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Old 03-05-2020, 01:12 PM
Status: "Daring to hope" (set 4 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
62,544 posts, read 59,428,330 times
Reputation: 75348

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sepulgeek View Post
Why is their a rule about hair length for boys? Public schools are really like prisons these days.
It's obviously a private school.
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Old 03-05-2020, 01:50 PM
 
17,761 posts, read 21,866,277 times
Reputation: 35999
Quote:
Originally Posted by alv0065 View Post
He’s fourteen. I guess I should have been more clear. I take him to the barber but he keeps coming up with reasons why he can’t go or asking to go another week. I don’t want to drag him there!
Whose the parent and whose the child?
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Old 03-05-2020, 01:51 PM
 
17,761 posts, read 21,866,277 times
Reputation: 35999
Quote:
Originally Posted by alv0065 View Post
Yeah. I guess I was trying not to be the bad guy here...if it wasn’t for school I would have no problem having him grow his hair out. But he also needs to follow the rules. He’s a well behaved kid so I’ll just say we are going to the barber today and that will be it.
Well you better start learning sometimes you have to be the "bad guy". It's called being a parent.
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Old 03-05-2020, 02:46 PM
 
10,983 posts, read 9,154,620 times
Reputation: 20208
Remind him that when summer comes, he can grow his hair out as long as he likes (and is physically possible) - but a haircut will be a mandatory part of his back-to-school routine. School year=short hair, summer vacation=let it grow, let it grow, let it grow.

Of course, longish hair will be hotter and more uncomfortable in the summer, but if he will put up with being hot in order to be cool - his choice. At least during the summer.

Unless he will be in summer school...
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Old 03-05-2020, 02:56 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,914 times
Reputation: 40
Wow I didn’t know this would take off!

Well as an update I talked to him. I told him that what he did at school was up to him, when he was around me he needed to wear his uniform properly. From breakfast (he’s suppose to have his uniform on by then) to when he gets out of the car. That includes tie snug and shirt tucked in. What he does after that is up to him. He said that the tie was uncomfortable. I don’t know if there is much credence to that? all the other kids seem to have no problem. This morning we had no problems. Shirt tucked, tie tied. Seemed fine.

I took him to the barber after school. He didnt complain, I think he knew his hair was too long.
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Old 03-05-2020, 03:00 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,914 times
Reputation: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
Remind him that when summer comes, he can grow his hair out as long as he likes (and is physically possible) - but a haircut will be a mandatory part of his back-to-school routine. School year=short hair, summer vacation=let it grow, let it grow, let it grow.

Of course, longish hair will be hotter and more uncomfortable in the summer, but if he will put up with being hot in order to be cool - his choice. At least during the summer.

Unless he will be in summer school...
Yup! I told him he can grow it out in the summer!
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Old 03-05-2020, 05:43 PM
 
2,301 posts, read 749,855 times
Reputation: 4973
Quote:
Originally Posted by alv0065 View Post
Wow I didn’t know this would take off!

Well as an update I talked to him. I told him that what he did at school was up to him, when he was around me he needed to wear his uniform properly. From breakfast (he’s suppose to have his uniform on by then) to when he gets out of the car. That includes tie snug and shirt tucked in. What he does after that is up to him. He said that the tie was uncomfortable. I don’t know if there is much credence to that? all the other kids seem to have no problem. This morning we had no problems. Shirt tucked, tie tied. Seemed fine.

I took him to the barber after school. He didnt complain, I think he knew his hair was too long.
Two Thumbs up for Mom!
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Old 03-05-2020, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
19,629 posts, read 12,716,287 times
Reputation: 41312
Quote:
Originally Posted by alv0065 View Post
Wow I didn’t know this would take off!

Well as an update I talked to him. I told him that what he did at school was up to him, when he was around me he needed to wear his uniform properly. From breakfast (he’s suppose to have his uniform on by then) to when he gets out of the car. That includes tie snug and shirt tucked in. What he does after that is up to him. He said that the tie was uncomfortable. I don’t know if there is much credence to that? all the other kids seem to have no problem. This morning we had no problems. Shirt tucked, tie tied. Seemed fine.

I took him to the barber after school. He didnt complain, I think he knew his hair was too long.
Good start ! Kids forget that we support them financially, and some parents forget that too. When they turn 21 and have a good job, they can do whatever they please, but up until that point, we have to be in control.

Kids are smart and look for ways to get around us, we just have to be firm and smarter than they are.
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Old 03-05-2020, 09:07 PM
 
21,922 posts, read 12,482,532 times
Reputation: 22424
Quote:
Originally Posted by alv0065 View Post
Yeah. I guess I was trying not to be the bad guy here...if it wasn’t for school I would have no problem having him grow his hair out. But he also needs to follow the rules. He’s a well behaved kid so I’ll just say we are going to the barber today and that will be it.

You're not his friend, you're his parent.



It's your job to be the bad guy until he learns why he needs to be his own bad guy...which may be another 10 or 15 years at this rate.


(Says the old man with two successful adult children).
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Old 03-05-2020, 09:09 PM
 
21,922 posts, read 12,482,532 times
Reputation: 22424
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
I've worked as a teacher in a private school with uniforms. I can almost guarantee that the teachers and administrators will remind him of tucking his shirt in, the hair, etc. Let it be.

Does he receive any type of discipline at school for the hair or multiple uniform violations? It might sound harsh, but if so, let it happen. Nagging him about his shirt and hair isn't having an effect. Maybe a school consequence would.

One problem is that schools often "handle problems within the walls" until the last straw, then the parent is suddenly faced with a suspension or expulsion notice without even knowing there had been a ongoing problem.
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