU, it should.
Whether you call it fear or respect, the kid (in your case, a teenager) looks up to the adult for guidance. As a teenager, I was a little bit afraid of my dad sometimes, especially if I thought he was going to me mad at me and scold me. But I still would ask him for advice and I was interested in what he said and what he thought. You are so wrong in your assumptions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bale002 View Post
What is a parent's duty if not to provide for needs and help develop the skills for the child to become a functional independent adult, and what is the child's duty if not to obey the parent?


The word "beating" is related to "battery" which is a crime, in most jurisdictions. Of course it's not okay.

Another matter is spanking or otherwise using physical force, or some other kind of force, to impose discipline and rule on an undisciplined, unruly child.

We all love "research" and "studies" and "statistics", and to say "trust" and "respect is earned", and to apply to everyone else blanket statements based on our own personal experiences, and then insult those others when they express different conclusions based on different experiences.


Each human being is unique, every two human beings interact in unique ways and that dynamic usually changes over time. All outcomes are possible, from poorly skilled parents of children who become very productive, emotionally stable adults, to excellent parents of children who become deadbeats or criminals, and everything in between. And economic status too is an independent variable, it guarantees little or nothing.

Humans beings, like creation and life themselves, are more art than science. There is no single rule that works all the time. We do not know outcomes until after they happen. Sure, we can calculate probabilities, and it is prudent to do so, but anything is possible, humans do not always respond to stimulus in ways that the stimulator wants or expects.

But we do know that battery is a crime, so don't do it.

As for spanking and other uses of force, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. Sometimes the rational talk works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes the time out works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes taking away privileges works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes teaching by example works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes some combination of all the above works, sometimes it doesn't.


It is helpful to have a wide range of tools in the toolbox and artfully try to decide which is the right set of tools for the right job according to circumstances, and use it effectively.

Good Luck!
Well said. If they don't even know the difference between a beating and a spanking, how can we discuss this topic? A little bit of healthy fear that the parent will be mad at you if you misbehave, will usually stop you from misbehaving. And for some kids, getting the parent mad means the parent will scold you, for some it means you'll get privileges revoked, for some, you'll get a spanking. There usually need to be several tools in the toolbox to prevent misbehavior.

Nothing wrong with being afraid that your dad will be angry that you decided to burn the house down! You darn well should be afraid of what he'd think!
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Old Today, 09:23 PM
 
18,887 posts, read 4,700,881 times
Reputation: 6392
Quote:
Originally Posted by unknown00 View Post
Disclaimer - I am asian.
2-4 decades ago (1980s, 1990s), I would say beating your children as discipline was kinda sorta common and not abnormal. How is it these days in 2010s? Is it still common? If no, what changed in past couple decades?
Asking for USA
I think actual beatings were more common where i live now but it has certainly declined because it would be considered illegal and criminal child abuse in Texas in this day and age.I say this because i have a friend who is older me and grew up in a different time in Texas and his folks would of gone to jail with today's laws.ok:
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