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Old 03-12-2020, 11:21 AM
 
2,320 posts, read 721,754 times
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I don't sense OP came here for lectures on how they ought to get their life together or whether they should spill their soul to the kid or whether they should be "positive." They wondered how to keep a positive attitude. (IOW, they wanted advice, not judgment.)

OP, the best thing I can suggest is trying to take care of yourself. Do you have friends/family you can talk to, or does it at least help you to keep a journal or something? Do you have friends nearby you can spend time with, or low/no cost activities you can get out and do? Is there someone who can watch your child while you get some time to yourself without responsibilities or worries (even if it's just a bubble bath with a good book)?
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Old 03-12-2020, 12:48 PM
 
12,380 posts, read 9,442,894 times
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Interesting that the Bible encourages us to have hearts like children.

Maybe we should learn from them.
I've been extremely low. For me personally, my strength, hope comes through faith.

I believe teaching your children faith is one of the best things a parent can do.

And-a huge drawing point for me when I was broke with 2 kids- church is free.
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Old 03-12-2020, 01:50 PM
 
9,470 posts, read 3,553,795 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
Interesting that the Bible encourages us to have hearts like children.

Maybe we should learn from them.
I've been extremely low. For me personally, my strength, hope comes through faith.

I believe teaching your children faith is one of the best things a parent can do.

And-a huge drawing point for me when I was broke with 2 kids- church is free.

Good post. :-) In light of your post, a couple of verses come to mind.


"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."


And


"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

In the last several days, because of all the COVID19 news, I've been reminding myself of the first verse quite a bit.
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Old 03-12-2020, 01:54 PM
 
Location: southern california
58,435 posts, read 77,417,140 times
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I was fortunate my parents wore all their trials on their sleeves so I grew up thinking the world is dangerous with terrible consequences for wrong doing only avoidable by much prayer and alertness
This made me successful but people call me names like paranoid
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Old 03-12-2020, 01:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
I was fortunate my parents wore all their trials on their sleeves so I grew up thinking the world is dangerous with terrible consequences for wrong doing only avoidable by much prayer and alertness
This made me successful but people call me names like paranoid

And you come off, here, like a Negative Nancy.
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Old 03-12-2020, 02:03 PM
 
Location: southern california
58,435 posts, read 77,417,140 times
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Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
And you come off, here, like a Negative Nancy.
I’m sorry I will dial up the Disney channel for you right away
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Old 03-12-2020, 02:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
I’m sorry I will dial up the Disney channel for you right away

That would be nice. ;-)
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Old 03-13-2020, 01:25 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
19,629 posts, read 12,716,287 times
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Originally Posted by unknown00 View Post
We all go through tough times in our life, but how do you stay positive for the family and children?

When I say traumatic downturns, I mean bad things that make your life spiral downwards into depression. Losing a job, losing an immediate family member, filing for bankruptcy, finding out you have cancer, getting really injured, etc etc. Your children, esp the young ones, are so happy and positive and have no idea.

For example, I could be struggling to make rent/mortgage this month. My toddler is so positive and happy and fun he has no idea what's going through my head but I'm dying inside. Toddler just wants to run around the park and play with their toys. How do you stay positive?

I have two sons, now grown, and during their childhood we had quite a few good things happen, and also some very devastating things happen too. We used those down times to try to teach them toughness and keeping a positive attitude. If I lost a job, my attitude to them was " I will find a better job and things will be better".

Even when we had to move around the country, as a young family, we used it as a positive learning tool, and tried to encourage them to see it as a new adventure. Yes, sometimes it was hard, but we always stayed united and in the end it all turned out ok. We just always let them know mom and dad would always be there for them.
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Old 03-13-2020, 08:30 AM
 
3,194 posts, read 2,102,823 times
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Young children are innocent for such a short amount of time, a parent should do all they can to keep them that way.


When my mother died in an accident on vacation, we gave it a week to collect ourselves and tried to break it to our not quite 4 yr old daughter as easily as we could. Up to that point, my child had cried from throwing a tantrum, losing a toy, or getting a skinned knee or something. She had never had an "adult" emotional response that made her cry. When I told her that she would never be able to see Nana again, that was the first time she cried like that, and it killed me to do it. In many ways that hurt more than losing my mother, because that was the moment that sadness/grief was introduced permanently into her life.



Things got worse for our family but they were things that she is too young to understand so we have shielded her from those things until she is older. With her Nana though, there just wasn't a way we could not tell her, as she lived close by and they saw each other every week.


Kids don't have the emotional or mental development to really grasp concepts like the fear of going bankrupt or losing your home either. My own daughter at age 6 now thinks she has enough money in her piggy bank to buy a house, or to lend to me if I need more money, and that everything would be fine. So the point is, even if you were to tell a child unnecessarily all the crap you are going through... if they are young they won't appreciate the gravity of such a situation anyway, and they're not supposed to. That's part of being an adult, and they are not adults.
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Old 03-23-2020, 01:16 PM
 
6 posts, read 1,052 times
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Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
I don't think staying positive is the way to go when something traumatic is occurring. Loved ones should share their lives, both good and bad. That is how one has relationships. Age appropriate of course.

Best of luck.
totally agree
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