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Old 03-20-2020, 04:08 PM
237 posts, read 53,181 times
Reputation: 568


It's not always within the employee's decision to stop coming to work. If people make the decision not to continue showing up for the job, that's grounds for dismissal.
Not everyone, in fact most, has the economic freedom to make that decision.

Perhaps some (me included) thought the language of the original and subsequent posts sounded frivolous and entitled but it's becoming clear that Mom has real valid concerns about her little boy.

I think this is her first child? We love all our children but the first is special because, well because it's the first.

And 5/6 is an adorable age.

OP, hang on, hold fast, keep calm and carry on.

I'm glad you'll be home with your son he'll be the better for it. I hope hiatus will be compensated. It should be.


Old 03-20-2020, 04:08 PM
8,749 posts, read 4,701,669 times
Reputation: 18759
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
I have ALWAYS made that decision. When I went to work after he was born I decided feeding him was more important than being home all day. Which is the exact decision every single person ever makes when they go to work. And being deemed "essential personnel" by the governor makes it impossible for me to make sure I still have a job when this is over unless I go to work. If he didnt decide high rise office buildings are more important than allowing people to go home without penalty, then yes I have to work.
Never mind.

I just heard Cuomo say on the news "If someone is unhappy, somebody wants to blame someone or complain about someone, blame me."

Feel free to carry on with passing on your responsibilities to someone else.
Old 03-20-2020, 10:29 PM
Location: California
31,826 posts, read 35,117,525 times
Reputation: 27538
It is a sad thing and it's completely ok to feel upset about it. My son is graduating with his Masters and since he didn't walk for his BA or AA it was kind of a big deal but whatever. My friends son was about to do all the high school senior stuff and that all got cancelled. He's completely bummed and I don't blame him.

Yes, YES, we are all happy to be alive and hope it stays that way, but it's not the ONLY thing we are thinking about. The "shelter in place" rule is alive here as well so the isolation from friends and family is bound to take an emotional toll on everyone.
Old 03-20-2020, 11:29 PM
8,426 posts, read 14,054,621 times
Reputation: 10970
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
If they close our liquor stores I will be freaking out.
Me too..I got my wine, my coffee & netflix.
Take any away and things could get dicey here.
Old 03-20-2020, 11:32 PM
8,426 posts, read 14,054,621 times
Reputation: 10970
It's hard to relate or sympathize.

Time to teach by example of how to be flexible & stay positive.

Spend your energy on how to creatively use the time to teach some life skills.

Have some fun cooking together, start a garden and so on.

That was about the age of my boys when their dad left and I learned to single parent.
I handled that better than you are handling an early summer school dismissal.
We went to plan B and had a great year doing amazing family fun things.
Old 03-21-2020, 09:31 AM
1,478 posts, read 839,156 times
Reputation: 5333
OP, I do sympathize with this situation that parents are in during this time.

Now that you will be home, co-ordinate with your husband so your son has a somewhat structured week. Most kids crave stability and a schedule, even if somewhat loose. They like to know what happens next.

My mother taught elementary school for decades years ago. One thing she did for us in the summer was have “Choose Your Topic Week!” during the summer break. We could decide on special interests (volcanoes, dinosaurs, planets, Arctic animals, zoo animals, pets, bugs, bees, fairies, etc.) and every week we explored that subject.

Tons of info is on the Internet now geared for your young son. Books can be ordered for delivery. He can draw pictures (we drew pictures in chocolate syrup on a cookie sheet sometimes), make a simple “book”, create a diorama, build a Lego zoo, make a terrarium (easy), etc. Bake or make dinner recipes (give silly names) to tie in with your weekly topic. My brother loved “Dinosaur Mash” which was simply sloppy Joes. We still call it that as a family joke.

Put on music and dance around. Classical music is actually great for that, too. Read aloud to your child. Give him a quiet time every day for him to amuse himself with toys or books (not screens).

Get outside as much as possible. Gardening is still a ways off but sunflowers, for example, grow very quickly and will grow as tall or taller as your son. Play with balls. Give him a bucket of water and a paintbrush to “paint” outside. Use chalk on the driveway. I’m sure you already know many of these things ~ best of luck.
Old 03-21-2020, 09:46 AM
1,080 posts, read 405,666 times
Reputation: 2806
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
That's how a lot of kids felt back then. It sounds like the OP's kids actually enjoy some aspects of school, which is great. My school didn't have those little graduation ceremonies in the earlier grades; only at the end of high school. We didn't have yearbooks in grade school or middle school, either. They were a HS thing, and I wouldn't have missed them, if they'd been cancelled for whatever reason. But the OP's kids are getting a lot out of their school experience, and those little traditions have meaning for them. I'm amazed, but I'm happy for them.

Sometimes stuff happens in life that gets in the way. This virus is nothing compared to what generations living through two World Wars had to deal with; wartime, including starvation for some, displacement, revolutions, more displacement, emigration and adjusting to new countries, cultures, and languages, while job-seeking and trying to re-establish a normal life. I don't know how people did it; of course it was stressful, but you never heard of any complaints, of fatigue, PTSD (except for some of the soldiers), and other hardships.

We've been fortunate to have grown up and lived our lives in relative stability. Our turn is coming though; increased incidence of disease of global proportions, forest fires (now a global phenomenon), more damaging storms and erosion of coastlines causing displacement, loss of livelihood for some, homes destroyed, premature death, trauma. This is the time to help kids build resilience, an ability to roll with life's punches. They'll remember the year school ended months early, and everyone had to stay home. Look for ways to help them adjust and turn some of it into a positive experience, perhaps with learning activities and projects at home, if you're a stay-at-home mom, OP. It could be a lesson in making lemonade out of lemons. And don't forget to give yourself some time-outs, to rest, refresh and de-stress.
Originally posted by RubyandPearl
School is not Life.
Home life and family relationships are far more important than school and school friends.
Until the 20th C. most children were home-schooled or taught in small community schools of twenty or so kids.
Not being in the large institutional setting of modern day schools isn't a tragedy for kids.
If they're bored at home put them to work.
Sweep the floors.
Prepare the garden for spring planting.
Paint the shed.
Wash the cars.
Fold the laundry.
I didn't dare tell my mother I was bored when I was a kid. If I didn't find something to do on my own she'd find something for me right quick.
Pick up your spirits and don't be sad. Be a role model of resilience for your children.
I really like the two posts above.

Yeah, at this temporary difficult situation, when I hear parents, young people and children to complain, whine and gripe (yeah, I know all those verbs mean the same meaning, but I wanted to emphasize what they are doing), I feel sick and tired. I have children of my own. I was a child too. I went through much worse. My Mom brought us growing up to be strong adults, learning to deal with hardships in positive ways, not to complain so much. When you complain so much, you make everybody around you feeling sick and tired and cranky and want to swear at you.

What people have to experience at this time is nothing to compare to what people (adults and children) had to go through the WWI & WWII or people in the wars in Iraq, Iran decades ago. Imagine in those wars, people had to face hearing shooting, bombing and deaths by hundreds, thousands everyday. They were dying in extremely physical pains. They lost their parents, children, loved ones. They had to swallow their tears, overcome their injuries and pains and move on. People had to hide under the ground, had no food to eat, lived in darkness, slept on gravels, rocks and rough ground, had no loved ones beside to comfort them and were so scared.

At this time most people in the North America and many other counties still have food to eat, clothes to wear, house to live, TV to watch, computers, laptops, smart phones and games to play. Parents and children can stay in the same house together. Friends can talk with each other on their cell phones, and can see each other on Skype or FaceTime. Even homeless people have shelters and food provided by the communities. The governments are thinking how to help people as much as they can. What people have today is like Heaven for millions or billions of people in war times.

What do some people think they are? When problems happen, they just sit there and expect somebody else, like government and employers, school principals and teaches to solve the problems for them?

So many people today are spoiled, feeling entitled, greedy. The more they have, the more they want, the more they demand somebody else to give, provide what they want. They think that is someone's responsibility to meet their needs and wants. It's never enough.

For those who just see the negatives and what they have lost, but can't see that they are still much luckier than our grand or great-grandparents and say: "And a further note, just because "things could be worse" or "earlier generations had it harder" does not diminish the feelings of the people going through this now. This is our famine. Our depression. Our great war. etc. Its a world wide disruption of everything we know. There is no amount of calmness that makes it easier to deal with. It is not easy and children, with their limited understanding of how the world works, are still suffering for it", they have problems and need to have a close look at themselves and change their attitudes. Things happen in life constantly. Face them. Find solutions for them. Be the part of solutions; don't be the part of complainers.

Remember John F. Kennedy said: “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

I know lots of people don't want to hear what I said or disagree with the above. That's their problem.

Last edited by AnOrdinaryCitizen; 03-21-2020 at 11:12 AM..
Old 03-21-2020, 01:49 PM
Location: Kirkland, WA (Metro Seattle)
4,582 posts, read 3,713,641 times
Reputation: 8696
Originally Posted by Berrie143 View Post
Honestly, I do not believe that our society can sustain this type of separation and shutdown for more than a few months, tops. People can talk all they want about "containing the spread" and how "resilient" kids are but let's be honest: we're a social species and we need to be together.
We can't, and we won't. We'll need the Fed to have a plan of some kind in (about) two weeks, or people will make the choice for themselves: what's worse, catching a flu that has complications and deaths for (some) or letting our economy collapse, and God knows what happens then: millions in the breadline, negative fourteen percent growth for Q2 (one estimate I heard today, can't quote the source).

We're in uncharted territory here. I have no kids and my job is solid until September, really hoping for my and everyone else's sake there is a master plan within the month, if not a few weeks.
Old 03-21-2020, 02:20 PM
Location: Watervliet, NY
4,808 posts, read 1,967,157 times
Reputation: 8878
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
Other children are trying to figure out why they are being isolated and cant see their friends or go to school. Being trapped in the house sucks, But so does having youre entire routine upended unexpectedly.
Every kid who is complaining about current circumstances needs to be sat down and taught about Anne Frank and what she went through.
Old 03-21-2020, 02:34 PM
3,967 posts, read 4,347,880 times
Reputation: 4208
Originally Posted by LO28SWM View Post
Nj has not cancelled the entire year just yet but it may happen.

I just saw a woman i follow on social media whose school district is out for the rest of year make a post about the sadness of the year ending unexpectedly in march. Her children are in 5th and 8th grade so this is their last year in elementary and middle school. They came home for spring break and never went back.

She is sad when reflecting on the little things we dont think about. It made me sad too. Her childrens lockers are full of their art projects and pens and little items they took to school. Their desks still have their work and their books. Her children are asking what about yearbooks? what about signatures?

She never got to walk out of the elementary school for the last time ever with her brand new middle schooler and celebrate those moments. What about advancement ceremonies? Graduations? Celebrating the start of summer and the days ahead. The slow wind down of the end of the year where you say goodbye to your friends, some you dont ever see again. Saying thank you to their teachers, their principals for raising and teacher your little people when you cant.

These things are so very sad. This is my son kindergarten year. Hes learning to read and write and do math. But hes also learning how to sit in his desk and pay attention, learning that sometimes you do what you dont want to do, learning to keep up with his papers and his lunchbox. Learning independence. And now I dont know if im even going to get to celebrate his completion of his first year of school, celebrate his achievement of going into kinder as practically a baby and coming out a big kid who doesnt need me nearly as much. Say thank you to the amazing staff of teachers and give them a small gift at his kindergarten graduation.

In a world gone mad, these things dont seem that important..but they are.


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