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Old 01-29-2020, 06:37 PM
 
995 posts, read 261,714 times
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I would rather go through the school than through a kids parents who I don’t know. If it were really bad I could see going to the parent...but for 3 yr olds hitting it seems like something the teacher should handle. They should be the one to tell the hitters parents. Some parents get very defensive of their kids and it could get ugly.
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Old 01-29-2020, 06:39 PM
 
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Preschools have protocols in place for hitting and biting as it is common for the age. Parents cannot actually address the hitting that happens at school because the timing is not going to work.

In general, what our preschools did was to shadow the hitter or biter to prevent the hit or bite. Then they would talk to the kids together and give the aggressive child other things they can do instead. Parents can talk to the child at home and should, but the school needs to address this in the moment.
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Old 01-29-2020, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,616 posts, read 44,968,786 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post

Parents can talk to the child at home and should, but the school needs to address this in the moment.
The peace token is part of how Montessori schools do deal with aggression "in the moment."

They have a whole system that builds "peace education" in with the curriculum, but at this age IMHO it doesn't deal quickly enough with the actual problem.

OP did you choose this school for a reason? I would sit down with the school director and talk about your concerns that your child is being continually victimized while they stick to a protocol that doesn't seem to be working with the hitter.

Then you need to re-evaluate whether this is the preschool for you, based on their response to your concerns.
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Old 01-29-2020, 08:25 PM
 
Location: North Texas
754 posts, read 161,590 times
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You march your self in the school and raise hell.you are expecting little kids to deal with this on their own?! The school is obviously messed up if they don't intervene...
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Old 01-29-2020, 08:43 PM
 
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At my grandson's preschool, they call the parent's sometime and they have to pick the offender up. They teach empathy and alternative behaviors, but sometimes the behaviors continue so the kids are denied permission to stay with the other children for the rest of the day.
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Old 01-29-2020, 09:41 PM
 
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I picked this school because of their approach to learning - giving the child time and the atmosphere to focus and go deeper into activities. And I do like the peace token idea of resolving conflict. I’m just wondering, what the limits are, and if I pull her out, am I giving her the wrong message that I don’t think she can stand up for herself? I want her to be strong and resilient. When is it too much, though?
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Old 01-29-2020, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,616 posts, read 44,968,786 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GingerElla View Post

... am I giving her the wrong message that I don’t think she can stand up for herself?
That's looking at the situation from an adult POV. She's a toddler. She most likely just wants to have as much fun as possible in her day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GingerElla View Post

I want her to be strong and resilient. When is it too much, though?
She's already proven that she is that, and she probably would just be glad to not have to fight off this other kid.

You just need to ask the school how much is too much and see if their definition aligns with yours. Don't be afraid to trust your gut.
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Old 01-30-2020, 08:53 AM
 
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The hitting stage usually doesn't last long, so pulling her out may be too big of a reaction. My son was frequently bit and hit by a kid in his preschool class. We talked about what happens right before he did that--so that my son could identify when he was at risk. We also talked with the kid's parent and learned that he was seeking some physical interaction, so my son started giving him high-fives (alot at first!) and it worked.
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Old 01-30-2020, 08:56 AM
 
6,196 posts, read 2,760,557 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GingerElla View Post
I picked this school because of their approach to learning - giving the child time and the atmosphere to focus and go deeper into activities. And I do like the peace token idea of resolving conflict. I’m just wondering, what the limits are, and if I pull her out, am I giving her the wrong message that I don’t think she can stand up for herself? I want her to be strong and resilient. When is it too much, though?
She's 3.
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Old 01-30-2020, 09:27 AM
 
995 posts, read 261,714 times
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Eh I feel like at age 3 kids should know not to hit. My kids are 3 and 5 and we haven’t had to deal with hitting in school on either side. So the mom here has reason to be mad.
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