U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old Yesterday, 05:43 AM
 
7,115 posts, read 3,356,442 times
Reputation: 18678

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by saltine View Post
Let your son know that if anyone makes him feel uncomfortable, to tell you. Remind him again and again. Good luck.

Son: Hey Dad, remember when you said to tell you if someone makes me feel uncomfortable?
Dad: Why yes son I do recall that conversation.
Son: Well Dad, its you this time. Stop being so paranoid that every person Mom chooses to associate with is a criminal or somehow up to nefarious intent.

_ end of discussion.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old Yesterday, 05:55 AM
 
1,566 posts, read 1,203,134 times
Reputation: 5594
Maybe your ex wife has been involved with this person a lot longer then you are aware she has been.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 06:09 AM
 
4,877 posts, read 2,106,567 times
Reputation: 9706
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccc123 View Post
Maybe your ex wife has been involved with this person a lot longer then you are aware she has been.
I think it’s highly likely. The OP said his divorce was finalized a few weeks ago, not that the process started a few weeks ago. Divorces don’t take a week. They take several months, a year, or even years depending on the circumstances.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Holly Springs, NC
1,467 posts, read 839,858 times
Reputation: 2368
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
It might simply be that BF has known your ex for longer than you know, and that he is serious about her.
This was my thought exactly. Just because the OP met the guy 1 month after the divorce doesn't mean the ex has only known him for a month.

In any event, the divorce still stings and the OP feels a sense of jealousy. It is part of the emotions of the divorce.

Sure not trying to kick a guy when he's down but I have an issue with the lackadaisical divorce decree. Did you hire an attorney? What else is missing? Every state has it's own divorce rules so I would see what changes can be made. (i.e. NC has a 1 year separation mandate. If agreed to by all parties the separation agreement becomes the divorce decree, otherwise you plead your case in front of a judge).

Is the divorce 100% finalized?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 07:54 AM
 
18,597 posts, read 9,393,187 times
Reputation: 10931
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Son: Hey Dad, remember when you said to tell you if someone makes me feel uncomfortable?
Dad: Why yes son I do recall that conversation.
Son: Well Dad, its you this time. Stop being so paranoid that every person Mom chooses to associate with is a criminal or somehow up to nefarious intent.

_ end of discussion.
"Anyone" = anyone, not just "every one of moms associates" (mom must get around). Thanks for telling us about you , though.

Last edited by saltine; Yesterday at 09:09 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Toronto
562 posts, read 134,926 times
Reputation: 602
What is the custody arrangement?

Your main avenue is through the ex-wife. This is where being nice will win regarding your discomfort. You won't get what you want, but you'll more than you would being angry and confrontational.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 09:23 AM
 
7,115 posts, read 3,356,442 times
Reputation: 18678
Quote:
Originally Posted by saltine View Post
"Anyone" = anyone, not just "every one of moms associates" (mom must get around). Thanks for telling us about you , though.
You're quite welcome! Now let's clip those claws of yours. .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 12:18 PM
 
9,098 posts, read 2,650,384 times
Reputation: 10204
How long has your ex known this guy?

How well does she know this guy?

Those are your starting points. The answers make a big difference in how to proceed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Orig. Maryland. CA/TX.
652 posts, read 131,112 times
Reputation: 1186
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddnotez View Post
Not sure how to approach this one.

Was married for 10 years. Within 1 month after the divorce my ex has a new boyfriend and within a couple of weeks after that she introduced him to my 9 year old son.

After the meet, every time I went to pick up my kid the BF was there. To the point where I had to ask is this guy living with you? No, he's just there all the time.

So now the new BF is trying to do "dad stuff" taking my kid WITHOUT my ex to games and then they were going to build a computer together and doing all this bonding stuff.

So I have a major problem with this because for one she literally just met this guy, as far as I know and for 2 he is not my sons father, I am.

I am not ok with this but I am not sure how to approach this in an adult manner as I get very upset when I think about it.

Any advice?
What exactly is the problem? How strange of you to complain about a man wanting to be around your son. You should feel lucky, not trying to start crud with the ex.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Yesterday, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
10,106 posts, read 11,174,957 times
Reputation: 14184
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddnotez View Post
then they were going to build a computer together and doing all this bonding stuff.
Building a computer? How bad could he be?


Welcome to coparenting 101.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top