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Old Yesterday, 10:53 AM
 
788 posts, read 211,229 times
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My DH said he noticed our son pointing his middle finger around. He ignored it but then he blurted out that a classmate showed him how to it. The boy apparently doesn’t behave frequently in the class

DH sent teacher a note but told her he didn’t want to tell who the kid is. I said he should tell her because she needs to tell his parents. I find it awful that a 5 yr old had seen this. I’m guessing maybe they saw it in tv. I recall my cousin giving the finger at a young age because he saw mr bean do it in a movie.

I’d be less suprised if they picked up words they hear. I don’t swear around my kids but i can see how it happens. A gesture is different. Most people aren’t doing this in their home to each other I’d guess. Maybe the kid has older brothers who showed him.

Either way I’m upset that my son knows this is a bad thing. Too early. Ugh.
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Old Yesterday, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Orig. Maryland. CA/TX.
646 posts, read 131,112 times
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Yea that is unfortunate. That's the problem about being around other kids. My oldest daughter is 5 and she goes to kindergarten this coming fall.

Maybe have a sit down meeting with the teacher? Express how wrong this is an maybe have the teacher meet with the parents. Does the teacher punish or say anything to the bad kid?

I remember I did plenty of bad things in school but probably not until 3rd grade.

Anyway also have you talked to your child? Express that what they learned is wrong and not to talk to the other kid? Separate them.
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Old Yesterday, 01:01 PM
 
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I haven’t said anything about to my son yet. Kind of hoping he forgets about it. I haven’t seen him do the finger gesture. I guess we’ll see what happens next with that if anything.

The teacher has not responded yet. Curious to see what she writes back.
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Old Yesterday, 01:03 PM
 
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The more I think about it it’s almost funny that in our culture a gesture of the finger is so offensive. I don’t think there any other gesture that causes so much offense by whoever is getting it. It’s a finger. And swears are just words. But they are still considered to be offensive and I don’t see that going away.
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Old Yesterday, 01:44 PM
 
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The kid probably learned it from an older sibling or on the bus.

This isn't the last thing your kid is going to pick up on the playground or from a friend. Do tell him it's not nice and not to do it again. Otherwise perhaps he just thinks the way his fingers are positioned is cool and will obligingly flip off everyone he meets from the librarian to his grandmother.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilLisa83 View Post
Maybe have a sit down meeting with the teacher? Express how wrong this is an maybe have the teacher meet with the parents. Does the teacher punish or say anything to the bad kid?
"Bad kid?" Geez. The other kid is five. For all we know, OP's kid is already out on the playground, teaching the new "move" to everyone else. And due to privacy laws, OP doesn't get to decide on or hear about another student's discipline.
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Old Yesterday, 02:04 PM
 
788 posts, read 211,229 times
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No one takes the bus so it wasn’t learned there.

But thanks for assuming my kid is now teaching it to others.

I said I’m curious about what the teachers response will be

If my son were 8 or 9 I figure he’s be hearing such things. But at 5 no. I’d like to know how a 5 yr old knew to teach another 5 yr old about this. I’ll never know but I’d be ashamed if my son was showing the middle finger in kindergarten. Thankful my son just showed my husband who told him it’s bad.
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Old Yesterday, 02:10 PM
 
928 posts, read 245,696 times
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Can't help but think of Ralphie...."Schwartz!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KjxFDGFKhk
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Old Yesterday, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,270 posts, read 44,600,673 times
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It's very common. At this age, they know it's naughty, but they don't really understand the meaning of what they're doing.

"Other kids" will often be telling or showing your kids stuff you aren't ready for them to know. Most of the really difficult stuff I had to deal with happened well before I was ready, and I had to scramble to figure it all out.

Just wait till you're trying to monitor their solo internet use.

Go ahead and let the teacher know, since it happened at school, but don't expect any major changes or repercussions. This is an age-old problem.
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Old Yesterday, 02:24 PM
 
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It’s just happening sooner than I thought

I remember learning about what a BJ was in the 4th grade from some girl who had older sisters. I couldn’t believe that such a disgusting act could possibly take place lol.

Seriously I learned bad things from other kids. But not in kindergarten.
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Old Yesterday, 02:57 PM
 
13,926 posts, read 14,235,690 times
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This is nothing to clutch the pearls over. It's not a habit yet, so it's easy to fix. You tell him matter-of-factly that it's inappropriate and if you find out he's been doing that he will lose privileges. Problem solved.

The fact that you are freaking out about this (because a note to the teacher is kinda over the top, I'm thinking) is what's going to build his curiosity and the thrill of the forbidden for him.

Relax.
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