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Old 01-02-2020, 07:16 PM
 
1,750 posts, read 508,635 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Doubt it. These are her husband's brothers. Family, not frat bros.
Some people's brothers are the frat bro type... OP doesn't say whether these guys are trustworthy, so it could go either way.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr78609 View Post
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?????
Why buy a whole cow when all you want is milk? Neither sounds like a very nice prospect. Hopefully one buys a cow because one wants a cow, and the milk is a perk.

And, of course, if he is the only one getting anything out of sex and/or this relationship-- as that saying implies-- that's another issue entirely.


Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
I am not sure why a grown woman who is presumably an attorney at this point would even want to come home “far away” to a place where she is presumably not licensed. It makes no sense.
I'm not sure, either. If they break up, one or both of them moves to a new place. Why would anyone need to "come home"? (I mean, yes, I know of someone who lived with a long-term significant other and one day he said "I want to break up; I'm going on vacation for a week, be out of my house by the time I get home," but she went to stay with friends until she found a place-- she didn't go back to her parents' house.)

 
Old 01-02-2020, 07:21 PM
 
Location: SoCal
15,367 posts, read 7,350,851 times
Reputation: 12342
Forget about the cow reference, nowadays, cows want to be milked too.
 
Old 01-02-2020, 07:24 PM
 
4,431 posts, read 4,051,329 times
Reputation: 12613
Leave her alone. He hasn't done anything wrong. If she's tired of waiting for him to ask her to marry him, she should have a frank discussion with him about each of their expectations. She should tell him that she wants to get married (totally reasonable at this point. If his response is that he is not ready, she should MOVE OUT and MOVE ON if what she wants is to get married - because she's going to have to find someone else to do it with. And SHE should be the one to decide about all this.

By the way, I've been married for 25 yrs (and we were about 35 when we got married). I've always encouraged my husband to do things with other people, both men and women friends. Getting married is not a prison sentence. Your expectation that a married man doesn't go out without his wife is unrealistic and unhealthy. If it were the other way around, it would be called abusive and controlling.
 
Old 01-02-2020, 07:27 PM
 
2,134 posts, read 802,981 times
Reputation: 3927
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
Forget about the cow reference, nowadays, cows want to be milked too.

I was trying to think of a way to say exactly this, and you nailed it perfectly!

I have always hated that saying. It assumes that the living-together situation consists mainly of the man getting one thing in exchange for giving the woman something else (usually a better than she'd otherwise enjoy.)

Sometimes it's the reverse, actually. I know a couple of women who didn't want to get married because they didn't want to sign up for a permanent tour of duty; one of them wanted to escape the constant "so when are you going to have kids" nonsense that married couples get. Back in the day, that was NEVER said to an unmarried couple, LOL
 
Old 01-02-2020, 07:32 PM
 
5,156 posts, read 4,386,292 times
Reputation: 11202
Forget about the boyfriend and their relationship & concentrate on your daughter getting to the bottom of reason for her stomach pain.
 
Old 01-02-2020, 07:54 PM
 
4,866 posts, read 2,097,360 times
Reputation: 9695
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBCjunkie View Post
I was trying to think of a way to say exactly this, and you nailed it perfectly!

I have always hated that saying. It assumes that the living-together situation consists mainly of the man getting one thing in exchange for giving the woman something else (usually a better than she'd otherwise enjoy.)

Sometimes it's the reverse, actually. I know a couple of women who didn't want to get married because they didn't want to sign up for a permanent tour of duty; one of them wanted to escape the constant "so when are you going to have kids" nonsense that married couples get. Back in the day, that was NEVER said to an unmarried couple, LOL
Right- this makes no sense in this situation. The OP’s daughter is an attorney. She has skills and training to have a good career without a man. We don’t know anything about the boyfriend. She could have better career prospects than he has.
 
Old 01-02-2020, 09:51 PM
 
874 posts, read 211,010 times
Reputation: 1150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
Such a gross saying. The boyfriend isn't buying the OP's daughter, and it is doubtful he is getting anything for free. They live together, and most likely share in the household chores and expenses. A piece of paper does not dramatically change anything.
Hes getting something or he wouldnt be hangin around....Lets keep it real
 
Old 01-02-2020, 10:38 PM
 
15,822 posts, read 14,248,675 times
Reputation: 7176
Quote:
Originally Posted by Veryconcernedparent View Post
my daughter lives far away she and she’s 27 years old she’s been dating the same guy from the six years who is now 29 years old. The first three years of the courtship they lived in different states but she relocated to where he was early on to go to law school Now they are in the same city and living together for the last one 18 months and been in the same city for over 3 years.

She has questioned him in numerous occasions to whether he wants to ready to settle down since she is. And he said he will be but not quite yet but by next month. . However he behaves like a totally single individual not in a committed relationship. Example last night on New Year’s Eve she wasn’t feeling well they had plans to hear a band at a bar. He still want ahead without her and what she wasn’t crazy about him leaving her but asked for him to be home by midnight but he didn’t get home until 12:40 AM.

Last month he went away with his single brothers they ended up going to Miami for a “golfing” trip and to a very trendy Miami nightclub. He doesn’t act like this every day but he does act like a single guy and and it doesn’t bother him.

I am a single parent since her dad passed away several years ago. And I don’t I don’t know what to suggest. Moving back home she would have to find a new job but even if he does propose next month to marry him His behavior is troubling.

. When I called her yesterday she was crying on the phone and and I said to him please don’t leave her alone because she has not been feeling well she’s been having stomach issues the last couple months and the doctors haven’t been able to figure it out and. yet he went ahead and left her alone the whole evening he wasn’t even home until 12:40 am and he blamed it on the difficulty of getting an Uber.

Would you tell her just to come home and get a new job here or wait until next month to see if he fulfills a promise of proposal?

So she is in pain, having health issues and crying to you on the phone, because she lives with not particularly caring individual?
Tell her what she needs to hear from a caring parent, that these relations are not the end of the world, that you are there for her, and if she feels like coming home to you, she is always welcome.
No pressure, she can decide herself whether she wants to stay in these relations or not, but - again - you are there for her if she needs you.
 
Old 01-02-2020, 10:48 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,212 posts, read 44,551,962 times
Reputation: 90387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post

A piece of paper does not dramatically change anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post

No, it really does not.
LOL if that were true, people would have NO worries at all about getting one.

It's "just a piece of paper" exactly like a birth certificate, a social security card or a driver's license.
 
Old 01-02-2020, 11:03 PM
 
13,201 posts, read 8,071,099 times
Reputation: 25491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr78609 View Post
Hes getting something or he wouldnt be hangin around....Lets keep it real
A committed, loving relationship with a partner who treats him like an equal?
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