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Old 12-29-2019, 10:27 AM
 
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Disclaimer - I am asian.
2-4 decades ago (1980s, 1990s), I would say beating your children as discipline was kinda sorta common and not abnormal. How is it these days in 2010s? Is it still common? If no, what changed in past couple decades?
Asking for USA
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Old 12-29-2019, 10:35 AM
 
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It is highly discouraged. Studies have shown that physical punishment is ineffective and actually damaging to the child and their relationship with the parents.
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Old 12-29-2019, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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"Beating" your children has never been ok.

Of course, people have different definitions of "beating."

I was spanked a few times, in the 70s, but I didn't spank my kids. I would NEVER beat them, and I don't consider what my parents did as a "beating."

I think what changed was the use of "time outs," even though I personally don't think many parents who use that method use it effectively, in the way it was intended.
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Old 12-29-2019, 11:25 AM
 
Location: The Midwest
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Thanks to research, we now know that physical punishment is not effective in the long run and is associated strongly and very clearly with a host of negative social, emotional, and developmental outcomes.

When you know better, you do better. Well, some do.
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Old 12-29-2019, 01:34 PM
 
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there's more of a social awareness ….less spankings... etc...
also a lot less kids....today compared to yrs ago..
and also consider 40-50 yrs ago 1/3 of the kids weren't on medication.....now they are much more mellow and act out less because they are drugged

also consider compared to 40-50 yrs ago the divorce rates are soooo much higher and if one spouse spanked their kid or left a bruise the other parent would charge abuse - two different houses
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Old 12-29-2019, 02:27 PM
 
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While there is more awareness of what constitutes physical abuse of minors ( thank you internet!). It hasn't produced a substantial decline in certain geographical areas. The Bible belt still encourages the spare the rod ,spoil the child. Schools still inject corporal punishment. Guardians still have poor skills in human interaction. It's a fine line for some to balance the physical infliction or restraint.

I recall back in the 1990's taking a parenting class. I desired to 'do better'. Imagine my surprise when the instructor encouraged physical harm to ensure 'obediance'. I simply could not invoke such. Weeks later from taking the course. Was given a survey of the course. I mentioned the positive points and mentioned the instructors advocacy for physical harm. The administrator called me and said. I must have been mistaken. Should have known then that the world was about to turn upside down and sideways in deflecting responsibility.
I made some poor reactions to my kids...not proud . And certainly don't support physical bodily harm.
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Old 12-29-2019, 02:31 PM
 
Location: southern california
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Better a beating at 8 than jail at 18
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Old 12-29-2019, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Canada
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I do not believe in beating ANYONE. IMO, a spank is not a beating.

A good swat on the butt is needed in some cases. I also think getting the strap by a principal on a child's hand should be brought back to the school system.

Children these days have NO respect for anyone because they have no recognition or learning from the discipline given to them by parents or teachers or anyone else (which is next to nil if anything at all) Sitting and talking to children is ineffective. They just tune out and repeat the offence or worse.

Go to a school yard and watch what goes on these days. Kids tell teachers to f-off, hit them, walk away, ignore them, trash their classrooms, etc. The teachers and principals do nothing.

Bullying is at an all time high because nothing is done.

Out of school suspension... re: sending them home as punishment is a joke. They sit and watch tv or play games all day while their parents are at work. Totally ineffective. It is sickening.
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Old 12-29-2019, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Roaring '20s
1,736 posts, read 442,222 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
Better a beating at 8 than jail at 18
It never fails. There's always an advocate for beating a child...

Sadly, it's ignorant because it's counter-productive. Study after study shows a link between children who receiving 'corporal punishment' (ie, beatings and the like) and higher degrees of violent criminality (including domestic violence) later in life.

Of course, the comeback is always "Well, they should have been beaten more!", as if the problem is that they didn't receive enough beatings.

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Old 12-29-2019, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Laurentia
3,152 posts, read 1,455,276 times
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Beating kids was never a common punishment though spanking was more common when I grew up (70's & 80's).

My parents didn't do a lot of spanking though I (and my siblings) did get spanked if we did something especially bad or had lied about doing something. The only time I got spanked by both parents was when I climbed a 70' willow tree and fell out of it. I got lucky and didn't hurt myself as I had grabbed various dangling branches on the way down but had been told a million times to stop climbing that tree.

I don't feel at all like I was abused by my parents and it didn't damage our relationship.

I used time outs and revoking privileges from my daughter as discipline. The worst thing you could do with her was take away TV or the internet and those were what I would do when she had done something to misbehave.

I only swatted her on the arse a couple of times, mostly to really get her attention. Once when she was 3 and ran towards the road despite me telling her several times to stay with me and the second time for trying to play with a wall outlet after being told to stop already.

I don't think that spanking is super effective if you use it all of the time. It should be for very rare occasions if it is used at all.

It's also important to give good feedback to your kid as well.
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