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Old Today, 11:12 AM
 
2,259 posts, read 2,665,186 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Where is she going to be living in a few months?
She said she’ll need a few months to save up for her own apartment.
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Old Today, 11:14 AM
 
2,259 posts, read 2,665,186 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
The ex isn't going to think her parents' house is in any way a negative environment, even if they are sleeping on the couch.

Her family has always been an oppressive presence in their lives, and she has always had enmeshment issues. She won't think that being there is a negative for her daughter.
Very true! My ex has dreamt of moving back home, with all her siblings, for many many years.
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Old Today, 11:15 AM
 
54,262 posts, read 43,390,321 times
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Meh, years back before having the nest empty I had a 5 bedroom house with 8 people living in it and there was TONS of room and privacy. (Had >5,000 sq. feet)

It's not like she's living in a car with mom.

May be a good experience for her, a lot of kids get spoiled these days.

Roof over her head, food in her belly, safe and with people that love her.

If this is really bothering you, it may be more anger over the divorce etc. just carrying forward into this situation.
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Old Today, 11:22 AM
 
54,262 posts, read 43,390,321 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
I agree. This is the exact opposite of a stable environment.
Apparently you have had other threads about this as Birdie appears to have extra info.

So, consider my comments as independent strategic thinking.

1) Is the couch a long-term plan, I'm assuming it is not. If her plan is to do this for the next 14 years then that's different.

2) Thus is going after her with lawyers and costing her $$$ going to delay her moving from her parents and defeat the entire purpose of changing that situation?

Best of luck.
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Old Today, 11:27 AM
 
344 posts, read 170,027 times
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I think you should be relax and not be too worked up about this. Is your ex Hispanic or Asian? Your daughter is the only child, and she may even enjoy a full house of people who loves her. Also, your ex needs the support from her family and to save money to get her own place in a few months. A happy mom is better for your kid than a stressful mom. My parents’ house is always full of people, but my daughter loves spending the sleep-over there on the weekend she’s with me when she’s under 8 years old. I’ve always had my own house, but we have spent many weekends there sleeping on a mattress in my parents’ living room. Those weekends have been the most peaceful and happy time of our lives. My parents and siblings would be dotting on both of us, giving me more time to concentrate on my daughter.

When your coparenting with your ex, pick your battle. As long as no harm is done, and it works for your ex and kid, leave it be.
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Old Today, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,509 posts, read 44,826,780 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
Apparently you have had other threads about this as Birdie appears to have extra info.

So, consider my comments as independent strategic thinking.

1) Is the couch a long-term plan, I'm assuming it is not. If her plan is to do this for the next 14 years then that's different.

2) Thus is going after her with lawyers and costing her $$$ going to delay her moving from her parents and defeat the entire purpose of changing that situation?

Best of luck.
jared has posted here for years, before they were married, about this woman who came into his life waving flaming red flags, but you know how love is.

He's never been "in charge" of this relationship, but if he wants to be a positive influence in his daughter's life, he needs to better about taking the initiative. She and her family will be formidable foes during this divorce, which is why he needs to get on his mule and get to work with the help of a pro to at least understand what his rights are.
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Old Today, 12:05 PM
 
13,056 posts, read 7,251,196 times
Reputation: 14484
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
The ex isn't going to think her parents' house is in any way a negative environment, even if they are sleeping on the couch.

Her family has always been an oppressive presence in their lives, and she has always had enmeshment issues. She won't think that being there is a negative for her daughter.
She may not get that apartment.
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Old Today, 12:16 PM
 
2,259 posts, read 2,665,186 times
Reputation: 1844
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
Meh, years back before having the nest empty I had a 5 bedroom house with 8 people living in it and there was TONS of room and privacy. (Had >5,000 sq. feet)

It's not like she's living in a car with mom.

May be a good experience for her, a lot of kids get spoiled these days.

Roof over her head, food in her belly, safe and with people that love her.

If this is really bothering you, it may be more anger over the divorce etc. just carrying forward into this situation.
I am angry at the fact that my daughter will not get a bedroom for privacy. People in that house come and go at all times of the day and night, which would mean she would probably be woken up 3am when one of her sisters go to the gym, or at midnight when her other sisters boyfriend comes home from work.
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Old Today, 12:23 PM
 
2,259 posts, read 2,665,186 times
Reputation: 1844
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
Apparently you have had other threads about this as Birdie appears to have extra info.

So, consider my comments as independent strategic thinking.

1) Is the couch a long-term plan, I'm assuming it is not. If her plan is to do this for the next 14 years then that's different.

2) Thus is going after her with lawyers and costing her $$$ going to delay her moving from her parents and defeat the entire purpose of changing that situation?

Best of luck.
Well, her plan is to live on the couch for x amount of months. Don't really know how long that will truly be. Also, I do not plan on going after her with lawyers or anything. I am hoping that she sees that living on a couch with our daughter is not a good idea.
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Old Today, 12:26 PM
 
2,259 posts, read 2,665,186 times
Reputation: 1844
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nut4sweets View Post
I think you should be relax and not be too worked up about this. Is your ex Hispanic or Asian? Your daughter is the only child, and she may even enjoy a full house of people who loves her. Also, your ex needs the support from her family and to save money to get her own place in a few months. A happy mom is better for your kid than a stressful mom. My parents’ house is always full of people, but my daughter loves spending the sleep-over there on the weekend she’s with me when she’s under 8 years old. I’ve always had my own house, but we have spent many weekends there sleeping on a mattress in my parents’ living room. Those weekends have been the most peaceful and happy time of our lives. My parents and siblings would be dotting on both of us, giving me more time to concentrate on my daughter.

When your coparenting with your ex, pick your battle. As long as no harm is done, and it works for your ex and kid, leave it be.
Ordinarily I would say you are correct. BUT, people come and go out of that house at all times of the day/night. I cannot imagine my daughter will get much sleep on the couch when people are constantly in and out of the house, making noises.
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