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Old Yesterday, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Orig. Maryland. CA/TX.
702 posts, read 148,617 times
Reputation: 1273

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
It’s not my job to provide an alternative to my ex’s living situation. She’s an adult and should be putting our daughters needs above her own. She can afford to move out on her own and get her own place, but she’s choosing to live where she is to save money. Hell, she makes slightly more money than I do, plus, I pay our daughters health insurance and it’s something my ex doesn’t need to worry about. There really isn’t an excuse for her living there. Also, our daughter will be starting kinder in August. She’s going to need her own space by then.
True... But why not just do it solely with your daughter in mind. Yes your ex need to get their crap together but your little girl is in limbo.. so do it for them
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Old Yesterday, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,518 posts, read 44,841,892 times
Reputation: 91019
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
I’ve expressed my concerns to her about our daughter living on a couch. I told her if she wants to couch surf, that’s her business, but since my daughter is there too, I have concerns.
I guess I should learn too, and stop repeating myself:

Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Sorry to hear about this jared.

...

You DO need to get an attorney to establish custody. Make that your priority.
From this thread in 2017:

https://www.city-data.com/forum/rela...me-3-days.html
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Old Yesterday, 02:50 PM
 
852 posts, read 511,378 times
Reputation: 1186
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
No I get it, there’s much worse living conditions to live in. But, with seven other people in the house, with people coming and going at all times of the day/night, is not an ideal living condition if you are living on the couch as an adult. I’m concerned about my 4 year old. She needs privacy and a room to herself, whether it’s shared with her mom or just herself. Also, my ex wouldn’t grant me full custody.
Since you and your ex already have a legal arrangement (the 50/50 time split you mentioned), then I would suggest to your ex that you take your daughter only until she can make different (and better) living arrangements. No involvement from the courts. But if she's not amenable to that and you are concerned for your daughter (I would be), then you should seek to change the legal arrangement.
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Old Yesterday, 03:18 PM
 
Location: STL area
1,096 posts, read 572,461 times
Reputation: 2383
4 year olds don't really need a lot of privacy. While not ideal, this is totally a first world problem. If she's clean, warm, clothed, fed, safe, I don't see where you have much of a case to change anything.
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Old Yesterday, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,434 posts, read 8,977,819 times
Reputation: 7001
Default Sharing a room?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
And yes, sadly I ignored those flaming red flags!! How stupid I was. I got one good thing out of this, which is my daughter, but everything else was just sh**!
Can your daughter maybe share a room with the other granddaughter?

Thinking bunk beds in a room.....
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Old Yesterday, 04:02 PM
 
11,708 posts, read 9,162,241 times
Reputation: 29977
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
No I get it, there’s much worse living conditions to live in. But, with seven other people in the house, with people coming and going at all times of the day/night, is not an ideal living condition if you are living on the couch as an adult. I’m concerned about my 4 year old. She needs privacy and a room to herself, whether it’s shared with her mom or just herself. Also, my ex wouldn’t grant me full custody.
You must have been raised upper middle class. A 4 year old will be fine even if they don't have their own room. It's temporary. When I was growing up, no one had their own room.

If you are so concerned, try to get custody. That's a decision for the courts and not your ex wife. To say that your ex won't grant you custody is may be an excuse you tell yourself to make up for the fact that you may not really want custody. It's easier to complain than it is to be a full time parent.
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Old Yesterday, 04:02 PM
 
2,263 posts, read 2,669,821 times
Reputation: 1851
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilLisa83 View Post
True... But why not just do it solely with your daughter in mind. Yes your ex need to get their crap together but your little girl is in limbo.. so do it for them
You mean go for full custody?
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Old Yesterday, 04:07 PM
 
13,059 posts, read 7,255,405 times
Reputation: 14505
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Can your daughter maybe share a room with the other granddaughter?

Thinking bunk beds in a room.....
Yes, especially if it goes on longer than a few months, some other room arrangement seems to be in order.

Heck we stuck a couple of kids in an unfinished basement- lol, cleaned it out and fixed them up a nice little area with all their stuff and privacy screens, they loved it. We also hosted some people in our den when we ran out of bedrooms, they used a futon and air mattress. But not a fan of the living room couch surf - that is a common area, IMO.
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Old Yesterday, 04:07 PM
 
2,263 posts, read 2,669,821 times
Reputation: 1851
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flyers Girl View Post
Since you and your ex already have a legal arrangement (the 50/50 time split you mentioned), then I would suggest to your ex that you take your daughter only until she can make different (and better) living arrangements. No involvement from the courts. But if she's not amenable to that and you are concerned for your daughter (I would be), then you should seek to change the legal arrangement.
I can always make the suggestion to her.
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Old Yesterday, 04:09 PM
 
2,263 posts, read 2,669,821 times
Reputation: 1851
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Can your daughter maybe share a room with the other granddaughter?

Thinking bunk beds in a room.....
They might make that arrangement. However, I’m not in control of her living situation while she’s with my ex.
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