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Old 02-21-2020, 03:02 PM
 
902 posts, read 302,344 times
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Mixed feelings . . . .

1) I applaud her problem solving skills.

2) But she's gotta learn how to "cover her tracks" better. It was irresponsible getting caught.
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Old 02-21-2020, 08:48 PM
 
29,064 posts, read 35,444,086 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OutdoorsExplorer View Post
Talked to her about it ? Sure.

Punished her, no.

the general consensus seems to be a cell phone is not a toy to be taken away, but rather a tool used for real life, to do schoolwork (not sure how ?) and safety. ( not sure how everyone didn't die in the 70's before cell phones)

I gave her both phone back after she cleaned the bathroom ... Not sure what else to do ..
Really??? Let her have the OLD phone. Sell the new one. Let her save up her money and buy a new one if she wants one.
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Old 02-22-2020, 04:01 AM
Status: "For the night is dark and full of terrors" (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: DMV Area/NYC/Honolulu
17,611 posts, read 8,302,952 times
Reputation: 17118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debsi View Post
Smartphones are pocket computers. You can do everything but make phone calls if you have WiFi available.
And even then you can make calls with wifi via a Google Voice number or something similar. I know this because I make such calls at times on my tablet.
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Old 02-22-2020, 07:15 AM
 
3,226 posts, read 3,232,123 times
Reputation: 3944
It sounds as if it may be necessary to have her quit her job. If she can't follow rules, then she is not yet mature enough to be spreading herself so thin with work, school, and a social life. Unless she is working to help keep the lights on, then it is a privilege that she has abused.
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Old 02-22-2020, 07:39 AM
 
101 posts, read 29,489 times
Reputation: 261
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debsi View Post
Smartphones are pocket computers. You can do everything but make phone calls if you have WiFi available.
You can make calls, too, with wifi (and no cell service) using apps like Google Voice, Skype, etc.
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Old 02-22-2020, 08:38 AM
 
7,825 posts, read 3,775,271 times
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So the iPhone battery was dead. Removed. Hard to believe this gal magically got a new one installed.
My concern is that par the course....a parent Snopes and invades the teens personal space .
Short of the teen inflicting self harm...dealing drugs...harboring guns or making bombs. I tend to cringe at a parent crossing the privacy line. So if there is a lesson to be learned let it be that you emulate respect and it will be returned. Emulate deceptiveness and sure enough that too will be returned . Where do you think she learned that from?

Double standards are not a healthy tool .
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Old 02-22-2020, 10:04 AM
 
Location: MID ATLANTIC
8,031 posts, read 19,644,786 times
Reputation: 9060
I am so torn on this one. At age 16, both of our boys were pretty much treated as adults. And they acted like adults (for the most part - there were some issues/arguments, but nothing serious. We did take away car privileges). I feel a phone today is a necessary tool. I cannot imagine not being able to dial 911 when walking home or help with a broken down car.

Teaching a child not to lie or deceive is something that must be started very early so it is ingrained in their thinking. I am not saying my boys never lied, but I am certain it wasn't critical. To this day at 26 and 32, both take pride in their integrity.

Maybe sit down with dd and have a heart to heart about honesty and deception and it will not be tolerated. Set the ground rules and tell her you plan to treat her as the adult she is becoming and you expect the same respect in return. At the age 16, the more adversarial you are, the more she will revolt. You need to foster a positive relationship moving forward. It's difficult to know if this is a one off situation or a pattern of repeat behavior. Only you would know that. If it is a pattern, you may need professional help. If it's an isolated incident, treat it as such and try for a peace you both can live with.

Good luck.
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Old 02-22-2020, 10:29 AM
 
2,174 posts, read 1,071,890 times
Reputation: 4177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debsi View Post
Smartphones are pocket computers. You can do everything but make phone calls if you have WiFi available.
And if you have wifi you can make phone calls with any number of free calling apps.
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Old 02-22-2020, 04:10 PM
 
5,506 posts, read 1,566,307 times
Reputation: 6501
How would parents of C-D treat this if it was discovered that the teen is paying for this line with her own money?

To be candid, this is exactly the kind of behavior that drove me to WANT independence. No more "who pays for _____?" rhetoric. I went straight from HS to working full time so I could afford the things that I was provided, so I could control them, and answer to no one. Not long after, this came to include my own housing. To me, it was just a part of growing up.
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Old 02-23-2020, 05:44 AM
 
Location: Greater NYC
2,982 posts, read 5,168,068 times
Reputation: 4027
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Really??? Let her have the OLD phone. Sell the new one. Let her save up her money and buy a new one if she wants one.
YES. Seems obvious.

Teach initiative.
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