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Old 03-04-2020, 06:01 AM
 
9 posts, read 3,914 times
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My son goes to a school that has a fairly strict uniform...blazer/tie/slacks/dress shoes everyday. Every morning it seems I have having to tell him tuck in his shirt or tighten/straighten his tie before he goes in. He constantly grumbles about it, and then when I pick him up it’s all untucked again.

The school also has rules regarding his hair he’s not following. The school says it has to be short...off of collar/off of ears/out of eyes. He’s always been pretty good about going to the barber, but lately he keeps putting it off and coming up with excuses. His hair is definitely out of dress code by now.

How do I get him to follow these rules? I know it’s strict but he needs to know the rules also apply to him? I see all the other students in the morning and they seem to have no problem tucking in shirts/getting haircuts.
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Old 03-04-2020, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,392 posts, read 46,677,077 times
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How old is he?

If this is high school, stop reminding him. Let him get docked by the principal for not following dress code. Consequences sometimes mean more coming from a different authority figure.
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Old 03-04-2020, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Central Florida
2,473 posts, read 3,010,267 times
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Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
How old is he?

If this is high school, stop reminding him. Let him get docked by the principal for not following dress code. Consequences sometimes mean more coming from a different authority figure.
I agree with this. The fact that he goes to the barber himself -- when he goes -- indicates he's an older kid. I'd let him suffer the consequences imposed by the school, if in fact any are imposed. It may be that nobody at the school cares much about the dress code.
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Old 03-04-2020, 09:08 AM
 
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He’s fourteen. I guess I should have been more clear. I take him to the barber but he keeps coming up with reasons why he can’t go or asking to go another week. I don’t want to drag him there!
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Old 03-04-2020, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,597 posts, read 24,259,875 times
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Originally Posted by alv0065 View Post
He’s fourteen. I guess I should have been more clear. I take him to the barber but he keeps coming up with reasons why he can’t go or asking to go another week. I don’t want to drag him there!
I don't understand this. If he needs a haircut and you need to be the one who takes him, then take him. If he objects to the point he refuses to physically get in the car (which to me indicates you have a larger issue at hand) then you confiscate all screens and activities he enjoys until it's accomplished.
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Old 03-04-2020, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,392 posts, read 46,677,077 times
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Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I don't understand this. If he needs a haircut and you need to be the one who takes him, then take him. If he objects to the point he refuses to physically get in the car (which to me indicates you have a larger issue at hand) then you confiscate all screens and activities he enjoys until it's accomplished.
Right. Teen boys don't usually WANT to go do stuff like this, but it's necessary. So until he can drive, you have to drag him.
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Old 03-04-2020, 10:12 AM
 
9 posts, read 3,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I don't understand this. If he needs a haircut and you need to be the one who takes him, then take him. If he objects to the point he refuses to physically get in the car (which to me indicates you have a larger issue at hand) then you confiscate all screens and activities he enjoys until it's accomplished.
Yeah. I guess I was trying not to be the bad guy here...if it wasn’t for school I would have no problem having him grow his hair out. But he also needs to follow the rules. He’s a well behaved kid so I’ll just say we are going to the barber today and that will be it.
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Old 03-04-2020, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Tucson Arizona
4,774 posts, read 2,160,298 times
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Originally Posted by alv0065 View Post
Yeah. I guess I was trying not to be the bad guy here...if it wasn’t for school I would have no problem having him grow his hair out. But he also needs to follow the rules. He’s a well behaved kid so I’ll just say we are going to the barber today and that will be it.
You're a parent, it's your job to be the bad guy until they can police themselves.

...says the woman without kids
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Old 03-04-2020, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,597 posts, read 24,259,875 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alv0065 View Post
Yeah. I guess I was trying not to be the bad guy here...if it wasn’t for school I would have no problem having him grow his hair out. But he also needs to follow the rules. He’s a well behaved kid so I’ll just say we are going to the barber today and that will be it.
Why do you see this as being the bad guy?

Parents do all kinds of things that kids may not find enjoyable but that need to be. You presumably selected this school for a reason which ultimately benefits him. Following those rules just supports that decision you made.
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Old 03-04-2020, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Winterpeg
1,070 posts, read 441,647 times
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Stop nagging about what you can't control - the tucking in and tie straightening. The school will take care of those if it's an issue.

The haircut is a different sort of issue. Is he just going through a typical "you can't tell me what to do" phase, or is it a more deeper issue with his school that he's indicating by passive aggressive means? If it's the former, too bad for him - make the appointment and take him. The latter might indicate a talk is in order.
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