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Old 01-09-2020, 04:04 PM
 
13,947 posts, read 15,058,957 times
Reputation: 11788

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
These kinds of comments ^^ are the risk of being vulnerable here.

This boy is the OP's oldest, of two, and she's going through what most parents who love their children go through as their innocence starts to fall away.

It should be no surprise that we ALL occupy varying spots on the spectrum of appropriateness, but that really doesn't give any of us the right to use our "spot" as a weapon against someone who doesn't operate exactly the same.

Kids aren't the only ones who grow up along the way. We parents do a lot of growing up too as we all go through these situations together. I think that's what the OP is doing.
My comment was not meant as a weapon or to wound the op in the least. Loss of innocence yes of course it’s fun for a kid to believe in Santa and a bit sad when they grow out of the stage. Once a kid goes to school there’s a loss of control to what they are exposed to. Words like butt and the finger are very mild in comparison to what kids tell each other. With every year they get more information and a great deal we wish they didn’t have. That’s why open communication even with words or deeds a mom doesn’t approve or that are uncomfortable are very important. As I said buckle up.
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
5,022 posts, read 3,960,271 times
Reputation: 9443
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
And omg I remember my parents getting mad at me for saying screwed!! My dad actually! I said dad the tv is screwed up. He was like what!? That isn’t a very ladylike thing to say. I had no idea what I’d said wrong.
LOL -- I had no idea why it was a bad thing to say, and didn't know for years after why I got in trouble.

Last edited by Vasily; 01-09-2020 at 05:07 PM..
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,307 posts, read 44,628,855 times
Reputation: 90552
Quote:
Originally Posted by hothulamaui View Post

My comment was not meant as a weapon or to wound the op in the least. Loss of innocence yes of course it’s fun for a kid to believe in Santa and a bit sad when they grow out of the stage. Once a kid goes to school there’s a loss of control to what they are exposed to. Words like butt and the finger are very mild in comparison to what kids tell each other.
Experienced parents know this. OP isn't there yet but is getting there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hothulamaui View Post

With every year they get more information and a great deal we wish they didn’t have. That’s why open communication even with words or deeds a mom doesn’t approve or that are uncomfortable are very important.
That's the ideal. OP will have to let loose little bit to allow for some humanity in her household. There has to be a happy medium between not liking the word "butt" and goading your kids from behind the camera to yell out "butt cheeks."
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Old 01-09-2020, 06:49 PM
 
2,436 posts, read 1,581,681 times
Reputation: 3352
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
We still use the word pee pee for penis and vagina. My DH wasn’t comfortable using the actual words. I have told my kids what they are actually called but we just say pee pee. I mean I don’t know many 3 and 5 yr olds that go around talking about a penis or a vagina anyways.
I taught my kids the correct names, as a few other posters have said. But not vagina-that's the part you can't see inside. I taught my daughter vulva. And they did use those words when they needed to and not when they didn't. They also knew many of the "cute" little euphemisms that people like to give them. I don't get that, honestly. Call it what it is. But I was never a fan of "baby" talk for younger kids. I taught too many kids who were still using those types of words later in school and getting teased for it.

We all have the words that make the most sense to us. I never liked the word "bum." And a bum means something else to me anyway.

I was pretty clear about the words that were appropriate and what wasn't. My kids were practically teenagers before they realized "stupid" wasn't considered to be a "bad" word by many. For years, that was the "s" word they would refer to. One of their big complaints in grade school was riding the bus with kids who swore all the time. Now older teens, one swears occasionally, the other two never really do. Dh almost never swears. I used to swear constantly, but I cut back significantly (to virtually none in their presence) when I had kids. Now I'm back to the occasional swear word.
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
4,101 posts, read 1,860,380 times
Reputation: 5281
Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceKrispy View Post
I taught my kids the correct names, as a few other posters have said. But not vagina-that's the part you can't see inside. I taught my daughter vulva. And they did use those words when they needed to and not when they didn't. They also knew many of the "cute" little euphemisms that people like to give them. I don't get that, honestly. Call it what it is. But I was never a fan of "baby" talk for younger kids. I taught too many kids who were still using those types of words later in school and getting teased for it.

We all have the words that make the most sense to us. I never liked the word "bum." And a bum means something else to me anyway.
My parents taught me to say "private part", not "penis". Which I actually liked. I felt comfortable saying it to all adults, regardless of their gender or role in my life. As opposed to "penis", which I wouldn't feel comfortable saying to my teachers, most of whom were women to boot. I still said the proper anatomical terms when talking to a urologist (who also taught me the word "genitals"), and I said [rhymes with "tick"] when talking to peers.

"Bum" is a British-ism that's also common in Canada. It was popularized in the US by Tom Green, a Canadian singer-songwriter and comedian. Google "Tom Green Bum Bum Song" [NSFW]. A sample from this song was later used by Eminem.

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 01-09-2020 at 07:21 PM..
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:23 PM
 
10,354 posts, read 6,814,899 times
Reputation: 19529
Quote:
Originally Posted by bridge781 View Post
i was also upset when my kids learned the word butt. I prefer the word bum. I think butt sounds crass. But i even heard the gymnastics teacher say ok everyone sit on your butt. Some people don’t think twice about it. It’s better than ass i guess lol.

I tell my kids butt is not a nice word and bum is more appropriate. Or rear, hiney, tukus, fanny, behind. So many other words for it.

smh!
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Old 01-09-2020, 07:41 PM
 
1,570 posts, read 1,204,051 times
Reputation: 5605
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I guess I just want to protect their hearts and souls. Isn’t that my job!?

I had trouble explaining what death was and it really bothered me when my son started using the word dead even if he was referring to a bug or a plant. It’s hard hearing your children learn these things. Also bothers me when he says kill about something on tv ( in sleeping beauty prince kills dragon/maleficent etc).

And omg I remember my parents getting mad at me for saying screwed!! My dad actually! I said dad the tv is screwed up. He was like what!? That isn’t a very ladylike thing to say. I had no idea what I’d said wrong.
For your sake you need to toughen up or the tween and teenage years are going to have you in the nuthouse.
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Old 01-09-2020, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,065 posts, read 18,483,917 times
Reputation: 44939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
We still use the word pee pee for penis and vagina. My DH wasn’t comfortable using the actual words. I have told my kids what they are actually called but we just say pee pee. I mean I don’t know many 3 and 5 yr olds that go around talking about a penis or a vagina anyways.
Actually, I know/have known quite a few preschoolers that know and use those words correctly.

If we teach preschoolers body parts, how is knowing the name, and using the name, of their elbow, or ankle, or shoulder any different than knowing the name, and using the name, of their penis or vagina (often used as a general term for both inside and outside body parts)? Or do you use made up terms/euphemisms for their elbows, ankles, shoulders, too?
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Old 01-09-2020, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,065 posts, read 18,483,917 times
Reputation: 44939
Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceKrispy View Post
I taught my kids the correct names, as a few other posters have said.

But not vagina-that's the part you can't see inside. I taught my daughter vulva
. (snip).
Me, too.
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Old 01-09-2020, 09:35 PM
Status: "Happy New Year!" (set 9 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
88,633 posts, read 104,981,334 times
Reputation: 34139
Quote:
Originally Posted by clawsondude View Post
You wouldn't being comfortable in my house lol. Instead of telling my young kids to say "cheese" to smile for a photo I tell them to say "butt cheeks". It gets a big grin every time.
That does sound crude to me. But hey, it's just me.
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