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Can't you be both? Can't someone be a role model AND a friend? Can't one be an authority figure AND a friend?
Certainly friends can pass wisdom to each other, not just parents to their children.
Personally, I feel like I can be friends with my children (who are adults now) and STILL lend a guiding hand, a word of wisdom, etc. I can ALSO be a shoulder to cry on, and someone to share exciting news, or sad news, or ANY THING at all...if they want to.
Parents and children have a fundamentally different relationship than just "friends" even after children are long into adulthood. It's a different dynamic than a conventional peer friendship.
The four basic parenting styles are: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninivolved. Of these four:
Quote:
The authoritative approach to parenting has been shown to lead to the best outcomes in kids, including better emotional health, social skills, more resiliency, and more secure attachment with their parents.
I think this is the issue my sister has with her daughter. She had her young and still acts immature. Daughter doesn't respect mom whatsoever. Not surprised.
Absolutely! Kids have not respect for the "friend" parent. Treat them just like a buddy where they are an equal and can do what they want. Don't think so!
I'm both and that's how it should be. I want my daughters to know that they can talk to me about anything and not be afraid. I have a fantastic relationship with my teen because of that and she literally talks to be about everything and anything. With that said, that doesn't mean she can do what ever she wants. She's fully aware that I'm not going to let her get away with anything she shouldn't be doing. Obviously my approach is working because she's an honor student, does charitable work, a cheerleader, in Choir and is taking H.S classes geared towards Engineering!
Friends? Not so much. Be open so that they can talk to you about sex, friends, any problems. But never let it be lost that as long as they are minors, you are the supreme arbiter, and that your word is gold. Kids need boundaries. Teach them what you will, but always make sure you have consistent boundaries which you enforce.
I'm both and that's how it should be. I want my daughters to know that they can talk to me about anything and not be afraid. I have a fantastic relationship with my teen because of that and she literally talks to be about everything and anything. With that said, that doesn't mean she can do what ever she wants. She's fully aware that I'm not going to let her get away with anything she shouldn't be doing. Obviously my approach is working because she's an honor student, does charitable work, a cheerleader, in Choir and is taking H.S classes geared towards Engineering!
Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. You’re deluding yourself if you think she has no secrets if you’re actually setting boundaries.
Can't you be both? Can't someone be a role model AND a friend? Can't one be an authority figure AND a friend?
Yes.
Of course.
This one-or-the-other notion that a parent must retain an austere emotional distance is absurd. It's like someone is following a checklist for parenting, rather than understanding the dynamic that must be individually fashioned between two unique individuals. Parenting-by-numbers.
Ugh.
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