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Old 01-02-2020, 11:04 PM
 
13,207 posts, read 8,071,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
LOL if that were true, people would have NO worries at all about getting one.

It's "just a piece of paper" exactly like a birth certificate, a social security card or a driver's license.
So then maybe you can answer the question the other poster seems to not be able to... What changes are there in your day to day life once married?

 
Old 01-02-2020, 11:13 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,215 posts, read 44,551,962 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post

So then maybe you can answer the question the other poster seems to not be able to... What changes are there in your day to day life once married?
Those aren't the changes that "paper-avoidant" people are afraid of.
 
Old 01-02-2020, 11:22 PM
 
12,241 posts, read 5,083,621 times
Reputation: 15174
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Those aren't the changes that "paper-avoidant" people are afraid of.

What are the changes people are afraid of?
 
Old 01-02-2020, 11:30 PM
 
12,241 posts, read 5,083,621 times
Reputation: 15174
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
Right- this makes no sense in this situation. The OP’s daughter is an attorney. She has skills and training to have a good career without a man. We don’t know anything about the boyfriend. She could have better career prospects than he has.

"The first three years of the courtship they lived in different states but she relocated to where he was early on to go to law school"


I can read this quote to mean either he or her was going to law school.
 
Old 01-02-2020, 11:36 PM
 
13,207 posts, read 8,071,099 times
Reputation: 25501
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I know BOTH of you know exactly what you're asking. Stop playing pedantic games.

Marriage is more than just a piece of paper, because if it weren't everyone would do it.
No, honestly I do not know what you think changes in the day to day aspects of a relationship once marriage happens. And since you are not able to say what it is, I don't think you know either.

When I go married, there was a lot of planning leading up to the wedding, we had the wedding, went on our honeymoon, and came back to our normal everyday lives. I don't know what magical thing you think happens once the "I dos" are said, but it wasn't anything I experienced.

Last edited by Sundaydrive00; 01-02-2020 at 11:47 PM..
 
Old 01-02-2020, 11:37 PM
 
12,241 posts, read 5,083,621 times
Reputation: 15174
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I know BOTH of you know exactly what you're asking. Stop playing pedantic games.

Marriage is more than just a piece of paper, because if it weren't everyone would do it.

Let's backtrack a bit. All we have here is periodic long-distance accounts from a mom and the assumption that the boyfriend is afraid to commit is pure speculation.



The "piece of paper" only really matters when you are attempting to end it but not nearly as much as real estate or children. You can get out of a marriage faster and easier than you can get out of a mortgage. Kids are what bonds two people forever. Most states have non-fault divorce. Without kids or real estate or significant difference in assets, you can file and be single in as little as 90 days in some states.
 
Old 01-03-2020, 03:25 AM
 
7,111 posts, read 3,348,528 times
Reputation: 18644
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
Let's backtrack a bit. All we have here is periodic long-distance accounts from a mom and the assumption that the boyfriend is afraid to commit is pure speculation.



The "piece of paper" only really matters when you are attempting to end it but not nearly as much as real estate or children. You can get out of a marriage faster and easier than you can get out of a mortgage. Kids are what bonds two people forever. Most states have non-fault divorce. Without kids or real estate or significant difference in assets, you can file and be single in as little as 90 days in some states.
or ....you can be single again by other less legal means. But they have to link the weapon to the crime.
Quicker in some ways...though I don't endorse such.


Yes in Legal terms a marriage is a contract. thus its paper. Assets commingled or dare I say not shared for the protection of one partners' estate.

OP- you haven't come back as I suspect it wasn't a real inquiry ....so when you do I have some simple advice on your daughters concerns.
 
Old 01-03-2020, 08:24 AM
 
954 posts, read 677,535 times
Reputation: 1046
I see nothing glaringly wrong. He came home approx. 30 minutes late in a city. She's 27 and has been with him for 6 years. He's 29 years old. That is young to get married in today's society. It's not the 50's or 60's.

He works. He doesn't do drugs, has no addictions, and hasn't been arrested that we know of. Sounds like a decent guy but he is not ready to get married. There's many couple like that and some even have kids. Yet they are committed like it's a marriage. In the courts eyes, depending on the state, they could separate and community property laws would take effect.

There has to be more egregious incidents for your daughter to warrant leaving him.

Unfortunately, some parents interfere and try to control their kids relationships too much.
 
Old 01-03-2020, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Surfside Beach, SC
2,385 posts, read 2,821,232 times
Reputation: 4929
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
"The first three years of the courtship they lived in different states but she relocated to where he was early on to go to law school"


I can read this quote to mean either he or her was going to law school.
I took it to mean that the guy was going to law school, because the mom mentioned that her daughter would have to find another job if she moved - no mention of having to change schools.

One post and no follow up - probably won't be back.
 
Old 01-03-2020, 02:42 PM
 
980 posts, read 582,382 times
Reputation: 4215
That's the other thing, it is never good for a woman to move to where a man is unless they are engaged. Yes, you can call this old-fashioned, sexist, etc, but it's just a fact you see in so many relationship woes.
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