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Old 02-04-2020, 07:27 AM
 
20 posts, read 2,671 times
Reputation: 63

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No rating. It is what it is.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5Fgp-KihIA
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Old 02-04-2020, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Florida
12,019 posts, read 5,636,670 times
Reputation: 24810
Raised by my paternal grandmother who we now believe was mentally ill. My childhood was okay when we were younger but by age 12 or so was awful. If you saw Mommy Dearest you'd understand. I made sure not to repeat any of her behavior when I had my own children.
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Old 02-04-2020, 11:18 AM
 
3,908 posts, read 3,414,322 times
Reputation: 12090
I'm not rating my parents. I know their intents were good and they wanted to give us better than what they had. They succeeded in that.
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Old 02-04-2020, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Toronto
605 posts, read 149,528 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
Pros:
I had lots of freedom.
Cons:
That freedom came as a result of not wanting to stay home.
Same here. But for me, it's contributed to some kind of ADD so feel antsy if I just have to do a task I'm not interested in doing, or staying home too long. My career could probably have progressed more too
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Old 02-04-2020, 02:03 PM
 
7,056 posts, read 3,989,963 times
Reputation: 24882
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
I'm not rating my parents. I know their intents were good and they wanted to give us better than what they had. They succeeded in that.
Same here. I know they loved me because they told me so. Sometimes their behavior didn't match what I thought love for a child should be. I know this dynamic has existed in my own relationships with my children. Maybe it's inevitable?

It's been important for me to not judge them through my child eyes. That took some work and investigation on my part to understand what sorts of experiences they had that hindered their ability to parent in all the ways I needed. It's the same kind of evaluation that I hope my own children make for their father and me.

The reason is not so much to forgive them for their failures as it is to heal myself from old resentments and grief that I don't want to carry around with me. Understanding has been good for me.

I have learned that many of the things missing in my childhood I have, as an adult, been able to learn to achieve for myself. I think the main area which wasn't addressed was the area of how to handle a child's feelings so they can, as adults, learn to deal with them as themselves.

There wasn't much room in my childhood for feeling hurt, lonely, angry, sad. I've realized they just didn't know themselves how to deal with those feelings.

As a Boomer baby I'm certainly in good company. The generation before us which went through a Depression and a World War learned to forge ahead regardless of feelings and it's no surprise they expected the same from us.

My parents did an excellent job of teaching me to be responsible and a good student. And they were good at providing for my physical needs. They provided me with a wide range of experiences and opportunities. For those things I am grateful.
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Old 02-04-2020, 02:24 PM
 
14,250 posts, read 216,868 times
Reputation: 22149
We were children raised by children and went everywhere they went. No baby talk, no taboo topics. We lost some feathers and did not necessarily march to the standard drum but turned out to be responsible adults who refuse to grow up completely with partners who are perfect matches and were accepted into the tribe with no reservations.
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Old 02-04-2020, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Florida
2,553 posts, read 1,112,128 times
Reputation: 7174
For the first 10 years I’d rate it an “A”. After that, due to my father dying when I was 12, I’d rate it a “D” at best. I was basically on my own from 12 until I left home at 17. That said, I did pretty well for myself, all things considered.
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Old 02-04-2020, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
24,917 posts, read 16,040,821 times
Reputation: 36964
It matters not to me. I was only ever concerned about my own parenting. That was what I could control. There was no need for me to wallow around in resentment or anger.
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Old 02-04-2020, 06:09 PM
 
2,469 posts, read 908,121 times
Reputation: 4385
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
I would say the relationship between parents and children was so different than today, so I guess you can't apply today's standards.

Back in the 50's and 60's parents were involved in making a living, doing housework, cooking, and talking to other adults rather than to kids. Children had a ton of freedom to roam the streets with other kids all day on summer vacations and school weekends, and after school and often after dinner until bedtime on school nights. None of this was supervised. It was taken for granted you were with other kids and you would look out for each other. Parents were happy to tell the kids "go out and play" and kids were glad to comply.
Exactly! The big generational differences are why an open-ended "rating" question is going to produce such wildly disparate evaluations of "good" and "bad."

As a boomer also, my dad went from being a WWII Army PFC to working as a cash register repairman for the same company for the next 50 years. My mom came from a small town and only had a 6th grade education and worked as a clerk in a dime store. They were both in their 30s when I was born (an only child.) Blue-collar family all the way, so the only educational goal that they set for me was that I must get a high school diploma. I had no desire to go to college at that time and so that was fine with me. Nowadays, my parents' outlook would be considered "poor parenting" by most Millenials and Gen Z'ers but during my childhood it was very much the norm.

My parents both loved me, put my needs and wants ahead of their own, and in all respects did the best they could based on their own lives and their/our circumstances, and so based on that, I give them both an A.
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Old 02-04-2020, 06:52 PM
 
1,786 posts, read 1,471,066 times
Reputation: 1534
Default Rate

Quote:
Originally Posted by censusdata View Post
Overall how would you rate those people how raised you when you were a child? What was done well and done poorly?

Myself...

The Good
- Intellectual stimulation was frequent. Always read to, they would get books if I was interested in a topic.
- I was taught to treat adults / older people in general with respect
- I was taught not to waste things and to be thankful, whether food or clothing, etc

The Bad
- No one ever stood up for me, often they sided with those were bullying me.
- Lack on constructive criticism during a decision but then I would get criticized later after the fact

I might add details later, don't want to hijack thread.



Watchful waiting. Or to say it in another way, if he dies he dies.
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