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Old 05-16-2020, 08:21 AM
 
Location: NJ
13,183 posts, read 22,896,266 times
Reputation: 12164

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaceyellis View Post
You are a strong woman... thats for sure!! Well done!!

Re Child Support - Nope... he was giving her a check 4 times a month (as a self employed detailer, he didnt have regular paychecks so he would give her 4 intallments a month and she agreed to it). He wont file for unemployment (he claims he cant get it.. but thats not true) and he hasnt filed his taxes since the year before they divorced so we doubt he'll get a stimulus.

When he filed with the courts last month - it was for a 'hardship' waiver of his child support. He had put on the court paperwork that he would pay $100 of his obligation by the 29th of April (and the balance will still be owing, but he wont get in trouble for it owing currently due to the virus) - BUT that IF he failed to pay that $100 the hardship file would be void. He claimed he made ZERO money, hence the need for the hardship... but my daughter is able to still look at his detailing schedule and it looks like he has been working pretty steadily throughout the month. And the fact that he claims he cant take their child for a full month at a time - only every other weekend, suggests he is still working - cause otherwise... what the heck is he doing all day every day that he cant take his child?

Anyway..... he never paid that $100 and my daughter rec'd a letter from DHS yesterday explaining that the hardship was ONLY for the month of April.. and now he is SOL because they are going to investigate him lolololol (Karma Baby).

Actually I do take my grandchild Ive had her since the end of March - every single day Mon - Fri. My daughter drops her off at my house on her way to work (she lives just up the street from me) and she picks her up on her way home from work. Additionally I keep her overnight one night a week so my daughter has at least a little time to herself. Its difficult for me to take my grandchild on the weekends, or overnight on the weekends because I need those 2 days to recuperate... its tough having a 4 year old again all day long, pretty much 'cooped up' (particularly as my grandchild has behavioural issues) - and one day a month my daughter has taken a PTO day and I keep my grandchild overnight that night so my daughter can recuperate.

I was a single mom of my kids from the time they were little little... and there was NO visitation, NO child support no anything from my ex... so I know how difficult it is in the best of times to be a single parent... so between us - my daughter and I - we have made it work... but its not easy.

And it just pisses me off... her ex... he's an Ahole for sure.
It sounds like he's working for himself with a cash business. Your daughter being able to see his calendar can get him in a lot of trouble with the IRS if that's the case. My son's sperm donor used to do the same working under the table for a while but thankfully child support was thru the system, they would lock him up; his mother would pay it. Hopefully they will investigate him. He surely deserves it!

She's very lucky to have you. I did the same with my grandson last year when he had 1/2 day kindergarten, she was working so I feel for you. I know you need those weekends off.
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Old 05-16-2020, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Oregon
313 posts, read 72,846 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
It sounds like he's working for himself with a cash business. Your daughter being able to see his calendar can get him in a lot of trouble with the IRS if that's the case. My son's sperm donor used to do the same working under the table for a while but thankfully child support was thru the system, they would lock him up; his mother would pay it. Hopefully they will investigate him. He surely deserves it!

She's very lucky to have you. I did the same with my grandson last year when he had 1/2 day kindergarten, she was working so I feel for you. I know you need those weekends off.
Yup thats exactly what hes doing.
IRS will definitely catch up.. since he hasnt filed in.. I guess its been 2 years now - and prior to divorcing he hadnt paid for a year...
Once this pandemic all clears my daughter is going to have DHS take over child support - because when the ex was paying.. every single week he'd say something nasty or mean to my daughter and theres just no need for her to have to deal with that.
I hope they do lock him up!!
Ahhh I remember when each of my kids went off to half day kindergarten.. it was lovely - and then .. after the first hour I didnt know what to do with myself LOL

Good for you for helping with your grandson!! You KNOW how tough it can be! But... thats what Moms do... it doesnt stop just cause your kids are 'grown up'

btw - I was reading your profile... you are amazing!! What a kind and wonderful person you are to have the job that you do!!
Kacey
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Old 05-16-2020, 09:13 AM
 
2,320 posts, read 721,754 times
Reputation: 6191
Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
No visitation until this is over. Kid must stay at one household, can have video chats with other parent. It's a matter of life and death.

Child support is unrelated to visitation. If parent loses job, not much court can do about it, and no one is getting into court for these matters until it's all over. Got to deal with it. Apply for food stamps, whatever other benefits, if you need to. Other parent will get unemployment. You can call child support office and ask them to garnish from other parent's unemployment - that might work.
I've never understood this. If the custodial parent loses a job, they don't get to just decide to stop paying, or reduce the amount they pay, for the child's needs...
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