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Old 03-11-2020, 06:55 AM
 
6,349 posts, read 7,296,737 times
Reputation: 16600

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Just something to keep in mind. When the sugar daddy moves on, guess who will be at your doorstep looking at how $100,000 / year isn't so bad when it pays for food and shelter. Then, when the next sucker comes along, you will be the doormat once again. Rinse and repeat as long as you allow it to happen.


Take care of yourself first. Job is where YOU will be happy.


Then you take care of your child.
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Old 03-12-2020, 02:32 PM
 
2,301 posts, read 749,855 times
Reputation: 4973
Quote:
Originally Posted by 305Mike305 View Post

My mom keeps telling me she doesn't care if I have to bag groceries in NYC or work at Mcdonalds that I need to be wherever my ex-wife moves so that I'm near my child. Because a real man takes care of his responsibilities no matter what.
Tell your mom

1) people who work minimum wage jobs in NYC are usually required to be bilingual - English/Spanish. Not as much in Manhattan but in Queens or Brooklyn definitely.

2) Most minimum wage jobs hire for less than 30 hours so they don't need to pay benefits - health insurance, vacation or sick time. You would need juggle two minimum wage jobs which isn't easy.

3) NYC apartment owners require you to make yearly 40 times of your monthly rent. A studio apartment in a not great area is $1,500 per month so your yearly income needs to be $60,000.

My daughter shared a three bedroom apartment in Queens. Her share of the rent was $1,000, her landlord required her to make $40,000.

4) Stock market/oil markets are crashing. You have not idea what is going to happen to your ex-new bf and if his company can cope with these events.

Your mom is probably real sweet and very kind, but out of touch with NYC
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Old 03-18-2020, 06:56 AM
 
42,319 posts, read 17,231,083 times
Reputation: 27633
1) Get a paternity test. Party girl bouncing between millionaire Sugar Daddies turns up pregnant after sex with a poor boy? Color me skeptical.

2) Get a career plan. Texas oil field roughneck is a good way to end up physically disabled as well as poor. Working for your ex's current Sugar Daddy is a temporary gig, at best. Forget it.

Instead, set up an appointment with a vocational counselor. Free at most colleges. Take some interest inventories, aptitude tests, ... Figure out what you want to do and map out a plan. Whether it includes college, apprenticeship, entry level job, ... Whatever it is, 27 years is long enough to bounce around at anything-for-a-buck jobs.

3) Get into counseling. Preferably with someone who specializes in PTSD. Taking advice from your Mama, your ex and her new Sugar Daddy, or strangers on the internet is no way to figure this out.


You may well end up with this child, whether it is yours or not. The older kids get, the more trouble they are. Sugar Daddies are not known for wanting troublesome rug rats under foot. You need to get yourself situated so that when she dumps him on you, you are able to care for him.

Good luck!
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Old 03-19-2020, 09:04 AM
 
237 posts, read 51,747 times
Reputation: 561
Quote:
Originally Posted by GotHereQuickAsICould View Post
1) Get a paternity test. Party girl bouncing between millionaire Sugar Daddies turns up pregnant after sex with a poor boy? Color me skeptical.

2) Get a career plan. Texas oil field roughneck is a good way to end up physically disabled as well as poor. Working for your ex's current Sugar Daddy is a temporary gig, at best. Forget it.

Instead, set up an appointment with a vocational counselor. Free at most colleges. Take some interest inventories, aptitude tests, ... Figure out what you want to do and map out a plan. Whether it includes college, apprenticeship, entry level job, ... Whatever it is, 27 years is long enough to bounce around at anything-for-a-buck jobs.

3) Get into counseling. Preferably with someone who specializes in PTSD. Taking advice from your Mama, your ex and her new Sugar Daddy, or strangers on the internet is no way to figure this out.


You may well end up with this child, whether it is yours or not. The older kids get, the more trouble they are. Sugar Daddies are not known for wanting troublesome rug rats under foot. You need to get yourself situated so that when she dumps him on you, you are able to care for him.

Good luck!
Bang on brilliant advice.
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Old 03-24-2020, 07:00 AM
 
8 posts, read 4,800 times
Reputation: 21
I've read all the replies.

I want to thank each one of you even the criticism that I've received. I have a CDL and just accepted the job in Texas working frac sand. If the oilfield gets too slow I will go ahead and drive OTR trucking again.

I agree with many of your viewpoints.

To the one poster who was doubtful about the kid situation. I know she was too. When she took the test and it turned positive I asked her how she felt....her words "Of all the men I could've gotten pregnant by it had to be the brokest dude! OMG this can't be my life!"

Anyways. I agree with those of you who said to focus on getting myself together so that I can possibly get custody of my kid later down the line and we can let her go be happy doing what she does best.

That's exactly my gameplan now. I also will be buying the paternity test just in case. The boy looks identical to me....but it's always better to be safe.

I want to thank you guys here at city-data for the insight and I will be getting back into counseling with my mental health doctors for my PTSD.

Much Love!
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Old 03-29-2020, 10:00 AM
 
2,301 posts, read 749,855 times
Reputation: 4973
Glad you are moving forward in your life. Good luck to you! Stay well!
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Old 04-04-2020, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Jersey City
132 posts, read 39,891 times
Reputation: 147
Man men are a trip. You knocked up a chick because she was super attractive and popular on instagram (add that to mother of your child potential)...and resent her for wanting the finer things in life and putting you down. Sounds like a match made in heaven.
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Old 04-04-2020, 06:28 PM
 
1,959 posts, read 567,322 times
Reputation: 1505
This was a long thread. One thing that struck me is that you seem obsessed with money and physical appearances. Money is fairly important in life but you don’t necessarily need to have tons of it. If you were making 70k in Florida at the age of 24 then that is pretty darn good. I think the woman you met did a number on your self esteem. Get her out of your life. Also looks fade. People age you need much more than looks to have a good relationship. Unfortunately this woman will always be in your life because you have a child with her. She sounds like a nasty person and if I were single I’d hate to get involved with a guy who has a baby’s mama like her. I’d be steering clear of you but not all girls are like me.

I would do what you want to do at this point. It’s not clear to me how involved you are in your child’s life but I would not take a job working for your exes boyfriend. Can’t say I’d want to be in nyc at all right now given all the coronavirus cases.

Good luck.
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Old 05-18-2020, 08:31 AM
 
2,301 posts, read 749,855 times
Reputation: 4973
OP, the world and New York City is different from when you made your original post on March 7th - pre-shutdown of NYC and the drop in oil prices.

Any updates?
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