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Old 04-06-2020, 07:19 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,404 posts, read 46,693,254 times
Reputation: 94774

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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I am a retired Early Childhood Special Education Teacher (with almost forty years of experience and a masters degree in Early Childhood Development). IMHO, this is a significant level of inappropriate and dangerous behavior. Please contact your daughter's pediatrician as soon as the office opens tomorrow morning (or even tonight if she does not settle down). Insist that you receive a referral to a child psychiatrist. If you are not able to get an emergency appointment sometime this week, I would suggest contacting your local children's hospital for assistance. This is not something that you can just "ignore and hope it gets better" and not something that you can handle by reading a few books and trying new behavioral techniques on your own.
Absolutely.
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Old 04-06-2020, 08:07 PM
 
9 posts, read 5,265 times
Reputation: 18
My wife is taking off tomorrow and making the necessary phone calls. But I just don't understand why my daughter is so upset. I bought and read the damn explosive child book. Describes her to a T. Zero advice on how to handle her at red zone. I understand avoiding it is key but today her and I were washing the truck together and I accidentally sprayed her with the hose. I apologized over and over but she ran off down the street calling me stupid. Neighbors coming out to ask if she's ok. I was so embarrassed. I had to carry her home punching me in the face. How can I plan to avoid spraying her with the hose?
That's ridiculous. I need redline advice not advice on how to collaborate with a 4 year old. It's just a matter of priority. I'm sorry but I've had a bad day.
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Old 04-06-2020, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,404 posts, read 46,693,254 times
Reputation: 94774
Quote:
Originally Posted by daddy2dd View Post
My wife is taking off tomorrow and making the necessary phone calls. But I just don't understand why my daughter is so upset. I bought and read the damn explosive child book. Describes her to a T. Zero advice on how to handle her at red zone. I understand avoiding it is key but today her and I were washing the truck together and I accidentally sprayed her with the hose. I apologized over and over but she ran off down the street calling me stupid. Neighbors coming out to ask if she's ok. I was so embarrassed. I had to carry her home punching me in the face. How can I plan to avoid spraying her with the hose?
That's ridiculous. I need redline advice not advice on how to collaborate with a 4 year old. It's just a matter of priority. I'm sorry but I've had a bad day.
You're looking it all wrong.

If this is real, your first step is to stop thinking this situation is anything like another human interaction. You're applying adult logic to a situation that doesn't follow that playbook.

For your own sanity, stop thinking you can prevent these outbursts. You can't look at this like behavior that can react rationally to an apology.

Temper your activities to stuff that's more predictable until you get in touch with a doctor.
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Old 04-06-2020, 08:35 PM
 
9 posts, read 5,265 times
Reputation: 18
If it's real? Today I had to call my 60 year old father to come help me. I hadn't see him for a month due to quarantine and he's 5 minutes away. He came over and held her while she called him stupid and screamed and vomited on him.

It was his first time seeing it. We had told him about it but he always assumed it was exaggerated somehow. He has raised 4 kids but said he's never seen anything like that. I'm close w my dad and when he was trying to restrain her from hitting him it was like watching myself. He said and did things the same way I do but it just doesn't help.
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Old 04-06-2020, 09:11 PM
 
237 posts, read 51,747 times
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daddy2dd I'm so sorry your family is going through this, and during quarantine and with a new baby on the way.

As said above by two members whose advice and insight and instinct for helping is consistently on point, this situation is beyond cure by diet and regular routine.

This poor child needs professional medical attention. It's important that you called in your father to help and to witness her behavior.

Recording the behavior for the doctor would be helpful as well. People do generally assume the parent is exaggerating their child's behavior. Seeing it is quite another thing.

Until the time that something can be done, maybe limitations on daddy/daughter activities would be helpful.

As you say, how can you avoid accidentally spraying someone with the hose when washing the car? Getting a little wet is part of the activity. And why is it so horrible to be accidentally sprayed anyway?

Please don't be embarrassed in front of the neighbors, this is a serious problem not an embarrassment.

My hope is that a course of action is decided upon before someone is seriously injured.

Please let us know if the doctor was of any help.
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Old 04-06-2020, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,404 posts, read 46,693,254 times
Reputation: 94774
Quote:
Originally Posted by daddy2dd View Post

If it's real?
Yeah. We get bored people here who like to exercise their fiction skills, and your reaction to a lot of this just tripped my radar.

So ... You really don't think she's upset do you? It might help if you think of something else making the decisions for her. She's most likely dealing with some kind of mental health challenge, and you'll need to relearn how to both communicate and cope with her challenges. It's about getting beyond the anger and outbursts to the root of what's causing this reaction.

Hopefully your wife gets some answers tomorrow. Baby steps ...
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Old 04-06-2020, 09:15 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,451 posts, read 19,206,858 times
Reputation: 46286
I am glad that you are seeking professional help.

Please be open and completely honest with them and you will be able to get assistance.

Good luck.

BTW, for people who think that this is a hoax and children can not act that way i can assure you that I personally have taught four year old students whose problems were even more severe.
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Old 04-06-2020, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,404 posts, read 46,693,254 times
Reputation: 94774
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
BTW, for people who think that this is a hoax and children can not act that way i can assure you that I personally have taught four year old students whose problems were even more severe.
I don't doubt the child's behavior or condition, as I also have experience with this.

I was skeptical of the father's reactions and assessment and asked about it. That's all.
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Old 04-06-2020, 09:28 PM
 
Location: planet earth
6,625 posts, read 2,744,389 times
Reputation: 14894
How was she able to vomit on demand, though?
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Old 04-06-2020, 10:39 PM
 
1,708 posts, read 1,063,873 times
Reputation: 2168
What worked for my kids when they were little:

Don't be so busy you don't spend one on one time with her.
We read to our kids. When my oldest woke up, I'd break from whatever I was doing and sit down with him on the couch and read him a book. It was a quiet time to be together. I noticed when I didn't do that, he'd act out more that day.

Find things she can do. Teach her. Have her help dust. Mop. Let her dump water on the floor and push it around. Let her get on a chair and watch how dinner is made. Ask her opinion if something tastes good. Repeat the names of the foods you're cutting up. Tell her she's the taste tester. Ask her to smell it. Feel it. Get her involved. Get up off the computer or the couch and do some fun creative things together.

Pretend is a great teaching tool. Give honest praise. We also used time out with our kids which worked better than taking away toys. A corner in the room is better for observing her than sticking her in her room behind a door.

I agree with professional help.
In the meantime praise her, get her to participate. Be happy she is learning even if she messes up. Keeping track of her progress with a sticker chart and rewards . . . Working towards a goal can be taught young. Don't let negative behavior be the only time she has your attention.
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