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Old 02-12-2020, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,603 posts, read 24,279,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I think that does often happen. My uncle and cousin both married women quite a bit younger than them. The women stayed home and husbands were at work. They seem to have no involvement as far as the hard part of parenting goes. But they didn’t have to worry too much since they married women much less than 40.
In my opinion, uninvolved fathers is a much bigger problem than older mothers.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
24,676 posts, read 23,213,304 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
In my opinion, uninvolved fathers is a much bigger problem than older mothers.
I agree. I don't see parenting being tiring as an issue even. Look how many grandparents and older relatives are raising children these days.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:27 PM
 
Location: California
2,081 posts, read 677,787 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charmed hour View Post
Another anecdotal statement. Statistics regarding lower socioeconomic women not asking for tubal ligation? You do realize more poor women, especially WOC, have undergone sterilization than middle income women. Overall, sterilization is dropping among American women of all classes.





https://www.sciencedirect.com/scienc...15028210004668


I also don't see statements wondering why men aren't sterilized and just go on having babies.
Where I live I constantly see women that are low income with tons of kids. Usually no man in sight. When I stated person in the one sentence I was referring to either men or women, however due to the fact the woman has the womb and goes through pregnancy, it’s the woman who’s more in control not only for birth control which evidently isn’t being widely used and the carrying of the baby to term. Therefore men being sterilized isn’t often brought to discussion. But yes that’s the other side of the coin.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,603 posts, read 24,279,340 times
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And to be honest, if the kids are "out of control" it's equally the fault of the father. A lot of blame on only the moms going on here. Fathers need to step up and parent as well, not just point fingers when things go south.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:41 PM
 
2,009 posts, read 578,465 times
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I’m wouldn’t say the fathers have been completely uninvolved. They just weren’t the ones wiping the bums or taking care of them when sick or preparing meals.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,603 posts, read 24,279,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I’m wouldn’t say the fathers have been completely uninvolved. They just weren’t the ones wiping the bums or taking care of them when sick or preparing meals.
Wiping bums and preparing meals is not tiring. Even so, dads should be doing some of that stuff as well.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
24,676 posts, read 23,213,304 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kynight View Post
Being young and dumb doesn't make your story the best example.
I think it does.
Lots and lots of couples start out young and dumb (in hind sight) and many of those relationships produce children and end in divorce.
That was my story as well except I knew I was done having kids and got a tubal.
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Old 02-12-2020, 01:22 PM
 
1,790 posts, read 1,766,400 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TinaTwo View Post
Where I live I constantly see women that are low income with tons of kids. Usually no man in sight. When I stated person in the one sentence I was referring to either men or women, however due to the fact the woman has the womb and goes through pregnancy, it’s the woman who’s more in control not only for birth control which evidently isn’t being widely used and the carrying of the baby to term. Therefore men being sterilized isn’t often brought to discussion. But yes that’s the other side of the coin.

Men being sterilized as well should always be part of a discussion where there is an attempt to shame women (my opinion) for their reproductive choices. A woman can pretty much have only one pregnancy each year. How many children can a man father in a single year? Theoretically as many women as he can sleep with.



Poverty is cyclical and children born into poverty have lower educational achievement. Data shows the more educated a woman becomes the smaller her family is. That being said, "large families" are trending downward including among the poor, who have major birth rate drops in the last 30 years.

https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015...onal-tables-4/
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Old 02-12-2020, 01:29 PM
 
2,009 posts, read 578,465 times
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I remember babysitting my cousin and he threw up. My aunt and uncle came home and my aunt kept saying, oh he won’t know what to do, he’s never been around a throwing up kid. The kid was 4 or 5 at the time and had an older sibling. I was like what!? My dad had been there for me to rub my back a few times when I threw up. Thankfully my DH does the same for our kids. He also makes the lunches. It’s interesting how some dads have no interest in that part of their kids. I’m not saying anyone wants to be around a throwing up child but I guess as a parent your instincts kick in and you want to help your child. My uncle is a very nice man but he wanted no part of his throwing up child.
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Old 02-12-2020, 01:59 PM
Status: "Daring to hope" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
62,688 posts, read 59,511,781 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
But the risk is still there if its their first or forth at increased age. I'm wanting to think there is less risk if it is not your first, but I may be wrong.

Everything is more tiring as you get older but it can also be said that kids keep you young. I had mine young and am now a grand. A couple of my long term co workers started their families later in life, late 30's early 40's. Their children are the same age or younger than my grands. Both had a set of twins. The oldest child of one couple is autistic (mildly). I dont know if its related to their age. My mom had her forth at age 40, with no issues, she had her first at 19 and two live births and one miscarriage in-between.

I can see advantages to both scenarios.
My mom had her seventh a few months short of her 41st birthday. She had her first when she was 21. She had her tubes tied after the last one, though. Only one marriage/father, and you can tell that by looking at us. My father is gone, but his nose lives on.
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