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Old Yesterday, 12:58 PM
 
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If your middle-aged son/daughter was arrested and sent to prison for solicitation of a child under the age of 12, would you continue to have a relationship with them or would you cut them out of your life?

If you would continue a relationship, would you let them move in with you after prison, even though your home address would be listed on the online sex offender's registry since they live there with you? Would you be willing to fully financially support them for the rest of your life since such a conviction makes it almost impossible to find work?
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Old Yesterday, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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While it would be pretty incomprehensible to imagine either of my adult children doing such a thing, I will answer.

I (probably) would not "cut them out of my life" but I would never allow them to be alone with my grandchildren, great-nieces and great-nephews, neighbor children, etc. And, I would likely limit contact with them to the bare minimum, but they would still be "my child".

Maybe,I would let them live with me temporarily after they got out of prison. More likely I would help them find a half-way house or something similar (if they needed help doing that) and not let them live with me even temporarily.

No, I would NOT support them the rest of my life. But, I would not support any adult child for life (unless they were cognitively disabled) if they made poor life choices.

Last edited by germaine2626; Yesterday at 01:22 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 01:13 PM
Status: "The days are getting longer" (set 4 days ago)
 
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
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No.....time for them to fully face the consequences of their actions.
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Old Yesterday, 01:17 PM
 
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probably wouldn't completely "cut them out of [my] life"....(maybe simply because they wouldn't cut me out of their life, thus I'd have no choice).
But that's probably as far as I'd go with them...I'd absolutely NOT let them live with me, and it would be up them to support themselves.

that's really a tough question...I can only say what I THINK I would do...not sure though
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Old Yesterday, 01:19 PM
 
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They would have a lot of 'splainin to do before I made any decision.
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Old Yesterday, 01:48 PM
 
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Thanks for the replies everyone, much appreciated.

Germaine, hopefully your kids are exactly who you think they are. But sometimes you don't know what people are capable of until they do it.

tamajane, I am not sure what difference an explanation could make. There really aren't any acceptable mitigating circumstances for doing something like this.
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Old Yesterday, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CatTX View Post
Thanks for the replies everyone, much appreciated.

Germaine, hopefully your kids are exactly who you think they are. But sometimes you don't know what people are capable of until they do it.

tamajane, I am not sure what difference an explanation could make. There really aren't any acceptable mitigating circumstances for doing something like this.
My late husband was a trial attorney (mostly criminal defense) so I sometimes knew the additional details/facts/information in court cases that attorneys were not allowed to use/say at trial. IMHO, almost always the jury would get the correct verdict with the facts/information that they had, but sometimes it wasn't the whole picture. And, occasionally, people would out and out lie to the police and in court or completely misunderstand or misinterpret a situation.

Think of people who are exonerated from their crimes (rape/murder/etc) years or decades later due to DNA evidence or when additional facts or evidence of their innocence is discovered.

While, I think that tamajane was sort of joking, that is why a parent would want an explanation for something like that.
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Old Yesterday, 02:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
My late husband was a trial attorney (mostly criminal defense) so I sometimes knew the additional details/facts/information in court cases that attorneys were not allowed to use/say at trial. IMHO, almost always the jury would get the correct verdict with the facts/information that they had, but sometimes it wasn't the whole picture. And, occasionally, people would out and out lie to the police and in court or completely misunderstand or misinterpret a situation.

Think of people who are exonerated from their crimes (rape/murder/etc) years or decades later due to DNA evidence or when additional facts or evidence of their innocence is discovered.

While, I think that tamajane was sort of joking, that is why a parent would want an explanation for something like that.

Yes, if there is a discrepancy between what the person is charged with and what they admit to. But if the deed has been admitted and there is indisputable evidence, an explanation won't help.
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Old Yesterday, 02:21 PM
 
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I'd be done. No question.
I'd want to do worse to them than any court would...
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Old Yesterday, 02:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
I'd be done. No question.
I'd want to do worse to them than any court would...
I can understand that. Even if the arrest prevented an actual child from being harmed, the intent was there.
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