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Old 02-19-2020, 10:02 AM
 
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It seems like people think the new normal is for women to start having kids in their 40s. Apparently they’re supposed to spend their 20s and 30s saving money and furthering their careers.

I get that sometimes having a baby happens later in life but it worries me that many women want to push off having kids.

 
Old 02-19-2020, 10:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
It seems like people think the new normal is for women to start having kids in their 40s. Apparently they’re supposed to spend their 20s and 30s saving money and furthering their careers.

I get that sometimes having a baby happens later in life but it worries me that many women want to push off having kids.
It is normal ( = common, natural) for women to have babies in their 40s and, frankly, always has been. I'm 50, and my mom was 43 when I was born.

It's not the "new normal," if by that you mean that the majority of people are having babies in their 40s rather than at earlier ages.

Anyway, why does this worry you so much? If you're going to worry, worry about the young women who "accidentally" get pregnant in their teens or early 20s and have no education, no spouse, and no way to support a baby.
 
Old 02-19-2020, 11:10 AM
 
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Right but people are delaying things more these days than they used to be. There are employers who offer to freeze women’s eggs at no charge these days if they want to go that route. It used to be pretty common for educated couples to have babies at 25. Seems like the numbers keep increasing as far as age goes and many people don’t even have their first kid until their in their 40s. It’s basically unheard of for educated couples to have babies in their 20s these days. It’s fine that they wait until their 30s or early 40s but it gets harder to get pregnant on ones own often. There’s been a a huge surge in ivf. It just feels strange to me. I think people use ivf as a crutch.
 
Old 02-19-2020, 11:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
Right but people are delaying things more these days than they used to be. There are employers who offer to freeze women’s eggs at no charge these days if they want to go that route. It used to be pretty common for educated couples to have babies at 25. Seems like the numbers keep increasing as far as age goes and many people don’t even have their first kid until their in their 40s. It’s basically unheard of for educated couples to have babies in their 20s these days. It’s fine that they wait until their 30s or early 40s but it gets harder to get pregnant on ones own often. There’s been a a huge surge in ivf. It just feels strange to me. I think people use ivf as a crutch.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tan...until-the-30s/

What you are saying is not true, and there is actual data to prove it. The median age for a woman with a bachelor's degree to have her first child is 28. For a masters degree it is 30. A full 46% of women with a master's degree had their first child before age 30, so it is hardly "unheard of". If you want to count a 2 year degree the median age is 25.
 
Old 02-19-2020, 12:24 PM
 
Location: SoCal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
It is normal ( = common, natural) for women to have babies in their 40s and, frankly, always has been. I'm 50, and my mom was 43 when I was born.

It's not the "new normal," if by that you mean that the majority of people are having babies in their 40s rather than at earlier ages.

Anyway, why does this worry you so much? If you're going to worry, worry about the young women who "accidentally" get pregnant in their teens or early 20s and have no education, no spouse, and no way to support a baby.
It’s not normal back then. My mom had 5 kids out by the time she was 25. I had 2 kids out by the time I was 35. My kids may have 2 kids out by the time they are 45.
 
Old 02-19-2020, 12:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenniferLB75 View Post
With all her boyfriends, not being on the pill, and not really using other protection how did she not get pregnant until she was 41?
If you don't know the answer to that question, you probably don't actually know that she didn't get pregnant earlier. Maybe she did.
 
Old 02-19-2020, 12:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
It’s not normal back then. My mom had 5 kids out by the time she was 25. I had 2 kids out by the time I was 35. My kids may have 2 kids out by the time they are 45.
It was perfectly normal back then to have a child at age 43, 44, 45. It just wasn't normal to have your first baby after you turned 40.
 
Old 02-19-2020, 12:47 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
83,999 posts, read 77,061,275 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I can’t say I know many women or any women having kids until their mid 40s. That’s like 44-45 years old. That is old. 41 is also pretty up there, it’s really pushing it.

Why are people here so pro women having babies in their 40s?
Because they can. Why do guys tend to be all pro men having babies in their 60's or 70's? If you mention the fact that by that age, their sperm quality has degraded significantly, so their changes of fathering a child with some kind of handicap is much higher than in the 20's and 30's, they go into denial.

C'est la vie.

I recall there being talk in the 80's about a "double baby boom", when women in their 20's were having kids, but also, women in their 40's also were having kids. Apparently, that's when the "older mother" phenom started to catch on. Does anyone here remember that, and have anything to contribute about that?
 
Old 02-19-2020, 01:13 PM
 
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I had a baby as I was turning 43. Our other kids were in college and a senior in high school. I shouldn't have been able to get pregnant, but there it was.

I went to a detailed ultrasound with a specialist and the doc is telling me what a great, healthy looking baby boy I had. Then he looks at my chart, looks at me, looks at my chart, asks if I am really the age listed (because I don't look my age) and proceeds to tell me the laundry list of issues that could have been wrong with a pregnancy at my age.

We have yet to pay for college with the others due to academic scholarships, and I think our newest member, now 4.5 years old, may be the brightest of the bunch. Some surprises are the best kind. We wouldn't trade his sweet soul for anything.
 
Old 02-19-2020, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
4,674 posts, read 8,005,382 times
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My sister had her two children at 39 and 40. She is one of the most patient mothers I know. Both her kids (now in their 20s) turned out great.

It irks me when people say, “I can’t imagine having a baby when I’m 40.” (This is usually women who had children in their 20s.) Many women are not in a position (financially, relationship-wise or other) to have a child until they are 40. If they’re happy, let them be.
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