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Old 01-08-2020, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,973 posts, read 6,735,803 times
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It's much ado about nothing. I don't recall if I knew what that gesture meant at that age but I did know a few swear words. I knew they were "bad words" and inappropriate to say. Not a big deal, at all.

Here's the thing. Some kids have older siblings, and some kids probably have more permissive parents with regards to TV and movies. Consequently, often the oldest child is often the most naive and the youngest child is the most worldly.
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Old 01-08-2020, 05:43 PM
 
807 posts, read 213,984 times
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Default Re

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
I think this is awesome, lmao and probably the reason I don't have any kids
I do know some men who seem to find it funny when young boys swear. My uncle and his son find it funny that the kid who is now 11 would say words like ahole that he’d heard the grandfather saying while driving. I actually know a few guys who think it’s funny. Thankfully my DH is on the same page as me. We don’t want trash mouthed kids. I recall that the early swearers when I was growing up were the rebellious types who went on to do other things they shouldn’t be doing.
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Old Yesterday, 12:04 AM
 
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Kids are sponges. They observe things and pick up a whole lot from what they see in movies, TV shows, same-age kids, older kids adults, etc. etc. They try these things out as they figure out how to behave. It's not a big deal, but you are smart to deal with it in the moment and teach him what is right and wrong. Kindergarten does feel young- I remember feeling similarly when my preschool-age child was learning quite a few things from peers that felt really inappropriate. I used to teach Kindergarten (and other grades) and I was recording kids (with parent permission for a research project I was doing) working in a group, and I was shocked at the things they said to one another when I was working with a different group at the next table.

You can look at it this way: your words and teachings carry a whole lot more weight now than they might years from now when the influence of peers becomes so much stronger.
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Old Yesterday, 05:10 AM
 
Location: Roaring '20s
1,793 posts, read 459,194 times
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My wife teaches kindergarten. One day, she had a girl inform her that a boy said 'a really bad word'. When my wife asked what the word was, the girl refused to say it 'because it's too bad'. Then my wife asked her to say a word that rhymed with the 'bad word'. The little girl agreed.

The bad word was 'suck'.

So the little girl chose a word that rhymes with suck. The rhyming word starts with an f.

The point is, a six-year-old has heard and seen a lot more than you think they're heard and seen, even if they don't understand much of it. My wife teaches in an elementary school in nice, affluent, small city. And she brings home regular stories of children saying things that are wildly inappropriate, sometimes intentionally and sometimes innocently.

Not giving the finger is really just a matter of etiquette. We all have to teach our children all sorts of things that they should not do and should not say. If a child can be taught not to call his little sister stupid, not to make fun of the special needs kid down the block, and not to crack a fart at the dinner table, then he can be taught not to flip people off.

But guess what? He still might do it once in awhile. Because he's a kid, and he's exploring his world and sometimes kids push social limits and sometimes they do things just because. It's what kids do. That's not an excuse; it's just the real world.

PS - Just wait until your kids are old enough that they feel comfortable wryly telling you all the things they did when you weren't looking!
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Old Yesterday, 08:33 AM
 
Location: NJ
664 posts, read 217,708 times
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I am unashamed to admit that my 5 year old knows the middle finger gesture and quite a few dirty words, he has 6 older brothers, the oldest are 15. There are a variety swear words and gestures he knows. I am also PROUD to say that he knows that they are inappropriate and that using them is not acceptable. At least not around mom or teachers or adults in general.

My husband is also one of the men that thinks children swearing is funny. I dont really care for it much BUT my son and husband have learned that i dont like it and its not acceptable and moderate themselves accordingly. The only words that are never said in our house by anybody and is the fastest way to get yourself in BIG trouble are legit offensive words... the f word (not the one that rhymes with suck), the n word, the r word. The rest are just words.
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Old Yesterday, 08:41 AM
 
807 posts, read 213,984 times
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I was also upset when my kids learned the word butt. I prefer the word bum. I think butt sounds crass. But I even heard the gymnastics teacher say ok everyone sit on your butt. Some people don’t think twice about it. It’s better than ass I guess lol.

I tell my kids butt is not a nice word and bum is more appropriate. Or rear, hiney, tukus, fanny, behind. So many other words for it.

Last edited by Bridge781; Yesterday at 09:27 AM.. Reason: Add
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Old Yesterday, 08:47 AM
 
Location: NJ
664 posts, read 217,708 times
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What word do you say for their private areas since butt is so bad? Butt is literally the short version of the anatomical body part buttocks.
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Old Yesterday, 09:03 AM
 
4,585 posts, read 3,088,827 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I guess I feel like some of his innocence is lost knowing about things like this. It might sound silly but I just feel like kindergarten is so young to be shown the middle finger by another classmate
That's a sweet nice thought. But in reality, this is just one of a million opportunities you will get to teach your child what is acceptable and polite in society/your family and what is not.

There are certain words and topics that I don't allow in my home or around me that may be different than my son allows with my grandchildren. Some words and gestures are absolute nos, others are just not allowed out of respect.
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Old Yesterday, 09:28 AM
 
807 posts, read 213,984 times
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We still use the word pee pee for penis and vagina. My DH wasn’t comfortable using the actual words. I have told my kids what they are actually called but we just say pee pee. I mean I don’t know many 3 and 5 yr olds that go around talking about a penis or a vagina anyways.
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Old Yesterday, 09:38 AM
 
Location: NJ
664 posts, read 217,708 times
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Our children always used the anatomically correct word so thats at least a 5 year old who uses appropriate language for body parts. He also says nipples (if the need for the word arises). Its appropriate, its not offensive and is understood by all people. An adult who doesnt feel comfortable using the words penis and vagina...thats a WHOLE other issue. Words are just words and words that dont offend people are appropriate in almost all circumstances.

Children learn from their environment and now, your childs environment is outside of your control. Personally, from my experience, you should at least teach your son the anatomically correct words for his body parts. he may need the information. For example, my son said it hurts next to my testicles, where in my husband checked him for a hernia. If he just said my pee pee hurts, we may have been examining the wrong place.
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