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Old Yesterday, 10:12 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,215 posts, read 44,567,795 times
Reputation: 90388

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post

I bet that would work well, but I would feel awful turning a happy child into a crying mess by depriving her of attention for two minutes. At least it must be for something very serious.
This ^^ is why you have the problems you have with her. Hitting Grandma IS very serious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post

I am happy with my way, hold her tight, look her into the eyes and say it is wrong. She definitely do not think that is funny. It was my wife who wanted to use timeout, because she cannot pin her down.I will tell my wife so that she can decide if she wants to do it or not.
Your way is making her spoiled.
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Old Yesterday, 10:18 AM
 
5,608 posts, read 6,919,081 times
Reputation: 9247
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
This ^^ is why you have the problems you have with her. Hitting Grandma IS very serious.



Your way is making her spoiled.

BINGO! We have a winner! See how this works out for you when she's 10, 13, 16...
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Old Yesterday, 10:21 AM
 
12,847 posts, read 5,153,444 times
Reputation: 31124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
I bet that would work well, but I would feel awful turning a happy child into a crying mess by depriving her of attention for two minutes. At least it must be for something very serious.

I am happy with my way, hold her tight, look her into the eyes and say it is wrong. She definitely do not think that is funny. It was my wife who wanted to use timeout, because she cannot pin her down.I will tell my wife so that she can decide if she wants to do it or not.
You've kind of changed what you're saying, Camlon.

If you've got a method to make her understand you mean business, and it's not funny, and not to repeat the same offense just to be treated to the "punishment", that's what you should be doing.

If she wants to avoid being held until she relents and is still, so she then won't go back and repeat the same behavior, you're doing it right.

But I wouldn't use the timeout chair again. She likes it, and after you all laughed about it, it completely lost its power.

What I did with my kids when they did something like that, was get at their level, look very disappointed, and say "No sir, we do not hit grandma. (Remove child from room and continue). Did you see how grandma looked at you when you did that? It hurt her feelings. She loves you very much and that was really rude. When we go back into the room I want you to hug her and tell her you didn't mean to hurt her feelings". And if she sheds a few tears in the process, it's ok. She's learning.
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Old Yesterday, 10:29 AM
 
3,389 posts, read 2,829,828 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
You've kind of changed what you're saying, Camlon.

If you've got a method to make her understand you mean business, and it's not funny, and not to repeat the same offense just to be treated to the "punishment", that's what you should be doing.

If she wants to avoid being held until she relents and is still, so she then won't go back and repeat the same behavior, you're doing it right.
This was not meant as a serious thread asking for advice, just a funny story about how I failed using the time out chair. I also wanted some advice on how to do it correctly, which I got.

My method works well, she does not repeat the behaviour. I am not planning to switch it out, even if some people here try to scare me that she would turn horrible when she is 10.

Here it is not normal to send kids to kindergarden before they are 3. I think the main problem is that grandma, who takes care of her while I work, ignores her if she hits.

Last edited by Camlon; Yesterday at 10:38 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 10:39 AM
 
5,608 posts, read 6,919,081 times
Reputation: 9247
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
This was not meant as a serious thread asking for advice, just a funny story about how I failed using the time out chair. I also wanted some advice on how to do it correctly, which I got.

My method works well, she does not repeat the behaviour. I am not planning to switch it out, even if some people here try to scare me that she would turn horrible when she is 10.

Here it is not normal to send kids to kindergarden before they are 3. I think the main problem is that grandma, who takes care of her while I work, ignores her if she hits.
Do you mean preschool? Because in my state, kids can't even legally start kindergarten until they are 5. Some states have age cutoffs that allow kids to start when they are 4, if they turn five before November 1st, but no state even allows 3 year olds in kindergarten.
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Old Yesterday, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,215 posts, read 44,567,795 times
Reputation: 90388
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
This was not meant as a serious thread asking for advice, just a funny story about how I failed using the time out chair. I also wanted some advice on how to do it correctly, which I got.

My method works well, she does not repeat the behaviour. I am not planning to switch it out, even if some people here try to scare me that she would turn horrible when she is 10.

Here it is not normal to send kids to kindergarden before they are 3. I think the main problem is that grandma, who takes care of her while I work, ignores her if she hits.
What you're teaching your daughter is that if she does something wrong, she gets cuddled by Dad. That's a reward, not punishment.
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Old Yesterday, 10:39 AM
 
1,603 posts, read 521,918 times
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Your thread reminds me why so many kids today are spoiled brats.
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Old Yesterday, 10:43 AM
 
3,389 posts, read 2,829,828 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
This ^^ is why you have the problems you have with her. Hitting Grandma IS very serious.

Your way is making her spoiled.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
BINGO! We have a winner! See how this works out for you when she's 10, 13, 16...
You two should have a discussion with some of the parents in my home country Norway.

People in Norway has been told that it is wrong to even say "No" to their kids, and discipline is frown upon. Its quite a recent trend and you might see it coming to the US soon. And not suprisingly, if you go to Norwegian forums it is filled with Norwegians complaining about out of control kids, who does not care about their explanations and who does things that are much worse hitting someone lightly.
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Old Yesterday, 10:48 AM
 
3,389 posts, read 2,829,828 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
What you're teaching your daughter is that if she does something wrong, she gets cuddled by Dad. That's a reward, not punishment.
I do not cuddle her when I punish her. A lot of times she will cry, not sure how that is a reward.

I get that you hate those parents who never control their kids, but you are attacking the wrong person.
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Old Yesterday, 10:54 AM
 
3,389 posts, read 2,829,828 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
Do you mean preschool? Because in my state, kids can't even legally start kindergarten until they are 5. Some states have age cutoffs that allow kids to start when they are 4, if they turn five before November 1st, but no state even allows 3 year olds in kindergarten.
I do not live in the US (or Norway). Here they start kindergarden at 3, preschool at 5, and primary school at 6.
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