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Old Yesterday, 09:11 AM
 
5 posts, read 655 times
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I also think it's quite easy to fix. Try to explain politely why he shouldn't use this gesture.
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Old Yesterday, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Haiku
6,285 posts, read 3,168,672 times
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The problem is not that the middle finger represents a bad word, it is that it is used as a form of aggression. Flashing it during a verbal dispute with someone is not a good thing to do. It is disrespectful and can escalate a disagreement. To me it is those latter things that are so bad about "giving the finger".
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Old Yesterday, 09:50 AM
 
805 posts, read 213,984 times
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I guess I feel like some of his innocence is lost knowing about things like this. It might sound silly but I just feel like kindergarten is so young to be shown the middle finger by another classmate
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Old Yesterday, 09:57 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,278 posts, read 44,614,535 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I guess I feel like some of his innocence is lost knowing about things like this. It might sound silly but I just feel like kindergarten is so young to be shown the middle finger by another classmate
It is!

This is one of the heartbreaks of parenting. There will be more.

Fortunately you can help your son manage this kind of thing by managing your own emotions about it. I had to work very hard, as some have mentioned here, to NOT overreact and just inform them that that is not a nice thing to do and then redirect, etc.

I believe that helping equip our kids to deal rationally with this kind of stuff is a better way to face it than the tendency to hide them from the world, try to keep them away from other "bad influences," etc.

If they don't learn how to deal with people who make bad decisions under your guidance, they are more likely to be blindsided when they get out on their own.

But it sure is sad to see them learning this kind of thing.
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Old Yesterday, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
4,070 posts, read 1,857,037 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I guess I feel like some of his innocence is lost knowing about things like this. It might sound silly but I just feel like kindergarten is so young to be shown the middle finger by another classmate
Childhood "innocence" is a modern myth. In fact, being a kid isn't even all that fun: you have early bedtimes, naps, food restrictions, cleaning your room, not having your own money, doing stupid homework, and so on. Perhaps a kid would be excited to know an "adult" gesture, since that's as close to being an adult as they can physically get.
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Old Yesterday, 10:03 AM
 
Location: San Diego
1,435 posts, read 512,906 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
I learned that if you haven't taught your kid about the birds and bees by third grade - they WILL learn about it from other kids.
Yep. Learned all I needed to know with my best friend John.

Mom telling me about the birds and bees wouldn't have changed anything, although I'm sure she's prayed about it ever since.
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Old Yesterday, 11:55 AM
 
204 posts, read 346,126 times
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I don't think it's a big deal. Your job as a parent is to teach him that it is inappropriate. You can't shield them from everything in the world.
When my oldest was 5, he came home from school and told me he learned a new word, F**K. When I asked him where he learned it, he told me "Joey D told us about the word on the bus". Most of the parents just set their kid straight and that was the end of it. The world kept turning.
My son and Joey D just headed off to college, both very successful!
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Old Yesterday, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
38,453 posts, read 47,341,083 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
This is nothing to clutch the pearls over. It's not a habit yet, so it's easy to fix. You tell him matter-of-factly that it's inappropriate and if you find out he's been doing that he will lose privileges. Problem solved.

The fact that you are freaking out about this (because a note to the teacher is kinda over the top, I'm thinking) is what's going to build his curiosity and the thrill of the forbidden for him.

Relax.
I agree. I’d tell my son that this gesture is not polite, and in our family we don’t do that.
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Old Yesterday, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
5,022 posts, read 3,958,781 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
If my son were 8 or 9 I figure he’s be hearing such things. But at 5 no. I’d like to know how a 5 yr old knew to teach another 5 yr old about this. I’ll never know but I’d be ashamed if my son was showing the middle finger in kindergarten. Thankful my son just showed my husband who told him it’s bad.
They're kids, and kids share things with each other including things that are inappropriate in polite company. How did a 5 year old know to teach another 5 year old to give the finger? Learned from an older brother or sister most likely. When I was married, we found a naked Ken and Barbie on top of each other in the 69 position in my stepdaughter's bedroom. My stepdaughter was 7 years old and the tableau was the result of a visit by a slightly older cousin who picked it up God knows where.

Why on earth would you be ashamed if your son gave the finger in kindergarten? Kids don't exist in a vacuum.
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Old Yesterday, 01:10 PM
 
10,440 posts, read 14,097,630 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
My DH said he noticed our son pointing his middle finger around. He ignored it but then he blurted out that a classmate showed him how to it. The boy apparently doesn’t behave frequently in the class

DH sent teacher a note but told her he didn’t want to tell who the kid is. I said he should tell her because she needs to tell his parents. I find it awful that a 5 yr old had seen this. I’m guessing maybe they saw it in tv. I recall my cousin giving the finger at a young age because he saw mr bean do it in a movie.

I’d be less suprised if they picked up words they hear. I don’t swear around my kids but i can see how it happens. A gesture is different. Most people aren’t doing this in their home to each other I’d guess. Maybe the kid has older brothers who showed him.

Either way I’m upset that my son knows this is a bad thing. Too early. Ugh.
I think this is awesome, lmao and probably the reason I don't have any kids
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