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Old Today, 08:59 AM
 
2,255 posts, read 2,665,186 times
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Hello. I found out something disturbing, and although I am not sure if I should be concerned or if this is even my business or my place to say something to my ex, but, she moved out not too long ago, and moved into her parents place. Her and I have split 50/50 custody of our 4 year old daughter.

I had my daughter last week and I found out that her and my ex, both sleep on the couch in the living room of her parents home. This concerns me as there are already 7 other people living in the household as it is (Mom, dad, two sisters, sisters boyfriend, one brother and another granddaughter). The house is a five bedroom house.

I would not be so concerned, however, my ex plans on living like this for several months. I do not like the fact that my daughter does not have a bedroom. It is one thing to share a bedroom with her mom, nothing wrong with that, but they are living in the living room!! My daughter has zero privacy, and it actually makes me angry to think that my ex is dragging her to live in these conditions with SEVEN people already living there.

Am I just being too protective of my daughter? Should I back off of this and not say anything to my ex?
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Old Today, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Texas or Cascais, Portugal
3,640 posts, read 3,375,259 times
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I would not be happy. Does not strike me as a stable environment for a child although I am well aware there are many households with an abundance of people living under one roof.
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Old Today, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,508 posts, read 44,826,780 times
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Have you gotten an attorney yet? You need one.
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Old Today, 09:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nurider2002 View Post
I would not be happy. Does not strike me as a stable environment for a child although I am well aware there are many households with an abundance of people living under one roof.
I agree. This is the exact opposite of a stable environment.
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Old Today, 09:30 AM
 
2,255 posts, read 2,665,186 times
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Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Have you gotten an attorney yet? You need one.
Not yet, but I do have monday off. Guess I should look into this.
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Old Today, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
38,600 posts, read 47,491,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
Not yet, but I do have monday off. Guess I should look into this.
What is your ex wife’s plan? Sleeping on the couch at her grandparents is much better for your daughter than living in the car or a shelter. Perhaps your daughter is basking in the love and attention from all those people?

I suppose you could offer to have your daughter full time, until the mother gets a more stable living arrangement.
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Old Today, 10:37 AM
 
2,255 posts, read 2,665,186 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
What is your ex wife’s plan? Sleeping on the couch at her grandparents is much better for your daughter than living in the car or a shelter. Perhaps your daughter is basking in the love and attention from all those people?

I suppose you could offer to have your daughter full time, until the mother gets a more stable living arrangement.
No I get it, there’s much worse living conditions to live in. But, with seven other people in the house, with people coming and going at all times of the day/night, is not an ideal living condition if you are living on the couch as an adult. I’m concerned about my 4 year old. She needs privacy and a room to herself, whether it’s shared with her mom or just herself. Also, my ex wouldn’t grant me full custody.
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Old Today, 10:40 AM
 
13,053 posts, read 7,251,196 times
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Where is she going to be living in a few months?
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Old Today, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
38,600 posts, read 47,491,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaredC View Post
No I get it, there’s much worse living conditions to live in. But, with seven other people in the house, with people coming and going at all times of the day/night, is not an ideal living condition if you are living on the couch as an adult. I’m concerned about my 4 year old. She needs privacy and a room to herself, whether it’s shared with her mom or just herself. Also, my ex wouldn’t grant me full custody.
I’m not suggesting she give you full custody. I’m suggesting she allow your daughter to stay with you until she makes better living arrangements. I presume you both have your daughters best interests at heart?
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Old Today, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,508 posts, read 44,826,780 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I’m not suggesting she give you full custody. I’m suggesting she allow your daughter to stay with you until she makes better living arrangements. I presume you both have your daughters best interests at heart?
The ex isn't going to think her parents' house is in any way a negative environment, even if they are sleeping on the couch.

Her family has always been an oppressive presence in their lives, and she has always had enmeshment issues. She won't think that being there is a negative for her daughter.
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