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Old 04-07-2020, 07:39 PM
 
928 posts, read 878,804 times
Reputation: 1687

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They. Are. Your. PARENTS.

Say's it right there in the Ten Commandments:

"HONOR Thy Mother & Father."

Ok, so even if you laugh & say you "don't believe in an invisible sky-god..."

...that's ok...whatever works for you...

...but it's hard NOT to agree with that Commandment being a 'general' all-round GOOD thing...

Is it ? ? ?
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Old 04-07-2020, 09:20 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
8,163 posts, read 9,824,646 times
Reputation: 12154
Quote:
Originally Posted by GVLNATIVE View Post
My parents are in their 70s. They aren't in great health. My mother has no immunity to basically anything, and my father is just old and infirm.


My mother is demanding that I come visit, and that if I come, I stay for an extended period. That doesn't sound safe to me, since I am in an area with a high prevalence of coronavirus.


My mother demands that when I come, I have to stay only in my bedroom and in one small parlor in one corner of the house.


That doesn't sound great. Work is really busy; we're required to work remotely, but I need a desk, phone, printer, etc. I'll have to sit in a chair with no desk, with a laptop in my lap.


Would you even go?


Thanks.
You're a grown ass adult right?
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Old 04-07-2020, 09:39 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
84,009 posts, read 77,061,275 times
Reputation: 84788
Quote:
Originally Posted by GVLNATIVE View Post
I don't recall saying that there is no wifi at my parents' house. There definitely is. I am working. My job is in front of a computer for hours on end so a few minutes here and there online is part of the workday.
My bad. You said you couldn't get any work done there, because there was no desk or office equipment.

So, in your estimation, what was the fuss all about? It sounds like she's settled down quite a bit.
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Old 04-07-2020, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Northern Maine
5,330 posts, read 1,935,284 times
Reputation: 7702
Quote:
Originally Posted by GVLNATIVE View Post
My parents are in their 70s. They aren't in great health. My mother has no immunity to basically anything, and my father is just old and infirm.


My mother is demanding that I come visit, and that if I come, I stay for an extended period. That doesn't sound safe to me, since I am in an area with a high prevalence of coronavirus.


My mother demands that when I come, I have to stay only in my bedroom and in one small parlor in one corner of the house.


That doesn't sound great. Work is really busy; we're required to work remotely, but I need a desk, phone, printer, etc. I'll have to sit in a chair with no desk, with a laptop in my lap.


Would you even go?


Thanks.
I'd want to hear your mothers side of the story first.
Otherwise its just gossip.
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Old 04-12-2020, 12:28 PM
 
4,144 posts, read 7,893,204 times
Reputation: 4923
Quote:
Originally Posted by GVLNATIVE View Post
Thanks, everyone. I am now with them. Despite plans to stay far away from them, my mother is my shadow, certainly not 6 feet away, even though I keep telling them to back off, and that I could have coronavirus despite seeming healthy.

It hasn't been that long since my earlier response, which was "No!" - but I have changed my thinking on this. Families need to start getting back together, covid or not. (People need to go back to work, too.)



How much to expose themselves to potential illness is up to your parents. Not everyone wants to live to be 100; quality of life is more important than length.


When we were being told, "Flatten the curve, practice social distancing for a few weeks," that was different. But this indefinite, "Stay in until all danger has passed" is ridiculous.
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Old 04-12-2020, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Northern NJ
9,468 posts, read 8,604,154 times
Reputation: 12576
Quote:
Originally Posted by sll3454 View Post
It hasn't been that long since my earlier response, which was "No!" - but I have changed my thinking on this. Families need to start getting back together, covid or not. (People need to go back to work, too.)



How much to expose themselves to potential illness is up to your parents. Not everyone wants to live to be 100; quality of life is more important than length.


When we were being told, "Flatten the curve, practice social distancing for a few weeks," that was different. But this indefinite, "Stay in until all danger has passed" is ridiculous.
Staying alive had value before, but not now, because you're bored?
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Old 04-12-2020, 09:16 PM
 
5,316 posts, read 4,651,250 times
Reputation: 11633
Your mother was in a panic because she felt helpless that she had no control over something. People that get that way want to control something. You would be that something OP.
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Old 04-13-2020, 01:28 AM
 
4,144 posts, read 7,893,204 times
Reputation: 4923
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella View Post
Staying alive had value before, but not now, because you're bored?

I'm not bored. In fact, my daily life has changed very little. I was supportive of the stay-at-home stuff for everyone who could - because we were trying to lower the curve.

That objective has been met. With a couple of exceptions, hospitals are in fine shape. I still think people should be careful, but I think they should be able to make their own decisions for themselves and their families.
In my first response, I was thinking of OP's parents health, and of the overloaded healthcare system that they could be adding a burden to. Now, however, if they are willing to risk getting the virus, that's their business. The hospitals are fine.
It's interesting that you assume my opinions are all about me.
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Old 04-25-2020, 04:01 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA —> North Carolina in October
24,649 posts, read 35,056,134 times
Reputation: 34471
Quote:
Originally Posted by GVLNATIVE View Post
My parents are in their 70s. They aren't in great health. My mother has no immunity to basically anything, and my father is just old and infirm.


My mother is demanding that I come visit, and that if I come, I stay for an extended period. That doesn't sound safe to me, since I am in an area with a high prevalence of coronavirus.


My mother demands that when I come, I have to stay only in my bedroom and in one small parlor in one corner of the house.


That doesn't sound great. Work is really busy; we're required to work remotely, but I need a desk, phone, printer, etc. I'll have to sit in a chair with no desk, with a laptop in my lap.


Would you even go?


Thanks.
Not even a close call. This is a “HELL NO” answer to this situation. I’d love to visit my mother with my added flexibility but going from a higher risk area like my county in Virginia considering she is higher risk is just not a good combination. One thing if your parents get the virus from Joe Schmoe, but you don’t even want to entertain the possibility of bringing it to them yourself potentially. You need to stand your ground and decline for the sake of their health.
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Old 04-25-2020, 04:08 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA —> North Carolina in October
24,649 posts, read 35,056,134 times
Reputation: 34471
Quote:
Originally Posted by personone View Post
Something about the OP's story just doesn't add up. Not saying that he/she has made this story/thread up, but it just doesn't feel like it adds up. The OP mentioned that his parents are 600 miles away, which would necessitate a flight (and all the hassle and danger that comes with travel during this time); yet there is no mention of that at all by the OP.

The OP asks for advice, and mentions that he knows it is dangerous and a bad idea. Yet, he goes anyway based on the request of his mother (what was the need for soliciting advice on this forum?). The OP mentioned that something doesn't sound right talking to his mother, yet never mentions confirming with his father? Then he mentions that he is not practicing social distancing even though he was talking about how sick/at-risk his mother is????

Again, something just doesn't add up with this story. Not saying the OP made this up, but if it is true, there are a lot of details left out to understand his/her thought process.
For 600 miles, a flight is far from a necessity. I do that mileage every year to visit my mother driving. Very manageable trip under normal circumstances. No way I’d try it now simply because of the stops that would need to be made in risky public bathrooms.
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