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Old 01-07-2020, 03:00 PM
803 posts, read 213,984 times
Reputation: 847


Yeah DH and I have tried not to make a big deal of things to him that are a big deal to us. We worry that if we tell him it’s bad he’ll be more intrigued by it and want to do it.

I don’t think that sending a note to a teacher about this is over the top. If it was my kindergarten classroom I’d want to know who was giving the finger. It should be on her radar.
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Old 01-07-2020, 05:37 PM
1,126 posts, read 318,002 times
Reputation: 2757
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post

But thanks for assuming my kid is now teaching it to others.
I know, I know. All of our kids are perfect little angels all the time
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Old 01-07-2020, 05:52 PM
Location: 500 miles from home
31,923 posts, read 17,611,449 times
Reputation: 24019
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
It’s just happening sooner than I thought

I remember learning about what a BJ was in the 4th grade from some girl who had older sisters. I couldn’t believe that such a disgusting act could possibly take place lol.

Seriously I learned bad things from other kids. But not in kindergarten.
I learned that if you haven't taught your kid about the birds and bees by third grade - they WILL learn about it from other kids.
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Old 01-07-2020, 07:04 PM
10,780 posts, read 8,827,479 times
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Just calmly tell your son that this is a rude gesture that polite people don't use. It's likely the other child doesn't comprehend its meaning, but got attention - negative or positive, doesn't matter - for doing it. Let that go for now and focus on your own child. The more you make a big deal of it, the more importance you'll invest in it and the forbidden fruit aspect will kick in.

So treat it like any other minor juvenile offense. Tell your son it's a bad thing, not to do it - and move on. Also he is not to blame for learning this from the other child, so don't punish him unless he does it deliberately again.

When I was a child, I thought the swastika was a neat design. I had no idea of the Nazi connection until I was around 11 or 12 and learned about WWII. Fortunately, I never decorated my school assignments with hand-drawn swastikas, and I don't recall my parents being aware of my interest in this ancient design. I certainly didn't draw swastikas any more after learning how they had been used by the Nazis. It sounds like your son's use of "the finger" is similar.
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Old 01-07-2020, 09:12 PM
11,825 posts, read 8,976,532 times
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Of course teach him it's wrong. There's a whole world of negative behavior he will need instruction on.

Part of your job, Mom!
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Old Yesterday, 05:42 AM
1,218 posts, read 1,917,767 times
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This happened with my daughter in 2nd grade. I told the teacher what happened the morning after I found out, not to tattle on anyone, but just to give her a heads up so she could be prepared. Not a big deal.
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Old Yesterday, 06:41 AM
803 posts, read 213,984 times
Reputation: 847
Apparently the teacher spoke to the child and his parents.

I agree with her doing that. If my son explained to classmates what the middle finger was i would want to know.
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Old Yesterday, 08:57 AM
Location: Crook County, Illinois
4,069 posts, read 1,857,037 times
Reputation: 5271
I'm seeing a whole lot of pearl-clutching in this thread. By age 6 (first grade), I knew all of George Carlin's seven dirty words. I rarely said them to peers, and absolutely never to adults; I had the social skills not to. When I did, it was usually as an interjection. But I knew them, all right. I knew the middle finger too, despite never using it. I grew up just fine.

Factoid: the dirty word for "breast" is also a small bird native to Europe.
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Old Yesterday, 08:58 AM
1,317 posts, read 754,190 times
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This reminds me of something that happened with my 6 year old recently. He has a huge interest in geography. He was showing my wife and I a map of North America, pointed to the northern reaches of Canada, and casually said "It's probably g** d*** cold up there". He had no idea what he said was inappropriate. My first reaction was honestly laughter. I knew it wasn't his fault and calmly explained to him why he shouldn't say that. The poor kid was really embarrassed. I think he was just trying to talk like a grown up. As far as where he learned it, I only needed to look as far as the mirror. It definitely sounds like something I would say after coming in from taking out the trash on a winter evening.
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Old Yesterday, 09:06 AM
Location: Florida
5,951 posts, read 3,919,872 times
Reputation: 11132
My kids are grown and nearly grown, and I can say that this is normal. We homeschooled and they still heard lots of inappropriate stuff from peers when they were little. That's just how it is, honestly. The teacher can only hear so many conversations on the playground, and once one kid hears a dirty word or sees a rude gesture, they all learn it within a matter of days (or hours!). Just tell him that it's not nice and figure you'll be having that conversation many times over the next 10 years.
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