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Old 05-25-2018, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I agree with Zen when she points out that people alternately complain that parents are too permissive and society is going down the toilet over lack of "parenting", and then hint how silly it is to try to oversee the sex life of someone who's recently out of middle school because it's so fun to have sex as a young teen and brings back so many great memories. Which is it?

If it's "let fly, it'll be fun for them and they'll chuckle about it one day," great, then I never want to hear another word out of anybody about how kids today have no restrictions and parents are afraid to lay down the law and kids figure they can do whatever they want to do and oh noes, look at the lazy slackers that's producing and ZOMG IT'S ALL THE PARENTS' FAULT. I mean that's fine, but pick one, people.
I understand the point both of you are making but there is a happy medium between neglectful parenting and throwing people in jail. I think in this case you don't have to pick one. If you catch your daughter having sex with a 17 year old boy there is no jail option, yet there are parents who still try their best to keep it from happening. Whatever a responsible parent would do to try to get their daughter not to sleep with a 17 year old boy would still apply with an 18 year old boy.
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Old 05-25-2018, 07:40 AM
 
Location: NW Indiana
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This thread is over 10 years old and it's off-topic for the Relationships forum. Since it has turned into a discussion about parenting, it will be moved to the Parenting forum. Tread lightly, people. Please stay on topic and refrain from posting personal attacks.
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Old 05-25-2018, 08:14 AM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,628,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24 View Post
Little doubt I would have gone to jail back then. But I also didn't realize that underage sex was illegal, and I'm not saying that as a defense. What I am saying is that I'd seen many a teenage girl with baby bumps. Of course nowadays the law imposes harsh penalties.
Why would you go to jail? Were you the over-18 party having sex with a 14 year old?

That's the opposite of what you said before.
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Old 05-25-2018, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,744,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hulsker 1856 View Post
Why should 'attend the same school' have any relevancy at all? You're saying it should be perfectly legal if an 18-year-old from Central High has sex with a 15-year-old from Central High, but it should be rape if he has sex with a 15-year-old from East High? That makes zero sense.

At any rate, there is more than 'a little bit of leniency' in statutory rape laws. They invariably have close-in-age exceptions. But someone always thinks there should be a larger exception. But the line has to fall somewhere. We agree on that, right? If you don't draw a line, then there is no statutory rape.

It's unfortunate when an 18-year-old gets tagged as a pedophile from having sex with a 15-year-old. The solution? Don't have sex with 15-year-olds if you're an adult! It's really not that hard.
I don’t think 18 year olds are really adults. 15 year olds and 18 year olds are close in age s d would encounter each other so a relationship makes sense. They could go to the same school. 20+ and 15 year olds are Shen it crosses into suspicion for me. A 3 year age gap isminor. That is what I meant to convey. A 20 year old on the other hand is going out of their way to find youngsters. A senior and a freshman? That’s plausible.
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Old 05-25-2018, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,345,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
I don’t think 18 year olds are really adults. 15 year olds and 18 year olds are close in age s d would encounter each other so a relationship makes sense. They could go to the same school. 20+ and 15 year olds are Shen it crosses into suspicion for me. A 3 year age gap isminor. That is what I meant to convey. A 20 year old on the other hand is going out of their way to find youngsters. A senior and a freshman? That’s plausible.
Having raised two to adulthood, I agree. When I was 18, the age of majority was 21. Times change, laws change.

Most states have "Romeo and Juliet" laws that reduce or eliminate the statutory rape penalty in many cases, though the laws vary by state.
https://legaldictionary.net/romeo-and-juliet-laws/
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Old 05-27-2018, 07:44 AM
 
Location: Somewhere below Mason/Dixon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
Having raised two to adulthood, I agree. When I was 18, the age of majority was 21. Times change, laws change.

Most states have "Romeo and Juliet" laws that reduce or eliminate the statutory rape penalty in many cases, though the laws vary by state.
https://legaldictionary.net/romeo-and-juliet-laws/
I bet the law has changed in the state this incident occurred 10 years ago when this thread originated. The idea that the teen boy can be thrown in jail for sex with a teen girl is absurd, and that is why some of these laws have begun to change. Nothing abnormal about 18 year old boys and 16 year old girls being attracted to one another. Now I do believe in waiting for marriage but we all know almost no one does that in today’s society. Jailing 18 and 19 years old boys for this is a crime in itself. When they get out of jail they will be sex offenders, unemployable, lives ruined and full of hate anger and resentment for what has been done to them. They will go in as normal teenaged boys and come out as hostile hateful dangerous members of society. The use of our Justice system in this fashion is not detering criminal activity it is manufacturing it.
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Old 05-27-2018, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danielj72 View Post
I bet the law has changed in the state this incident occurred 10 years ago when this thread originated. The idea that the teen boy can be thrown in jail for sex with a teen girl is absurd, and that is why some of these laws have begun to change. Nothing abnormal about 18 year old boys and 16 year old girls being attracted to one another. Now I do believe in waiting for marriage but we all know almost no one does that in today’s society. Jailing 18 and 19 years old boys for this is a crime in itself. When they get out of jail they will be sex offenders, unemployable, lives ruined and full of hate anger and resentment for what has been done to them. They will go in as normal teenaged boys and come out as hostile hateful dangerous members of society. The use of our Justice system in this fashion is not detering criminal activity it is manufacturing it.
Florida's Romeo and Juliet law was passed in 2007. My source doesn't say what month, but this thread was posted in November of 2007. Also, under existing FL law at that time: "(NOTE: Under the age-gap provision in Florida Statute § 794.05, a 16- or 17-year-old can legally consent to sexual conduct with a person 16 to 23 years of age. If the victim is younger or the defendant is older than these thresholds, this rule does not apply. The defendant would face felony sex crimes charges.)"
https://www.goldmanwetzel.com/blog/f...eo-juliet-law/

So maybe there's more to the story.
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Old 05-29-2018, 11:24 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,887,460 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
Most states have "Romeo and Juliet" laws that reduce or eliminate the statutory rape penalty in many cases, though the laws vary by state.
https://legaldictionary.net/romeo-and-juliet-laws/
This. Thanks, Katarina, that was what I was referenced earlier, but I couldn't remember what it was called.

People tend to lump it all together, but the law is not totally unreasonable on this. The danger is in lumping it ALL together, using the above scenario to say age of consent is OVERALL just dumb. Because it isn't. A 40-year-old having sex with a "consenting" 14-year-old is the main motivation for such laws to be in place, not two teens doing it. And every reasonable person knows this. But every reasonable person also knows that not having age of consent would be a total legal nightmare.

Meanwhile...okay, 40 and 14 or 15 is just (shudder...never mind)...so is 30 and 15...wait...what about 29 and 15, 25 and 15, 22 and 15...it's not always cut and dried and eventually you finally get down to a margin that seems less "eeeew" and obvious and then what? You put a cutoff somewhere, and people either obey the law, or they do not obey the law. It's there, EVERY teen knows about it in his or her state, come on...it's all the talk among the newly-teen and extremely curious.
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Old 05-30-2018, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,261 posts, read 14,495,305 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
This. Thanks, Katarina, that was what I was referenced earlier, but I couldn't remember what it was called.

People tend to lump it all together, but the law is not totally unreasonable on this. The danger is in lumping it ALL together, using the above scenario to say age of consent is OVERALL just dumb. Because it isn't. A 40-year-old having sex with a "consenting" 14-year-old is the main motivation for such laws to be in place, not two teens doing it. And every reasonable person knows this. But every reasonable person also knows that not having age of consent would be a total legal nightmare.

Meanwhile...okay, 40 and 14 or 15 is just (shudder...never mind)...so is 30 and 15...wait...what about 29 and 15, 25 and 15, 22 and 15...it's not always cut and dried and eventually you finally get down to a margin that seems less "eeeew" and obvious and then what? You put a cutoff somewhere, and people either obey the law, or they do not obey the law. It's there, EVERY teen knows about it in his or her state, come on...it's all the talk among the newly-teen and extremely curious.
Well, my own opinions on this are weird and unusual and thankfully I don't expect people to agree with me, nor for my OPINIONS to hold any weight. They are only and just opinions and nothing more. Formed by a pretty weird life.

It's not the sex that bugs me. Past puberty, a romp is a romp and it doesn't matter who the partner is or their age, in my opinion. I say this, because I once heard a story (don't know if credible) that a teenager was at a party back in the day where David Bowie was, and he was older and he took her virginity. And you know what? If an old man Bowie could have been my first, instead of the BOY who was...well, I'm sure I'd have had a better experience, that's all. And hell, if I'd gotten knocked up, betcha Mr. Bowie could have sent me some money to support a kid easier that Jimmy from down the cul-de-sac, just saying. But there you go.

The problem, for me, isn't when people just had some sex. It's with the piece that MOST people think is good, ok, or morally better than *gasp!* mere fornication. It's when there is a RELATIONSHIP. An older person might be more inclined to want to grab, hold, and keep a person in their lives. Might be in a position of power. The younger person might not easily be able to extricate and leave them if they need or want to. (And a lot of this was also following my thoughts after watching the movie, Lolita. I felt like, had Jeremy Irons' character just boinked the gal a time or two and then vanished, she probably would have gotten over and past it with little overall damage, assuming she neither got pregnant nor caught anything incurable.)

I had plenty of generally casual sex with plenty of partners when I was age 14-18, and I don't feel that any of it scarred or damaged me, in the slightest. It was the marriage, when I was 18-36, that almost killed me. He was older, I hardly knew how to survive, and he created a situation where I was dependent on him very quickly. There is that coercive element that to me, is where the real danger lies, the damage to people.

When I think about moral standards, I'm not thinking "ick factor" I'm thinking where is the ACTUAL harm to people. The real potential for damage. I do not personally believe that sex diminishes my value or does any harm to me, so long as health protection best practices are there. But a toxic relationship I cannot easily escape? Oh god yes. THAT is what I wish young people could be protected from. And I wish that protection could extend into at least the early 20's somehow.
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Old 05-31-2018, 06:33 AM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,882 posts, read 30,982,886 times
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One thing to keep in mind is that until the last couple of generations, these types of relationships were considered normal and natural.
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