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Old 01-11-2020, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Orig. Maryland. CA/TX.
671 posts, read 137,418 times
Reputation: 1232

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Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke View Post
21 months. Welcome to The Terrible Twos.
Threes are worst
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Old 01-11-2020, 02:33 PM
 
2,441 posts, read 1,584,107 times
Reputation: 3371
I agree that fatigue is the most likely culprit. It might be that there are more demands or requirements during the day for her at her new setting. The change from getting to do your own thing all day and having more expectations for group activity can result in higher levels of fatigue as the child adjusts, for example. (Not saying that's true here- just an example). Additionally, as has been mentioned, she was likely very bonded to previous caregivers and she knew the routine. There is a whole lot of learning going on- new peers, new teachers, new routines, everything in a different place. it's exhausting! I would give it more adjustment time before you start to think this is a whole "new" thing or related to behaviors in the setting.
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Old 01-11-2020, 05:41 PM
 
2,241 posts, read 820,595 times
Reputation: 4097
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilLisa83 View Post
Threes are worst
My son was fine all through his second year. Clearly he was lulling me into a false sense of security because a couple of months after his third birthday, all you-know-what broke loose. And here I thought that I'd skated through the Terrible Twos unscathed, LOL

And he didn't even have daycare or preschool to contend with, either. No change in routines or caregiver. He has an August birthday and if you were to watch the video from his 3rd birthday and then the one from that Christmas, you'd swear he'd been swapped for an "evil twin" in the interim.

Civilized behavior didn't start to return until he was four. Whew.
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Old 01-11-2020, 06:22 PM
 
307 posts, read 169,710 times
Reputation: 1198
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShakenStirred View Post
Yes, 21 months old is too young for counseling. Have you tried spanking?
Seriously? She is not yet two years old, and she's being expected to cope with a sudden disappearance of the caretakers she's known since she was an infant and brand new people taking care of her all day. Then, when she expresses these big emotions in the only way she knows how, or tries to assert some semblance of control over a world that is suddenly very different from what she had become accustomed to, you think the right approach is to hit her?

OP, I'm no expert, and my own son is only two and a half, but I don't think there's anything you can do except be extra loving and understanding while she adjusts to this huge change in her day to day life. Even if she likes the new place, she certainly misses the folks at the previous daycare, but doesn't know how to explain that to you. She's old enough to understand your intentions if you empathize with her- "I know you're sad, it's okay to be angry but we still have to do X, I bet you miss (whoever) who used to take care of you," etc. Lots of hugs and snuggles and giving her opportunities to be in control of small things in her life might also help.

It's so tough to navigate helping our little ones recognize and express their emotions in a healthy way. Good luck to you!
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Old 01-12-2020, 07:04 AM
 
66 posts, read 16,317 times
Reputation: 222
^^^^^
My thoughts exactly.

The child needs love and understanding.

Not "spanking" for heaven sakes.
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Old Yesterday, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
399 posts, read 213,573 times
Reputation: 1486
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBCjunkie View Post
My son was fine all through his second year. Clearly he was lulling me into a false sense of security because a couple of months after his third birthday, all you-know-what broke loose. And here I thought that I'd skated through the Terrible Twos unscathed, LOL

And he didn't even have daycare or preschool to contend with, either. No change in routines or caregiver. He has an August birthday and if you were to watch the video from his 3rd birthday and then the one from that Christmas, you'd swear he'd been swapped for an "evil twin" in the interim.

Civilized behavior didn't start to return until he was four. Whew.
I've heard 3 year-olds referred to as 'three-nagers', LOL.
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Old Yesterday, 06:05 PM
 
10,526 posts, read 6,185,171 times
Reputation: 10380
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
This isn't just a change in routine - this is a change in primary caregivers, which although apparently there were safety issues, she was likely very bonded to.
This is what I’m thinking as well.
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Old Today, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Toronto
573 posts, read 136,343 times
Reputation: 618
Definitely new environment is overly stimulating. The old 'structure' and genuine deference to old Daycare provider person is now gone, and thus, toddler is bringing and transferring that unstructured energy home. They're "scared" at daycare as in towing the line, but genuinely, not bonded so when they come home, they're kind of rebelling.

I would suggest re-establishing firmness in control. It's not the kid.. it's... YOU. The Parent.

Also, 21 months is really starting show the Terrible 2 traits.
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Old Today, 10:53 AM
 
11 posts, read 859 times
Reputation: 20
What I really think works well is called the relaxation area, a place to go to slow down and relax. When placing a child into a relaxation area (I used a playpen for my little one), give the child a book to read or anything that is constructive, sit with him but always explain why he is there in a firm but gentle voice. Keep the explanation very very short and use only keywords that he will understand.

Don't forget about PRAISE! Praise is the best thing you could ever do for a child.
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