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Old 01-27-2020, 03:02 PM
 
13,908 posts, read 7,694,148 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I second this. In my area there are often 10-15 people in a 3 bedroom house. Not unusual in areas where rent is expensive.

How much privacy does a 4 year old need and for what?
That is actually a problem. Just because something is common doesn't make it alright.

I've owned rentals and I can assure you there would be none of this overcrowding in my units. Believe me they tried.

OP is trying to be a good caring dad. Some of these responses strikes me as unfair "defend mom at all costs", screw the dad, just like in many family court situations.
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Old 01-27-2020, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Camberville
12,765 posts, read 17,624,418 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
That is actually a problem. Just because something is common doesn't make it alright.

I've owned rentals and I can assure you there would be none of this overcrowding in my units. Believe me they tried.

OP is trying to be a good caring dad. Some of these responses strikes me as unfair "defend mom at all costs", screw the dad, just like in many family court situations.

How is the dad getting screwed in this scenario?
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Old 01-27-2020, 04:27 PM
 
2,574 posts, read 7,912,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foxyknoxy View Post
A 4 year old needs privacy/their own bedroom?! Not really.
But she does need adequate rest, which she can't possibly be getting by sleeping in a living room in a 9-person household. If she were a year older and in school, her teacher would notice that she isn't well-rested in the mornings.

Last edited by katenik; 01-27-2020 at 05:09 PM..
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Old 01-27-2020, 05:39 PM
 
13,908 posts, read 7,694,148 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
How is the dad getting screwed in this scenario?
Just invalidating a father's concerns about the situation. I suspect if it was the reverse and dad was on a sofa with the 4 yr old in a full house, and mom was concerned it would be a different story.
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Old 01-27-2020, 05:40 PM
 
5,646 posts, read 2,476,541 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katenik View Post
But she does need adequate rest, which she can't possibly be getting by sleeping in a living room in a 9-person household. If she were a year older and in school, her teacher would notice that she isn't well-rested in the mornings.
We don’t know that. There are 5 bedrooms and many homes have more than one living space. I lived in a 3-bedroom home that was around 2000sqft and it had a separate family room and living room. The pull-out couch was in the living room while people could stay in the family room. My sister has a 1600sqft 4-bedroom home that has two living areas and my parents also have a home with 2 living areas and my dad takes a lot of naps in the living room downstairs while my mom will watch tv or do something else upstairs. They did have an open area to the downstairs, but put in sliding windows to make it quieter between the levels. Certainly there are options to help keep areas quieter if needed.
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Old 01-28-2020, 08:09 AM
 
2,278 posts, read 2,755,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
She’s not their child. She’s YOUR child. Your responsibility.

Why you won’t advocate for her is beyond my comprehension.
Because my original post was a question in regards to whether or not my daughter living on a couch is acceptable or not. I felt one way but wanted to see if maybe I was reading to much into how I felt. Regardless, my ex has agreed that our daughter will be staying in her mothers bedroom while they are at the parents home.
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Old 01-28-2020, 08:11 AM
 
2,278 posts, read 2,755,224 times
Reputation: 1864
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Photog View Post
If this is the case, get a lawyer and see if she can be compelled to move into her own place with your child now. I know a lot of people keep telling you to get a lawyer, but just from what I have seen in this thread, you probably need to hear it a few more (hundred) times. Since you are not married and this is the first thread I have joined in that you started, I hope you actually have rights to the child

Good luck
I brought the issue up to my ex and pointed out that it is not acceptable to have our daughter sleeping on the couch. My ex agreed to put her up in her mothers room until she moves out.
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Old 01-28-2020, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,491 posts, read 46,750,230 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
I brought the issue up to my ex and pointed out that it is not acceptable to have our daughter sleeping on the couch. My ex agreed to put her up in her mothers room until she moves out.
So you two don't have a formal, court-approved custody agreement?
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Old 01-28-2020, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Florida
6,420 posts, read 4,174,869 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
Because my original post was a question in regards to whether or not my daughter living on a couch is acceptable or not. I felt one way but wanted to see if maybe I was reading to much into how I felt. Regardless, my ex has agreed that our daughter will be staying in her mothers bedroom while they are at the parents home.
Well good. If that makes you feel better about the situation, then that seems like a reasonable compromise. Consider getting that in writing. You can probably work with a mediator to put together a parenting plan, and that can be approved (and enforced, if needed) by the court. You don't need to pay for a lawyer if that's too expensive. Or a legal resource place can also help and they are less expensive than an attorney. I know one is National Family Solutions, not sure if that's in your area.
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Old 01-28-2020, 09:05 AM
 
1,970 posts, read 574,565 times
Reputation: 1521
This is not how I’d want my child to be living but I’m not sure I’d be worried about a 4 year old having privacy, that’s the least of your worries. Kids are resilient, she most likely will barely remember this but as others have said you need a lawyer.
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