Trouble with mother, do I make a clean break?

[gentlearts]

You sound like a sensible woman, despite the bad example your mother has set for you. Unfortunately, we can't pick our parents, but we can learn from their mistakes.
You need to do whatever it takes to make your life all it can be, and you have an obligation, I think, to support your siblings in any way you can.

[itlchick]

I agree with the above posters. My only concern is that if it actually went to court - I'm not sure how easy it would be to get legal custody. Hopefully, it will never come to that.

Another small piece of advice - take advantage of "inertia". Meaning, get him set up at your house, get him enrolled in school, convince your mother to move out to California and leave him with you "for the time being." Then, wait for her to lose interest/motivation.

I am so sorry that you got this mother. But, on the plus side, you a) survived and b) managed to become a good person

[obey1]

i have a something similar to this but so complicated.... I came from Africa to meet my mother in the US which we did not really had any relationship with. I am meeting her so we can live together for the first time. I am already 21 and she is 45. she is expecting me to start learning her own style of life, meanwhile i am already clinch to my own kind of life which i think is simple and confortable. at my 21 years do you think i can change my patern of life to be like her's we always have misunderstanding every day since i came to the US that i always feel i should go back to africa... please any body that understand me should help me

[sinsativ]

Life is a constant changing role of compromises. YOu have to adapt to your mothers life, and she will have to allow you to live yours. both will have to let the other live their lives and both will have to be willing to change theirs in some way to conform to the others, if not, then it wont work out, the best of luck.

[stepka]

The problem that I have with threatening to call family services is that your mom may just up and move and not leave a forwarding address. I go with the suggestion to do it sideways--get him to your house and enrolled in school. Oops, I just remembered--you can't enroll him in school w/o proof of custody. You could just go ahead and call family services and start the ball rolling. It won't be hard for them to figure out who should be raising that child. This will be difficult, but if you don't do it, you will have problems sleeping at night later. Don't ask me how I know that. God bless you for caring.