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Old 02-25-2020, 03:27 PM
Status: "The ministers cat is an exhausted cat" (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: NJ
1,058 posts, read 363,411 times
Reputation: 3606

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Quote:
Originally Posted by djsuperfly View Post
Well, if OP thinks daughter is in the closet smoking crack, he/she may need some "insight."

On a serious note though OP, you're hardly the first parent to have issues with a 16-year-old doing chores, and you certainly won't be the last.
Yeah oddly enough when our kids are acting out or whatever we never assume they're smoking crack...
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Old 03-01-2020, 05:34 PM
 
Location: NNJ
10,921 posts, read 6,197,011 times
Reputation: 11959
My 13 year old doesn't have a phone. period. Problem solved.

We have one we loan out to him for safety reasons when he is out on his own. But it is clear that the phone is his parents' and it is secured and powered off otherwise.

This is more than just keeping away from the phone... this is also a lesson that nothing is entitled to him.

I'm hoping by the time he is 16 many of the lessons (not just this one) will point him in the right direction of good choices. So far he is a good kid.. .just forgetful. We keep him busy.. even works birthday parties at the Karate dojo he has been a long time member of.. as well as volunteer mentoring at the county orchestra. When he turns of legal working age, he already has a spot to work at the dojo. I think all of this keeps him making good choices and the little free time on his own with friends is appreciated even more rather than entitled.
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Old 03-01-2020, 06:25 PM
 
27,764 posts, read 19,628,188 times
Reputation: 48931
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
My 13 year old doesn't have a phone. period. Problem solved.

We have one we loan out to him for safety reasons when he is out on his own. But it is clear that the phone is his parents' and it is secured and powered off otherwise.

This is more than just keeping away from the phone... this is also a lesson that nothing is entitled to him.

I'm hoping by the time he is 16 many of the lessons (not just this one) will point him in the right direction of good choices. So far he is a good kid.. .just forgetful. We keep him busy.. even works birthday parties at the Karate dojo he has been a long time member of.. as well as volunteer mentoring at the county orchestra. When he turns of legal working age, he already has a spot to work at the dojo. I think all of this keeps him making good choices and the little free time on his own with friends is appreciated even more rather than entitled.
I think that’s awesome. My great nephews have become self-absorbed and unsocial due to phone, games etc. at my mothers (their great-grandmother) 87th birthday lunch at the nursing home where she was getting rehab, the 16 year old didn’t take his nose out of his phone the entire time. It’s rude and I’m sure it hurt my mom’s feelings.
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Old 03-01-2020, 07:48 PM
 
8,426 posts, read 14,056,327 times
Reputation: 10975
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I think that’s awesome. My great nephews have become self-absorbed and unsocial due to phone, games etc. at my mothers (their great-grandmother) 87th birthday lunch at the nursing home where she was getting rehab, the 16 year old didn’t take his nose out of his phone the entire time. It’s rude and I’m sure it hurt my mom’s feelings.
I am wondering why you didn't take it away and tell them to respect their great grandmother ??
Maybe the parents were on scene and that is why. I told a grown man to put his phone away
at my aunt's funeral once.
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Old 03-02-2020, 09:25 AM
 
27,764 posts, read 19,628,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
I am wondering why you didn't take it away and tell them to respect their great grandmother ??
Maybe the parents were on scene and that is why. I told a grown man to put his phone away
at my aunt's funeral once.
Yes, parents were on scene unfortunately.
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Old 03-02-2020, 10:04 AM
 
8,426 posts, read 14,056,327 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Yes, parents were on scene unfortunately.
I would have been tempted to do it anyway and let the fight begin
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Old 03-02-2020, 10:18 AM
 
27,764 posts, read 19,628,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
I would have been tempted to do it anyway and let the fight begin
It would’ve just upset my mother, if we started fighting.
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Old 03-02-2020, 10:23 AM
 
8,426 posts, read 14,056,327 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
It would’ve just upset my mother, if we started fighting.
True
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Old 03-03-2020, 07:36 AM
 
Location: DFW
1,068 posts, read 357,932 times
Reputation: 1885
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I think that’s awesome. My great nephews have become self-absorbed and unsocial due to phone, games etc. at my mothers (their great-grandmother) 87th birthday lunch at the nursing home where she was getting rehab, the 16 year old didn’t take his nose out of his phone the entire time. It’s rude and I’m sure it hurt my mom’s feelings.
70 years ago, this is what adults said about television.
That said, I am concerned about the use of phones, computers, and TV's for the reason of the all the ions bouncing around constantly- I don't think we will ever really know what it does to brain chemistry.
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Old 03-03-2020, 08:17 AM
 
6,526 posts, read 2,985,862 times
Reputation: 18106
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I think that’s awesome. My great nephews have become self-absorbed and unsocial due to phone, games etc. at my mothers (their great-grandmother) 87th birthday lunch at the nursing home where she was getting rehab, the 16 year old didn’t take his nose out of his phone the entire time. It’s rude and I’m sure it hurt my mom’s feelings.

Lets be honest here...teenagers, at a nursing home (gross lol), at a lunch for their 87 yr old GGM (boring). I would have forgiven them just a tad.

I would never have my feelings hurt because I would never expect teenagers at such an event.
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