U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 01-05-2020, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,252 posts, read 44,584,895 times
Reputation: 90430

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
I get that you hate those parents who never control their kids, but you are attacking the wrong person.
Accountability often feels like an attack when you're not ready to acknowledge how YOUR behavior harms others.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-05-2020, 11:16 AM
 
3,389 posts, read 2,831,110 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Accountability often feels like an attack when you're not ready to acknowledge how YOUR behavior harms others.
You said
"What you're teaching your daughter is that if she does something wrong, she gets cuddled by Dad."

I never said that and I do not do that. I am not accountable for things I do not do. I think you should think about how how YOUR behavior harms others.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-05-2020, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,252 posts, read 44,584,895 times
Reputation: 90430
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
You said
"What you're teaching your daughter is that if she does something wrong, she gets cuddled by Dad."

I never said that and I do not do that. I am not accountable for things I do not do.
But using disciplinary techniques incorrectly and laughing when she misbehaves are not good parenting choices.

Two-year-olds are tough, but in my experience they are not as hard to manage as 3-year-olds, and they are a cakewalk compared to 14-year-olds.

So you need to get a grip NOW. If you don't think Grandma is adequately supporting your parenting style, you may need to look for a non-family babysitter.

Either way, you and your wife HAVE to be on the same page or your daughter will quickly learn to play the two of you against each other.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-05-2020, 11:29 AM
 
3,389 posts, read 2,831,110 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
But using disciplinary techniques incorrectly and laughing when she misbehaves are not good parenting choices.
Except I never laughed when she misbehaved. If you back and read what I wrote, I only laughed when she did not misbehave, but wanted to get a timeout anyway because she accidently hit me with her elbow.

Yes I clearly used the timeout wrong, but it happened one time when I was tried something new. You never do anything wrong?

Also, the teenage problem is more of an American thing and it has a lot to do with the environment. Here, 14 year olds are a cakewalk compared to 3 year olds. The school system put them in place.


Quote:
So you need to get a grip NOW. If you don't think Grandma is adequately supporting your parenting style, you may need to look for a non-family babysitter.
I think she does a good job, at least much better than what an average babysitter would do.

Also, you cannot do that here. That would be a deep insult.

Quote:
Either way, you and your wife HAVE to be on the same page or your daughter will quickly learn to play the two of you against each other.
Of course we are on the same page.

Last edited by Camlon; 01-05-2020 at 11:38 AM..
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-05-2020, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,048 posts, read 18,466,556 times
Reputation: 44863
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
(snip) I think the main problem is that grandma, who takes care of her while I work, ignores her if she hits.
And, how is ignoring the hitting working out for Grandma? It does not seem to be eliminating the hitting.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-05-2020, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,252 posts, read 44,584,895 times
Reputation: 90430
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post


I think she does a good job, at least much better than what an average babysitter would do.





Of course we are on the same page.
It’s time for YOU to go back and read what you wrote.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-05-2020, 11:56 AM
 
3,389 posts, read 2,831,110 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
And, how is ignoring the hitting working out for Grandma? It does not seem to be eliminating the hitting.
True, that does not seem like a very good strategy, especially since you cannot totally hide your reaction.

Its much better than before, and it only happens once in a while. I think if I keep doing what I am doing it will go away completely just like biting and scratching did.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-05-2020, 12:02 PM
 
3,389 posts, read 2,831,110 times
Reputation: 1776
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
It’s time for YOU to go back and read what you wrote.
Can you stop acting like you are in a battle?

If I did not express myself correctly, I am sorry. I have explained over and over again what I really meant, please respect that.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-05-2020, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,252 posts, read 44,584,895 times
Reputation: 90430
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post

Can you stop acting like you are in a battle?
Hahaha you're the one who brought nationality into it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post

If I did not express myself correctly, I am sorry. I have explained over and over again what I really meant, please respect that.
I'm trying to be respectful. It's not that you didn't express yourself correctly. You're now completely changing what you said in your initial post.

You said you disagreed with your wife's method, and you said you "think the problem" is Grandma and how SHE handles your daughter. Now you're back-pedaling on that, and we're just trying to keep up.

Of course I've made tons of mistakes. I had multiples first, and another baby after that. I'm trying to give you the benefit of my mistakes. One of the main things that stands out in your posts is that it sounds like you don't want to be "the bad guy" with your daughter. That is the first thing that has to change, because doing things that make her uncomfortable but are for her own good is a main part of parenting.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-05-2020, 12:19 PM
 
2,961 posts, read 2,258,084 times
Reputation: 2908
Don't be so harsh on 2 years old. They don't understand much at this age.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top